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Bobby Blues Apr 2014
Why am I ashamed of this?
All I want is just
a kiss.

What should I do?
To be alone with you?

O you who came out of the blue

It will be different this time
I swear...
I can hardly bear
Not seeing you here
Bobby Blues Aug 1
Don't get any closer
Love is love
It is what it is
Only the sun

(can display the sun)
Bobby Blues Feb 2016
I live, yet I do not wish for life.
I eat, yet I do not desire food.
I sleep, yet I never rest.

What am I?
Bobby Blues Sep 2016
Undiminished longing.
Like an angel: mind boggling.
And I will never be able to forget.
I put my whole soul into it, and now
I don't even know if I regret.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
Why is it so hard
being in love?

Why does it hurt
caring about someone?

Why aren't I happier
that I found you
out of all the billions
here on earth?

Why do words stop flowing
in my hollow mind
when I see you?

Why do I only find
inspiration here
in solitude?

I'm starting to feel
like Cupid's
tool.

What a fool...
Bobby Blues Jul 2014
The thing I'm best at is getting lost,
by disregarding the cost
of loving relentlessly.
Reckless naivety
is me, you see.

I'm stumbling here, going there,
hoping to catch a glimpse of you.
Just in case it would cure this blue.

But you are just nowhere near.
I'm left alone here, fighting despair.
Stuck in cliche, torn by inner conflict.
Hoping for release, like a doomed convict.

And whenever I see anyone remotely similar to you,
I think: "Could it be true? Is that really you?"
But it's just wishful thinking.
And then I realize I'm sinking
deep,
deep
down.

Down where you can't be found.

Down where even a desperate heart
doesn't make a sound.

Down where I can't hear
your shimmering voice
trough all the noise
of circumstance.

Is this called sadness,
or is it madness?

To find comfort in the rain.

To seek the source of your pain,
wanting to feel the heavy strain.

To look for meaning in misery,
not being able to let it be.

And where did my dignity go?
It must have flown right out the window...
Bobby Blues Mar 2016
It's inevitability demands its acceptance.
And it helps you take action, seeking repentance.
It is inexpressible to endure, but you come out more pure.

It is your teacher. An immediate anchor.
And a respected teacher is better than a shunned one.
So shun not pain. But carefully choose what you flee from,
and where you are heading.

Pain helps with that too!
Struggle to endure and to be true.
That is my advice to you.

After hardship there is ease.
After hardship there is ease.
And after the rain,
comes the sun :)
Speaking words of wisdom: Let it be.
Bobby Blues Dec 2014
It wasn't okay.
It didn't improve my day.
I greatly miss our parley.

And to know on top of it all: I hurt you feelings.
It makes me appalled, makes us stalled.

Foolishness manifest.
A captain on a ship called distress.
It's crew, worldly unhappiness.

My words are cheap, I know, but my heart is deep.
Perhaps that's why I find it so hard to tell you a lie.
Or to truly say goodbye.

You should know how I am by now:
Transparent as an empty bottle of white wine.
Empty from all the intoxication I tried to find,
attempting to subdue my treacherous mind.

I'm waiting for two miracles, I pray.
But unless your rivers flow my way,
do not share in my dismay.

It feels impossible to say, yet:
perhaps it was meant to be this way.
Bobby Blues Jan 2015
It feels like I'm dying.

Uh, pain.
Oh, clarity.

We are all dying.
Bobby Blues Sep 2015
There must be something seriously wrong,
to bring on something so lingering and strong:
A sad and sick song, sung from another place.

Survival seems secondary in that phase.
In this void, intensely empty space.
Where even time has a bitter taste.
Bobby Blues Nov 2015
I thought I was a rock'n'rolla.
But they were only in it for the dollar.
Keep singing about nothing, nothing to say.
Keep talking about not talking, talk-talking away.

Keep reminding us all of the scorching gore in the chests.
About being the best, be the first to pull the trigger.
About that thing getting bigger and bigger.

Nobody is going to stop you.
Until the rope reaches the ankle.
We all have to go there, at the end of the line.
Then today's pleasures will be yesterday's memories.
Empty trophies; reaching towards a mirage.
Tell me, is there anything there?
What could that be...

Maybe its tomorrow.
Maybe it was today.
Either way:

There are some consequences that never go away.
Bobby Blues Jun 2015
So one of the reasons she could never be with me,
was that I was a fool, a tool and totally not cool.
I'm a lost lover, refusing to play the game.
I'm a good boy, lame and tame.
Through and through.

But I never really got through to you, did I?
I just slowly painted myself into an icy corner.
While the floor was lava, and the ceiling caught fire.
Burning almost as brightly as my desire to be gone.
But to my great regret,

life isn't done with me yet.
Bobby Blues Mar 2019
When sweet sorrow caress, and
a thousand suns inside are extinguished,
I haggle with myself regarding death:

"Do not despair, for you will die, one day.
Just as you will be raised up,
you will sink down,
one day."

"What is pain?" the king would say.
"Even this shall pass away."
Bobby Blues Mar 2016
A true lover is proved such by his pain of heart;
No sickness is there like sickness of heart.
The lover's ailment is different from all ailments;
Love is the astrolabe of God's mysteries.

A lover may hanker after this love or that love,
But at last he is drawn to the King of love.
However much we describe and explain love,
when we fall in love we are ashamed of our words.
Explanation by the tongue makes most things clear,
but love unexplained is clearer.

When pen hasted to write.
On reaching the subject of love, it split in twain.
When the discourse touched on the matter of love,
pen was broken and paper torn.

In explaining its reason, one sticks fast as an *** in mire;
Naught but Love itself can explain love and lovers!
None but the sun can display the sun.
If you would see it displayed,
turn not away from it.

Shadows may indicate the sun's presence,
But only the sun displays the light of life.
Shadows induce slumber like evening talks,
but when the sun asrises the moon is split asunder.

In the world there is naught so wondrous as the sun,
but the sun of the soul sets not and has no yesterday.
Through the material sun is unique and single,
we can conceive similar suns like it.

But the Sun of the soul,
beyond this firmament,
no like there is seen in concrete or abstract.
Where is the room in conception for His essence,
so that similitudes of Him should be conceivable?
Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi
Bobby Blues May 2014
Do your eyes follow the stream?
I know, I heard your silent scream.

Even though you secretly thought
that nobody would.

That none would do everything
that they could
to do you good.

There is something about your eyes,
that makes me think of you as the ultimate prize.
Like the heavens in disguise.

Beautiful and fierce,
the way they pierce my soul
and leaves it warm,
yet so very cold.

It´s hard to be brave and bold,
when you look at me so innocently,
and those emeralds of your's trap me perfectly.

Oh! How I love that gaze!

Despite it turning
my mind into a maze,
with its invisible rays.

Is this too much praise?

Whatever I do, I miss you.
I just want to kiss you!

Tell me:  
How can a giver alter a river
to flow both ways?

While he's dazed, crazed
and his heart is ablaze?
It's always the eyes, innit?
Bobby Blues Mar 2016
Goodbye honeybee.

It was an honor to be by your side
even if it was just for a little while.

I hope I did you more good than harm,
and that I sounded some of your alarms.

Remember the solemn promise that you made,
because I will remember you for as long as I live.

This is not a poem, but a talking heart
that has been torn apart, bit by bit.

Goodbye O moon of my eyes, my wife in heart.
O flower of May, oh beautified one:

Goodbye.
I will always love you.
Bobby Blues Nov 2014
As the sun rises, I remain
dreaming of living again.
Hoping to move beyond the pain.
Laying with a childlike hope
of escaping this slippery *****.

I dream of waking up
to a place full of grace:
Where rivers flow both ways.
And where I get to see your face:
Glowing with happiness.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
How can typing
And writing
Heal?

How can the soul find ease
When in truth its just a tease?

To feel whole for a second
Helps, I guess

But how can one cope?

Hope?
Bobby Blues Jan 2015
But I'm grateful for feeling it.
For in truth,
what could love be
without it?
If there is nothing at stake,
there is nothing to win or to loose
.
Bobby Blues Mar 2016
Undiminished longing.
Like an angel: mind boggling.
And I will never be able to forget.
I put my whole soul into it, and now
I don't even know if I regret.

If I could just be in your presence,
one more time.
If I could just smell your hair,
one more time.
If I could just look into those eyes,
one more time...

Hopes and wishes are dangerous friends.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
There I was
Minding my own business
I was not longing for kisses
I was not a lost cause

Then you appeared
And said a kind word
My chest stirred
And I got weird

So it was done
My heart was sealed
But it wasn't revealed
Until after I lost my loved one

How strange are the workings of the heart
That what was truly good was hidden
While it was forbidden
But now I'm falling apart...

Now the feeling is off the chart
And I have a need to impart
Now I'm falling apart
And I don't feel so smart
Bobby Blues Jun 2015
I know that I was fine before it all became torn.
I was fine before this world was reborn.

I know that I was fine before.
Before skies in human eyes were devised.

I knew that I was fine before.
Before life and death started,
knocking on my door.

Not today. Please.

Do you ever listen to the sounds your head makes?
Did you ever listen for the one in the back
while you were in the black?

Don't underestimate them, dearest reader.

I knew that I was fine before.
I that was before
that I fine
no more.
Bobby Blues Mar 2016
She smelt like home.
Like a natural fragrance in full bloom.
Or like warm winds, under the full moon.

How bittersweet is the memory of worldly happiness.
Bobby Blues Jun 2014
To think that you are out there,
somewhere. Living, breathing, feeling.
Just like a normal human being.
Is hard to imagine, really.

What is it about you, anyway?
That makes me go so far astray.
Are you also just made out of clay?
Out of flesh and blood and love?

If so, then how come you have eyes
like the skies at dawn?

I've never seen those on a human before.
They raise my skin and stir my very core.

And how do you explain the blackness of your hair?
So fair, it almost sings songs of beauty sincere.

Am I the only one around here, who has noticed?

And your voice, so clean and serene.
It shrouds the air with it's pearly sheen.

Have you ever sung? Did the birds and the spirits come?

What are you?!
And what have you done to me?

Please, just return my heart.
Order your ghost to depart,
cause it's tearing me apart.
Please, show mercy.
Bobby Blues Aug 2015
I wish I could sing of no regrets,
nor of any emotional debts.
But as we kissed goodbye, the sun set,
and my heartstrings began to fret.

How am I not beset with regret?
You know, once it felt so right.
Back when I slept at night.

Your smile, so light and bright.
It outranks the world in my sight.
Then, this hopeless, helpless feeling...
It penetrates the floor through the ceiling.

Now, our shadow covers me.
And so now, we are history?

And all that I can ever be to you, is that darkness that we knew?
And this regret that I've come to grow so accustomed to? I had to.
And in my own way; In this deep blue shade: hope begins to fade.

And after the night, comes the day.
And my tears dry out on their own.
Props to Amy and Sivert.
Bobby Blues May 2014
Hollow and awake.

The numbness of the clouds
as after a great rain,
relieves me of pain.

Like the calmness of the cattle
before slaughter.

Or the comfort of red rivers
flowing into hot water.

Ah, numbness! My friend!
We meet again!
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
Why am I so sad?

Is this madness?
Wanting to be mad?

Or is this sanity,
gone terribly bad...
Bobby Blues Jan 2016
It's actually not that bad, nor truly sad.
That most worldly longing has been put
into a single well, with a beautified name.

We all long for something.
I might as well long for you.
Even though it makes me blue.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
If you don't want me:
Then please, hate me.

Throw me away,
let me go astray

But if there's hope:
I'm willing to cope,
I'l cling on to my rope.

For you I'll endure.
Because for this,
there is
No Cure.
Bobby Blues Aug 2015
So when you loose your second closest,
and that state goes briefly unnoticed:

Then why oh why?!

Is your name again spoken,
and yet again I become broken.
Bobby Blues Sep 2014
Hearing your name in my head,
sends ripples through the bed.
And for a second, I'm in a nightmare:

How did I get here?
Will I turn cold or bitter?
My body continues to jitter.

Don't forget to breathe.
Stubbornly wipe those tears,
before they flood your ears.

Just endure.
And at last,

a second will have passed.
Bobby Blues Jul 2015
Is working to lessen pain,
like working for pleasure?

Is working to lessen grief,
like working for happiness?

And, where exactly was the line?
It can´t be that far behind.

At least I don´t remember
ever stepping over it.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
If only you could see

The beauty that I see

When I lay my eyes on thee

That alone would bring me solace

That alone will give me peace.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
Some days it's hard to continue pretending

It feels never ending!

Was this an accident?

Love can seem so innocent...

Until you're in too deep
And you can no longer fall asleep

You just lay there, longing
And you keep on falling

How often I wonder...

Where does this end?
When can I no longer pretend?
Bobby Blues Aug 2014
Death in the mornings.
Repeat. Repeat.
Caught in hoops: Mental loops.
Dead end road.

Death in the mornings.
Relief. Relief?
Don't seek shelter in that:
Dead end road.

Death in the mornings.
Belief. Belief.
Have patience now: Know how.
Long straight road.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Bobby Blues May 2014
There is a burden in my chest,
refusing to let me rest.

It feels like a heavy, cold, metal ring.
It only disappears when I sing.

It's fitted tightly around my heart,
threatening to tear it apart.

I try to forget,
but I'm blocked by regret.
I helplessly call out your name.
Hoping to feel a fragment of your presence.
Foolishly seeking shelter in your remembrance.

Even though I know,
it's more a poison than a cure.
How many moments like this
do I need to endure?

When will it stop being true?
When can I see sunlight,
and not think of you?

I'm sorry to say
that everyday

gravity wins and
heartache begins.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
Fear of happiness.
Fear of distress.

Why are they so similar?
And why are you so familiar?

I won't run away,
if you tell me to stay.

I won't mind your habits,
I will love you to bits.

Please accept that you are beautiful.
And know that I am a complete fool

for you, alone.
Do you hear me moan?

And do you see me??
You have to believe me...

There is a symbol in my eyes,
wider than the skies.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
Its one of those things they never teach you
How to love someone, how to woo someone
Its treated as a phenomenon, rather than a skill
But there is skill, and timing

There has to be boldness and effort
And after all this talk of honesty
There is always an element of deceit
And you have to tell you're heart

"Sit quietly, please"

And when you're playing with hearts
Someone always falls apart
It's the most terrible part...

Why don't we show more mercy?
Why are we so full of lust and glee?
That we cannot see, someone is suffering
like we did?

How can one win, or even begin?
In a game so cruel and fledgling...

Where does sympathy end, and
Love begin?
Bobby Blues May 2014
I honestly wonder
if desire is sincere.

For while being filled up,
it always stays the same.

If nothing here satisfies me,
then how can I be from here?

Please, tell me.
Bobby Blues Oct 2016
Things replace things.
Days replace days.
Things replace things.

Run run run run run run.

And you cannot run or ever, ever escape.
You cannot run or ever hide it away.
Something glorious is about to happen:
The Reckoning
Bobby Blues Mar 2015
By the vastness of the sea I plead:
Oh flower of May, do not go away.
But sow your seed right here,
in the safety of my soft clay.
I promise, it will endure
more than a winters day.

And surely I know that the heart is a fickle thing.
It constantly desires what's beyond its reach,
and desire itself is known for its beseech.
Like the sea: Rivers may flow into it,
and rain may pour down.
Yet no true satisfaction
will ever be found
on this ground.

But it's within the glaciers of my soul I am bound to you.
And the soul is unchanging, eternal and true.
It's what gives its cup, the heart, its color.
And what gives your eyes their splendor.
And it's the might in the lion's roar.
It's the very core of our being.
It is the seeing.

But if you should come to doubt my sincerity.
Then let me share with you, my clarity:
I know that the die has been tossed,
Rubicon has already been crossed.

The door back is long lost.
Its key has been flung into a sea
whose width is like the width of life,
whose depth is like the depths of death.

And this was done at my soul's own behest.
Moreover, I was not the only doer, we were three.
But only those who can truly see will agree with me,
regarding the Vastness of the Sea.
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
To have faith
In "something" sublime
is supreme

Loving only the
Temporary
is to dream

All that we can sense
Is shifting
Is it not?

Hope and
Faith
Are not the same

What are you here for?
Fame?
That's a shame...

Love the right "things"
Surpass the boundaries
Be who you are meant

To be.
Bobby Blues Jun 2015
Oh, no, no, don't leave me alone lonely now
If you loved me how'd you never learn?
Oh, colored crimson in my eyes.
One or two or three of four.
Or five. Never enough.

Til the end it feels so rough.

Fading out again.
Fading in again.
Fading out again.

Just fading.
Bobby Blues Jul 2015
The thoughts are like bullets.
The ones that carry your name.
There are enough to continuously
entertain this sick brain like a bane.

It is all so bizarre.

Sometimes I´m in the trench,
trying to fight their clench.
But sometimes they come out of the blue,
kinda just like you, if only you knew.

The fronts are stale and the days feel pale.
My actions seem of little avail on this trail.
Besides, I can´t seem to find rest anywhere.
Maybe it´s because you are way over there.

And I am right here,
reliving an old nightmare.

Reminds me of boot camp, and crying rain.
The hours before the exam, the inexplicable pain.
Gazing eyes. Gaping smiles upon the wall.
A continuous fall, this war zone brawl.
Bobby Blues Mar 2017
Facing the life ahead,
or racing towards death instead.

Begging, screaming, steaming.

If only this life lacked true meaning...
Bobby Blues Oct 2015
And if I'm wasting my time,
then nothing could be better!
Than hanging on the line, and waiting
for an honest word forever.

And if you're saying goodbye...
Then please don't you think me bitter!
For recalling every rhyme:
From the book, the page,
the line, the word, the letter.

Well the windows turning blue.
And the waters are ever flowing!
And I hope I'm not a fool,
for laughing at myself
as you are going.
White Stripes: Wasting time (Harry Nilsson)
Bobby Blues Apr 2014
I must have told everyone but you.
Now what do I do?

Everywhere I go they smile knowingly,
and it feels like I've committed a felony.

To hide an open flame in the desert,
is easier than hiding love.

For its impossible to stay above.
And once its done, its done.
I am overcome.

All I can do now is write,
because I forgot how to fight

I feel bad for trying to get you
into this mess,
but I digress...


I love you.
Bobby Blues May 2014
Could it be true
that if you knew
how much I love you.

You would love me too?
You
Bobby Blues Jun 2015
You
your eyes thought me capable
capable of receiving your love
capable of being beautiful in your eyes

every glance of yours
every true sigh of yours
gives me undescribable feelings

feelings you made a throne for in my heart
feelings i still dont know if i deserve
feelings i still dont know the origin of

or the direction of
the little things you do

your smile when you see me
your eyes when they want to speak the unspeakable
your hands that warm me
your soul

surrounding me.

you.
thank you
for being you
-Anonymous

— The End —