I did something horrible yesterday
I̶t̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶h̶o̶r̶r̶i̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶
I feel absolutely horrible
I̶̶̶ ̶̶̶d̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶'̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶f̶̶̶e̶̶̶e̶̶̶l̶̶̶ ̶̶̶b̶̶̶a̶̶̶d̶̶̶ ̶̶̶a̶̶̶b̶̶̶o̶̶̶u̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶o̶̶̶u̶̶̶g̶̶̶h̶̶̶
I broke a boys heart yesterday

He said he love me
I̶t̶ ̶h̶o̶n̶e̶s̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶
He asked me to move out of state to be with him
I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶
He was being very clingy
I̶'̶m̶ ̶u̶s̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶r̶o̶m̶a̶n̶t̶i̶c̶ ̶

I couldn't help but feel guilty when he said he loved me
I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶
My heart doesn't belong to me anymore
Y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶

So to you
The dear boy whose heart I broke
I am so very sorry

I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶
W̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶r̶a̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶̶
I̶ ̶t̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶
T̶o̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶?̶

If ever you have some spear time you should listen to these songs.

Oceans by Seafret
W̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶e̶m̶o̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶
̶U̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶f̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶
B̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶o̶c̶e̶a̶n̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶w̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶

Guillotine by Jon Bellion
T̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶c̶r̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶e̶
̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶
̶T̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶b̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶s̶e̶t̶,̶ ̶
B̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶
I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶
̶E̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶ ̶ ̶

All Time Low by Jon Bellion
N̶o̶w̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶h̶o̶s̶t̶
̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶n̶a̶m̶e̶
̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶m̶e̶

We were messed up kids
With messed up families
Who desperately needed someone who cared
We were addicts
Just as bad as the people who raised us
But we were addicted to each other
The attention, the need
We loved each other
But hated ourselves
That's why it worked so well

We had a secret club houses
Deep in the woods
Where no one would find us
Make believe worlds
Held together with shoe strings and branches
Curfew was something we never listened to
Because being together was way better than
Being home.

I miss being a little kid
Running threw those woods
Holding on to sweaty hands
Going to get snacks with food stamps
Never wanting to be home
I miss my life as it was
Gardens growing out of plastic blue bins
Little sisters being annoying
Best friends who never left my side
Friends I never thought I’d lose.

I’m happy that I have these memories
Because life couldn’t continue the way it was
12 years olds out till 1 am
Parents who didn’t care
Self harm and depression that increased daily
Relationships broken and people lost.

I’m older now and life goes on
Even now that I have none of them at my side
I still love them and wish for the days that felt
Like they’d never end.

Writing poetry
Physically writing it down
Gives me a satisfaction I
Wouldn't get from typing

These words
Bleed across the page
Like watercolor paint
Going all the way
To the edge

These feelings
Are like water
Diluted with acrylic paint
Clouded

I am like
Watercolor paint
Easy to move and
Touch my color with
Another and I will let
It bleed into me
Making a beautiful mess

I am a mess
Of colors
Pinks greens and blues
Bleeding into another

I am a mess of emotions

I rarely have long conversations
I want to talk for hours about all the things I love
But the last time I did
It didn't go so well
I want someone to care about all the weird
Things that I talk about.

I want to have long conversations
About life and what happens after we die
About poetry and art
About love and heartache
About how it feels to be yourself around someone
When you barely no them.

The conversations I've had with complete strangers
Happen to be the best ones
To talk about the little things about yourself
To talk about the things they know nothing about
When you can tell the complete and total truth
And no one judges you because they secretly know
Exactly how you feel.

I want to have long conversations
I don't care who there with
Just someone who will listen.

Laughter is the best medicine
Today I certainly agree
It feels good to laugh
It feels good to smile
It feels good to be doing
Something that doesn't
Involve something sad
Oh the world is great
When your writing
Poetry about laughter