It ***** being
afraid to wake you up.
because your dreams,
are better then our reality.

You took so much of my life.
Filling me with pain and strife.
Do you care about what you do to me?
Or do you just not bother to see?
The hurt will make me stronger.
Just wait a little bit longer.
You're going to miss what we had.
Sitting there lonely and sad.
But I'll be ok.
I can make it through another day.

I feel like I am drowning
But all at the same time I'm not.
I get pulled under and
I don't know which was is up
or which way is down
and i reach for the surface
but its
not there.
but at the same time I am
standing on my feet,
without any idea of how
or what i am standing on
or how solid it is.
I am standing yet drowning.
and
drowning is so scary
I can't breath.
There is no air
around me.
my Lungs are being filled
with the water that drowns
out all my bloodied
attempts of knowledge.
but i'm not dying
I feel like I am coming back to life
I feel like i was already dead
and the drowning is bringing me back.
As if I need to swim harder,
to find who I am,
where I am going.
As I sink further into the
oblivion
that consumes my dried skin
...
you.

i keep trying to write a poem about you.
but the words just wont flow.
i think about your eyes,
the way they look into mine,
as if you know me better than i know myself.
i think about your smile,
the way it breaks my heart and makes me fall in love.
i think about your touch,
the way it sends shivers down my spine.
but none of that translates into the words i need.
i cant find the words to describe,
the way you make me feel just by breathing.
i dont need anything more than your simple presence.
if only you could jump in my head.
so, you too, could know,
the insanity that swirls through my mind when you're near.
then maybe you could get a glimpse of how you make me feel.
EVERYDAY

I lay down at night,
Lights off, music playing.
As I drift to sleep,
Thoughts of you fill my head.
All I can think of is your smile,
The way you breathe when we kiss.
Your fingertips on my skin,
Like electricity in my veins.
There are no words to describe,
Exactly how you love.
The feeling is so deep, so real,
It consumes my soul and makes me...
*Alive

there are so many things that pain my soul

and love,

is one of them.

it cuts me till i bleed

and i bleed till i am no longer

conscious of this ringing solitude in my ears

I want to go some where
where no one knows my name
no one knows my pain.
i want to be able to pretend
be someone i know im not
and no one would know
the mask i wear.

Welcome home, take a seat.
Your soul is our favorite treat.
Did you have fun up there?
In our wonderland of despair.
We set it up just for you.
Savoring things you couldn't stand through.
Your pain brought us joy.
Using your heart as our little toy.
Soon we will send you back up.
To watch our poor helpless pup.
You think you've had it bad.
The worst is soon to be had.
So take a breath,
Up next is your silent death.

The tiny specs of rich hazel.
The sweet leafy green.
The deep chocolate brown.
One look is mesmerizing.
I fall in love with you each time.
I don't need reason when you are near.
You are all that matters.

But I've come to realize the lies.
I have began to feel the pain.
My forest of dreams burns slow.
You set fire to my trees.
You've stomped out my roots.
The wonders of our love die.
Leaving nothing but charred remains.

My tears flow without end.
Yet not enough to put out these fires.
I gave you my black heart.
For some time you made it new.
But now my heart returns to black .
This rose begins to bleed.
Turning from a crimson red to a black hole.

Nothing is left.

I know what you are doing.
I know you want to get in my head.
You say you want to talk tomorrow.
I'll listen to what you have to say.
But I wont dwell on tomorrow.
I wont dwell on what if.
I will not lose sleep over you.
You don't win.

You built me up.
You got me a ring.
Promises of forever.
But your love was a lie.

You left me broken down.
You went to someone else.
And now you want to come back.
What more could you take from me?

I don't want to hear more lies.
I don't want to be hurt.
But I know my heart will run back.
Only to break once more.