no end in sight
thoughts like tides
the eternal night

i am a broken watch
in a sea of ticking clocks
right twice a day

but whats the point
in being right at all?

Peeling myself
from the covers of a bed
and going
into the cold
dark morning,
I light the cigarette
put on the coffee
and wonder
which is worse
forcing myself
out of the soft bed
against sweet whispers
from the pillows
or the long nights
during which the whispers
are not so sweet

But then
I remember
the days in between

somewhere in between  
my thoughts and mouth
there is a
very
*****
filter
but no such exists
between thoughts
and this blank page

you could call me insane
obsessive
or worse things i suppose
and you might be right

but you will never know me
half as well as you could

cloudy days
sunny days
both fine
in their own right

but to me
the sun is a bit blinding
i am most comforted
by clouds hanging overhead

i'd rather try all the doors
and find some locked
than miss the open ones
out of fear

sometimes i traipse around
fishing
for false love and compliments
avoiding sincerity

but even the ugliest people
can be full of pretty words

To see you is to witness death

a symbol of an end

but there are smiles in my coffee

to keep the ice away

walking into view

god is pushed aside

you are the headlights

I the deer

but god wasn’t there to save me

in the first place

those smiles are persistent though

serendipity wakes the dead

And one day all the screams

of all the souls you have put through hell

just might catch up to you

and shatter your fragile ears

maybe then when you wake up

day after day

tortured by all the mistakes you have made

and all the lives you have poisoned

you will know how it feels to be me

your own antagonist

just once please tell me that you get it

so I can move on

and not feel like I poisoned myself

that it really was you all along

i sat down

not quite close enough

to your body one seat over

i have no sanity left to lose

but our arms brushed past one another

and i lost something

years

full of bright days

and warm nights

gone

my words are darker than they once were

but you had my lips then

and i might easily give them back

because i know you ought to hate me

and when words fall short

people break