there are so many things that pain my soul

and love,

is one of them.

it cuts me till i bleed

and i bleed till i am no longer

conscious of this ringing solitude in my ears

I feel like I am drowning
But all at the same time I'm not.
I get pulled under and
I don't know which was is up
or which way is down
and i reach for the surface
but its
not there.
but at the same time I am
standing on my feet,
without any idea of how
or what i am standing on
or how solid it is.
I am standing yet drowning.
and
drowning is so scary
I can't breath.
There is no air
around me.
my Lungs are being filled
with the water that drowns
out all my bloodied
attempts of knowledge.
but i'm not dying
I feel like I am coming back to life
I feel like i was already dead
and the drowning is bringing me back.
As if I need to swim harder,
to find who I am,
where I am going.
As I sink further into the
oblivion
that consumes my dried skin
...
you.

I lay down at night,
Lights off, music playing.
As I drift to sleep,
Thoughts of you fill my head.
All I can think of is your smile,
The way you breathe when we kiss.
Your fingertips on my skin,
Like electricity in my veins.
There are no words to describe,
Exactly how you love.
The feeling is so deep, so real,
It consumes my soul and makes me...
*Alive

I want to go some where
where no one knows my name
no one knows my pain.
i want to be able to pretend
be someone i know im not
and no one would know
the mask i wear.