when a bluebird lands on a chinese orchid
and oranges roll through your historic country mind
and everything beautiful is seen in nuclear battlefields
i loosen my grip on the ladle of conception

and a speck of dust lands on a bed and explodes
one million diamonds rain from a cave on a fictional island
my mother is crying next to homeless men but for different reasons
the blade of a hunting knife sinks steadily into my temple

the hand of my killer is seized and returned to its owner
all guests of the gala evaporate through the walls
and street lamps click off for the morning sun
a child runs into the black void of his mothers warm embrace

pity him
he's a helpless fool
agitated and coarse

pardon him
he's not so nice
abrasive no remorse

pardon me
i'm in the way
ignorant in my prose

pity me
i've been aborted
useless and disposed

forget my pardon
forget my pity
im not a victim
of his tyranny

i follow in a dream every night
a light whose blush nullifies the emptiness of my room

shifting shapes and colors and sounds
and speed and time and air
does anybody know what is going on?

i only love that which i can not understand

hello everyone
you know who i am
let me tell you about my fears

i work alone without anyone knowing i'm there
i disappear for hours and no one cares

i keep a woman with me all day
since nobodies taking notice anyway

so i can have my joys so plenty and swollen
as long as i too do not take notice

hello everyone
you know who i am
let me tell you about my fears

i daydream about a woman i knew
but know now she does not exist

she paints me pink with bubble gum dream pop
and i night dream about her too

my world so beautiful and pure with her here
that was a long time ago but she is still here

goodbye everyone
you knew who i was
you already knew about my fears

i can't keep in me all of you forever
i can't continue to pretend you're watching

in the morning I'm strong, the afternoon I'm weak
more than the sky changes between morning n night

i fear waking up at 4 in the morning
to wonder if my world is real

she really did do it
she knocked me out
boarded up my windows
sold me out
froze me up
burnt me down
she really did do it

she really did do it
she shut me up
took me in
turned me on
she got me off
broke my spell
she really did it well

she really really did it
she opened my ears
cut out my eyes
opened my mind
left me paralyzed
then she ran away
she really ran away

Irony in
The wildest eyes
Sleep with nothing
In the sky

Lucrative love
Of a guy
Poverty from
You and I

Eat the rich
Eat the *****
You're the *****
I'm the guy

Unjust is that
Which sleeps through beauty
Or tender granted
From no duty

it is a sacred place
the driver's seat of a '99 Jeep Cherokee
manning the wheel
of a two ton killing machine
a means of crossing the width of a continent
in less time than it takes
your girlfriend to *******
that same girl who gave you head
from the passenger seat
that same girl who used to occupy
the passenger seat
every night
that same seat of variable
occupying friends
(makes you wonder why its called shotgun)
from the driver's seat
you look through the only window
that maintains an ever-changing perspective
from the driver's seat
you've thought of many different things
you've said many different things
you've cried of many different things
to me anyway
the driver's seat of a '99 Jeep Cherokee is a sacred place
if you would like to explain
to me otherwise
i would be very interested
to hear why you're wrong

maybe I'm wrong
maybe he's right
maybe he's not doing
this out of spite
for he would know
since we can't see the light
and our bodies keep melting
in the midst of the night
and your voice has gone quiet
and a ***** will riot
since your voice is fading
and your mind has grown tired

I'm the one to blame
I'm the one to shoot
a distraction i've made
from a lover's point of view
but i don't mean to harm
when i take you in my room
i don't want to take the
pen away from you
but i guess i have no choice
for i have stolen your voice
it wasn't my idea
i was sick of all the noise

produced in my brain
when i think of your face
its a sickening way
for which I'm disgraced
so i will leave you alone
i will leave you tonight
i can't think of a more
romantic place or time
so goodnight my child
goodnight my moon
maybe you will
regain your voice soon
for he is right
and I am wrong
it wasn't out of spite
he saw it coming all along
and wanted what was right
and he sees in your eye
what he hears in your voice
singing line after line

but he could not keep
from mocking this boy
now i have grown tired
now i am annoyed
so goodnight my child
goodnight my moon
please find your voice again
for now i'm turning you loose

sunshine doesn't always mean warmth
love doesn't always mean worth
a heart doesn't always mean theres a soul
life doesn't always need a goal
eyes don't always mean sight
punishment never means right
whats normal might strike you as odd
sometimes theres faith without any god

my heart, its gone
its gone
she roams free
apart from me
i did not mean
to turn her loose
another heart  
set her free
shall she return,
will she know me for
my mind or body
when you find my body
do not weep
for though we are ugly,
our kiss sinks deep
the graceful ones
see right through me
but only you can say
whats trash or beauty
for you're the heart
so many long for
and now you're stuck
with me
and i wouldn't know
what for

disappear
disappear
disappear
i don't want you here
don't put me there
for you know
i have no control
you don't have to mean it
you don't have to fake it
you know that i would never know
nothing more than a means to an end
you don't want a lover, a son, or a friend
superior in grace, in sound and in beauty
a woman is never to blame, you have no duty
away from me now
you've ruined my time
but its really my fault
for your committing the crime
sickening soul
know i can't defend
you've become the means
to my meaningless end

coerced by a dream
never feared
hostility a dream once had

scale tipped subliminally
surfaced and drifted in
on a wave of the pacific ocean

the decision was dancing
back and forth, turning round
it was a waltz, 3/4 time

the party ended
chased my smoke out the door
to fade in the night

coerced by a dream
never feared
hostility a dream once had

gazing from my window
i got no wave back
counting the tears fall from my face

the beach was aggressive
as were the plains
one would win

the battle was over
i went home
back to the plains

the clock comes out swinging
i go down like a ton of bricks
struck in the face by dawn
by the heavy fist of the hour hand

it was an unfair fight
my stomach burned
hands shook
head hurt

allying time, my mind hit
with weapons of mass insomnia
my two trembling hands,
the clock flaunted three strong

it was an unfair fight
the clock hung strong
hung straight
hung high

now its come the next morning
calmly accepting my fate
time will always hold me down
but i will always be up

when you go
where will i be
where will you go
when i am no longer me

ashes to ashes
sea to sea
we'll ride the winds
for eternity

the waves crash
and wash away
the parts of us
we wish would stay

All that I am is smoldering embers of a dying fire
waiting for a wind that will pick up my flame
you are the oxygen which allows me to burn
with one gust from you i know i’ll remain

The night is now still and foresees a guaranteed storm
as i wait for the torrent i beg mercy of the stars
the stars not responding, they point me to you
so your tasseogrophy tells me, ambivalent you are

I, these smoldering embers, still wait patiently
my flame still remains a dormant bed of ash
the only truth i know is that your breath is my fate
and if that breath wont come, just tell me, i ask

I can no longer bare the silence of this impending storm
let the torrent pour in and douse my embers out
this is the end of my smoldering existence
oh how you had me burning during the drought