To see you is to witness death

a symbol of an end

but there are smiles in my coffee

to keep the ice away

walking into view

god is pushed aside

you are the headlights

I the deer

but god wasn’t there to save me

in the first place

those smiles are persistent though

serendipity wakes the dead

people are capable of giving so much
in care
love
or simply time

but what do you give
except for a cold space
in the hearts of those
unfortunate enough to meet you

i am no mans judge
however i know i have been used
and for that you are guilty

tread lightly old lover
there are less stable minds
in some fish

both heaven and hell surround me
coexisting in my kingdom
the throne sits full
of false idols and imagined gods
the true king bows down
or runs from his own authority
i blindly pray to him
and make offering
he is indecisive
and insincere
unknowing and powerless
for all his shortcomings
there still is not one more fit to lead

put the kettle on
light up another cigarette
drop the tea in
light up another
grab a second cup
light up
write a little
light
keep writing
light

it might be a long night
but they all are

And one day all the screams

of all the souls you have put through hell

just might catch up to you

and shatter your fragile ears

maybe then when you wake up

day after day

tortured by all the mistakes you have made

and all the lives you have poisoned

you will know how it feels to be me

your own antagonist

just once please tell me that you get it

so I can move on

and not feel like I poisoned myself

that it really was you all along

cloudy days
sunny days
both fine
in their own right

but to me
the sun is a bit blinding
i am most comforted
by clouds hanging overhead

i'd rather try all the doors
and find some locked
than miss the open ones
out of fear

sometimes i traipse around
fishing
for false love and compliments
avoiding sincerity

but even the ugliest people
can be full of pretty words

even a dull razor cuts
but a wet match won't light
the birds will return in the spring
and be gone by october
the point is
we all want to be understood
but poets muddy the water
with beautiful
but needless metaphors
maybe it is difficult
to see what i mean
maybe i like it that way

never heard
are the loudest screams

in the end
it comes down
to wasted time
long nights
sweet whispers
soft lips

it all comes down

stop throwing logs in
and the fire might go out

A lie is powerful
simple
short
A single false word
can bring minds
to the edge of insanity
But nobody thinks of the damage
their lie will do
until it has infected the world
It's so easy
to put a yes
in the place of a no
or vice versa
But the sun will rise
whether you ever speak the truth
or not

I will ask, but I dare not speak;
for to hear my own words would break me.
Where I cannot go I send my heart;
and in those places he finds not
what the soul seeks.
As the lofty dreamer leaps out into the grey hazed dusk
I call after him; to cry out for his safe return.

Treading the black waters of the devil's sea
called resentment, he spites me as the tow drags him down.
If ever he should return, another request
like this I will not make.
Treasure unfound is not worth
the loss of the heart.

I must ask, and be shattered
by my plea.

like smoke
you can fill a room
and be gone just as quickly
all you need is a way out
but you won't find your way back into this room
the guys upstairs got tired of the door slamming
so they locked it
i would let you back in
if i thought you might stay
just for a little while
but you never do
in and out
like the burger joint
fast food love
you must like it
knowing that someone
somewhere
is hung up on you
a sorry excuse for a person
i feel like i'm wasting ink
because one day you'll use it all up
and words can't go as far as thoughts

i'll catch the next bus
i don't want to breathe you in

on a beautiful clear day i can feel it
with not a cloud in the sky i can hear it
even indoors i can taste it
the presence of the cool wet untamed atmosphere
the maelstrom that is the pouring storm in my depths
the drops that fall from my thoughts to my tongue
the life water of a single mind in the sea of the universe
a pitter pattering symphony that i write for myself
you would not understand if i could play it for you
never calm never kind never stopping *nevermind

no end in sight
thoughts like tides
the eternal night

i am a broken watch
in a sea of ticking clocks
right twice a day

but whats the point
in being right at all?

Peeling myself
from the covers of a bed
and going
into the cold
dark morning,
I light the cigarette
put on the coffee
and wonder
which is worse
forcing myself
out of the soft bed
against sweet whispers
from the pillows
or the long nights
during which the whispers
are not so sweet

But then
I remember
the days in between

day to day
long stretches of boring
in between the good things

we live our lives waiting
on the next something
anything

and it comes
and goes just as easily
again we wait
on the next anything

i do not know what i live for
but it is not
cold mornings
sad goodbyes
or lonely nights
maybe those things pick us

i don't mind hanging in the balance
as long as i can see you there

i sat down

not quite close enough

to your body one seat over

i have no sanity left to lose

but our arms brushed past one another

and i lost something

years

full of bright days

and warm nights

gone

my words are darker than they once were

but you had my lips then

and i might easily give them back

because i know you ought to hate me

and when words fall short

people break

somewhere in between  
my thoughts and mouth
there is a
very
*****
filter
but no such exists
between thoughts
and this blank page

you could call me insane
obsessive
or worse things i suppose
and you might be right

but you will never know me
half as well as you could