green mud puddles spill over
unto the salt water
tiny ripples spread about like
looking for a place to go
then disappear with each current
each drop makes the water rise
up,up
untill its drowning my eyes
my body and the lies
washing away the internal cries
of the lost internal child.

The little girl hummed the tune over and over
to give hope to the gray room
the sun peaking finally through the blinds
she kept the tune in her mind
her eyes were heaving from moisture and no sleep
the prayer stone imprinted in her hand
giving up control the things she didn't understand
what the little girl didnt comprehend
why this kept happening again and again
when her mom turned into someone else
she felt panic that she may never come back
but just like before she hymned some more
and waited for the dark room turn gray
waited for her mom to moan her name
from the other side of the door
and so just like before
she lay beside her and she hymned some more
“Jesus loves me yes I know, for the bible tells me so”
until they both were in a drunken slumber
no more praying. no more humming...

is the pure desire
that sets that soul of love on fire
and hums to the tune of gathered hearts beating
keeps on going, always repeating

and truest-in the song-is listened
and still waiting for dry tears to glisten
that should tear many of souls
that kept waiting in the cold

ive listened in the coldest land
and desired in the sea of sand
yet, always beyond proximity
i asked a question- please love me?

24 redlines across my arm
Safe from pain free from harm
Slowly it seeps out the pain
Let it drain, to keep me sane
12 drops of heaven on the closet floor
I find my weapon and lock the door
Sorry god, just one more slice
Make it deep. forget the price
6 seconds of internal screaming
Praying to the lord some one can hear me
Silence is now my only friend
No more waiting till I can dice again

Leaning against the metal cold door
Nailed shut
Bang, bang
In it goes
Each entry cracks the heart
Heals the
soul
Making the feet grow
Cold
Here I am
In front of the
Entrance
That used to make up my
Existence
No Turing back
Doorknob is
Useless
Loving you was meaningfully
Fruitless
No knocking on the other end
All is quiet
Finally Time to mend
Against
The door nailed shut