Behind this pretty face,
I have shed countless tears,
I have seen worse days than I could ever Imagine,
Done the forbidden,
held my head low in my despicable shame!
treated my body demeaningly,
Sat in my shadows seeking solace.
Hiding my face in fear of my own self,
Afraid of what the world would say,
the fingers that would be pointed,
I have seen darker days!
Pushing my body beyond its limits and its worth,
being heartless and ruthless not caring at all!

Behind this pretty face!
I have lived in my own shadow afraid of looking at my own reflection,
because i'm afraid of what I would see in the mirror
Desperation feeding my soul unaware of how much harm I was causing to myself,
I became a hazard to myself.
ALL Behind this pretty face!

I am wounded,
Hurt,
Weak,
And vulnerable,
I have fallen to my knees
You left mi hopeless
With no insight
I try to heal my wounds
But everytime I try
I keep hurting myself more
My wounds grow deeper
Some how I feel they are rotting,decaying
I crushed so hard and now Im going to burn to ashes ..
That there wil be nothing left of mi..
But I wil rise from my ashes like a phoenix..
And I will spread my wings wide
And fly to the horizons
In awe of my rebirth....

Why am I still hurting
Why am I still crying myself to sleep
Why am I so sad
My whole body mourns for u
I am shattered and vulnerable and even though I have picked up whats left of me
Why am I still like this
Why!?!
Im pushing myself to move on
But im still grieving
Im still sad
Why!!??
I know there has always an answer to everything
But why cant my heart let go of you
Its the best thing to do
But why am I still holding on
Why is there a bit of me that's hopefully,optimistic,patient,persistent
why!?!?
I have so many questions that need to be answered

I see her in the things I do.
I cant tell who this bad side belongs to.
She is a part of me and yet scares me.
She's so cold and quiet with no remorse.
Her silence is her shield, keeps her apart from the ugly world. The ruthless men out to hurt vulnerable girls.
Her body is her temple, it captivates men's attention but she uses it  wisely.
Not everyone can get to her.
Her words and speech are precise.
At times she's hurtful but she doesn't care.
Shes out to get what she wants and move on.
She's like the hit-and-run.
No one seems to understand her, neither do I.
I wonder who she is.

I think about her a lot.
Your Next.
I wonder what  she's like.
Will she make you happy like I used to?
make you laugh so loud its heart warming?
Will she understand you like I used to?
I know Its selfish to ask
But I dont want to be replaced.
I still want to be the centre of your attention
Even though you aren't mine.
The epitome of your happiness
Your corner stone and ground.
Your spa or massage centre to lose your stress.
Your comfort pad.
I still want to be that girl.
Just dont replace me