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blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
We met, we smiled
Danced to the rythm of the beat,
enjoyed each others company,
What seemed to be a night that stretched into eternity came to its end.
We moved on to friendship,
Shared sentiments, dreams and ambitions
Our past lives were shared memories,
we  imagined what our future would be like,
neither one of us thought we would fall in love!
we knew the joys of sharing this magnificent feeling,
it was magical,exclusive and heart warming
this same feeling that brought us together separated us ..
I sit here and think to myself...
What is it about love that we all don't get!???
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
Behind this pretty face,
I have shed countless tears,
I have seen worse days than I could ever Imagine,
Done the forbidden,
held my head low in my despicable shame!
treated my body demeaningly,
Sat in my shadows seeking solace.
Hiding my face in fear of my own self,
Afraid of what the world would say,
the fingers that would be pointed,
I have seen darker days!
Pushing my body beyond its limits and its worth,
being heartless and ruthless not caring at all!

Behind this pretty face!
I have lived in my own shadow afraid of looking at my own reflection,
because i'm afraid of what I would see in the mirror
Desperation feeding my soul unaware of how much harm I was causing to myself,
I became a hazard to myself.
ALL Behind this pretty face!
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
Im curious!
Thats better than being defeated,
all these unanswered questions push me
I have an Adrenaline rush
I get excited seeking the answers to these questions,
Some questions seem to have no answers!
What does it feel like to be out of breath?
To see your body writhe like a flower in the desert,
To see your soul separate from your body as it goes to its  destination,
To see all these people mourn for you at your burial,
what thoughts are running through their minds as they sit there somber?
What will my soul say when I meet my maker!?
All these questions..
leave death a mystery that no one but God can solve!
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
This long walk that I take all by myself,
in this cold and dark path,
With no guide but myself,
the journey that I have began and feared
The fear of being by myself has overwhelmed me!
Will I ever complete this journey,
Two steps feel like a set back
it's as if i'm moving backwards
the anxiety of whats at the end of the path drives me!
Im motivated although i'm alone
But this is my journey that I must complete all by myself.
"You are stronger than you think " she said...
am starting to  believe her!
With my might I stride down that path
enthusiastic and anxious to claim victory!
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
I had this friend who  would cry with me when i was sad,
would hold my hand when I needed support,
Scorn me where I went wrong,
Loved me for  who I am,
Corrected all of my faults,
Encouraged me to take risks
A leap of faith..
Nurtured me into a profound lady,
Laughed at my clumsiness but still picked me up,
Celebrated with me when i was victorious,
Would go with me on my wildest ventures,
Listened to me even when I didn't make sense
But I lost this friend of mine amidst my foolishness ...
I miss u dearly!
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
If I could I would make a puzzle all about you,
I would scream your name at the peak of the highest mountain,
I would give you my full attention,
I would tell the world how much I love you,
I would sit at your doorstep throughout the night just to watch over you,
I would stay up all night watching you sleep,
I would cook your favorite meal everyday,
And make love to you like theres no tomorrow!
But I can't ...
All I can do now is love you from a distance and share your joys
I can ask God to watch over you throughout the night
I can only love u from a distance cause you aren't mine anymore. ..
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
Some times I fear I will die alone,
On a sad gloomy and rainy day
With no one to mourn at my funeral,
Each raindrop a tear I let people shed,
Now there's no more to be shed
Just my casket and the grave digger,
My body Breathless,
Out of life
unable to wake up and
make amends of where I went wrong
Unable to make my wrongs right,
Unable to reconcile with my family
the only people who loved me genuinely,
And now all that's left of me,
A bad legacy,
If only God would grant me a second chance
to change things
Be a better person!
If only the clock would rewind!
I would .....
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
You wanted my love
I gave it to you,
My attention,
You had it,
My affection,
Unconditional!
My time,
Each moment was spent unsparely!
My trust,
You had it all,
With no doubt
but it jus wasnt enough for you!
Was it?
You wanted more
Things I wouldnt offer
things you knew were out of my reach,
Things that I couldn't provide for!
I prayed that I would give the happiness you wanted
That I would provide for what you wanted
but God does things His own way..
And so my time reached
when I breathed my last breath,
I held on waiting for you,
So I would tell you,
Im sorry,
And I loved you unconditionally!
But you didn't come and I took my last in pain and shame of my failed mission!
I hope one day you realise I loved you dearly and tried my best!
I wil go and plead to my creator to look at you with merciful eyes,my dear child!
blosssomingvanie Jun 2013
I think about her a lot.
Your Next.
I wonder what  she's like.
Will she make you happy like I used to?
make you laugh so loud its heart warming?
Will she understand you like I used to?
I know Its selfish to ask
But I dont want to be replaced.
I still want to be the centre of your attention
Even though you aren't mine.
The epitome of your happiness
Your corner stone and ground.
Your spa or massage centre to lose your stress.
Your comfort pad.
I still want to be that girl.
Just dont replace me
blosssomingvanie Jun 2013
I am wounded,
Hurt,
Weak,
And vulnerable,
I have fallen to my knees
You left mi hopeless
With no insight
I try to heal my wounds
But everytime I try
I keep hurting myself more
My wounds grow deeper
Some how I feel they are rotting,decaying
I crushed so hard and now Im going to burn to ashes ..
That there wil be nothing left of mi..
But I wil rise from my ashes like a phoenix..
And I will spread my wings wide
And fly to the horizons
In awe of my rebirth....
blosssomingvanie Jun 2013
We all need redemption
We all need to be saved
But how about you and me..
I need to be redeemed
Of all the demons I av
Of all the mishaps
Of all foolishness
I want to be new
Like a newly bornbaby..
Reborn to this world
A different person
A phoenomenal lady I must say
A verse person
someone different ...
I love who I am but there are some things I would like to polish
polished like a new bar of gold..
Shining as bright as the stars
Beautiful as a butterfly
Yes I want to be redeemed
I want to wake spotless,clean and new!!
I want to scream to the world with happiness and joy
And blossom...
I want to be redeemed...
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
I want to understand you
They say girls are complicated but so are guys
Why do you keep quiet when I ask you if you are mad?
Why do you act like its ok and yet its not?
Why do you try so hard to impress me?
Why do you shun when I try to have deep talks with you?
Why do you laugh so hard with your friends and only smile with me?
Why do you make promises you know you can't fulfill?
Why don't you ever  want to finish an argument with me?
Why do you try so hard not to anger me and when  all i'm looking for is a fight!
Why are you so sweet to me at the most awkward times?
Make me understand you!
blosssomingvanie Jun 2013
I see her in the things I do.
I cant tell who this bad side belongs to.
She is a part of me and yet scares me.
She's so cold and quiet with no remorse.
Her silence is her shield, keeps her apart from the ugly world. The ruthless men out to hurt vulnerable girls.
Her body is her temple, it captivates men's attention but she uses it  wisely.
Not everyone can get to her.
Her words and speech are precise.
At times she's hurtful but she doesn't care.
Shes out to get what she wants and move on.
She's like the hit-and-run.
No one seems to understand her, neither do I.
I wonder who she is.
blosssomingvanie Jul 2013
Im the kind that loves hard,
But gets hurt so fast,
The kind that selfless
But is never appreciated,
The brave and strong one
But weak at heart,
My kind always gets it rough
And its not fair
but somehow that's how the world
Treats us,
Despises us,
Always misunderstood,
Judged at every action made,
Fingers pointed at,
And why?
Cause we are not like them,
Not like the world!
blosssomingvanie Jun 2013
Why am I still hurting
Why am I still crying myself to sleep
Why am I so sad
My whole body mourns for u
I am shattered and vulnerable and even though I have picked up whats left of me
Why am I still like this
Why!?!
Im pushing myself to move on
But im still grieving
Im still sad
Why!!??
I know there has always an answer to everything
But why cant my heart let go of you
Its the best thing to do
But why am I still holding on
Why is there a bit of me that's hopefully,optimistic,patient,persistent
why!?!?
I have so many questions that need to be answered

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