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Feb 2015 · 413
A Letter Home
Some say
Home isn’t a place
May be they’re right
Or maybe they aren’t
I really don’t know
But right now
Cooped up in this ***** little two feet bathroom stall
With the sweat gluing our bodies together
The sweat that keeps pouring out in buckets
As you try to put my hands in places
Where  I don’t want to put them
Right now, as I cling desperately to you
To change the colour of your eyes
Right now, this is home
This ***** little two feet bathroom stall
Where there is nothing but two people
Two people who just can’t seem to keep their hands off each other
And every time you try to put my hands in places
Where I don’t want to put them
I wish
I so fervently wish
That I knew what I was wishing for
We touch
And kiss
And feel each other in so many ways
That at the end of it all
We don’t have anywhere to touch but our hearts
For some reason we never get there
And I can’t say that I’m sorry
But I can’t say that I’m not sorry either
If my body was me
Then you would love me
But the thing that I want to know most
Even more than how to fly
Is if God suddenly changed his mind about my face
About my nose, my lips and my little brown *******
That you seem to like so much
If God suddenly changed his mind about my flesh
Then would the dingy two feet bathroom stall still be home?
And would you still try to put my hands
In places where I don’t want to put them?
And would I still want to change the colour of your eyes
More than anything else in the world?
I would like to think that I would
May 2014 · 429
Floating
Sometimes it’s okay to float on the surface of things
It’s okay to pig out on ice cream and watch chick flicks that you know you won’t think twice about once they’re over.
It’s okay to scream the loudest at a rock concert
when some part of you longs to hear Mozart’s soothing strains again
It’s okay to smile at someone randomly, even though you know you’ll probably
Never see them again in your life
It’s okay to spend hours lost
With only thoughts, dreams and precious memories keeping you company
It’s okay to not have any trust to give out
It’s okay to be a little selfish and tell people
That you just can’t handle hearing about their problems at the moment
It’s okay to call up an old friend you haven’t spoken to in years
And cry your heartstrings dry
It’s okay to stop calling someone who meant the world to you
Simple because you can’t deal with having an emotional trip
Every time you hear their voice
It’s okay not to feel anything
When you hear a song you used to love play on the radio
It’s okay not to have things to write about
Unless they’ve been assigned as homework
It’s okay to wear ratty t-shirts and worn jeans
And put on a little weight that some people think looks good on you
Because frankly speaking, you couldn’t care less
It’s okay to not be perpetually chirpy
When inside, you feel numb every moment
Sometimes it’s okay to just be that girl
Even though the truth is
You’re so much more than that
Sometimes
It’s the only way to live
// one of those things when you don't really know if you're really the one writing it
Apr 2014 · 317
Words
People say that sticks and stones
May break your bones
But words can never hurt you
It's a lie
A **** ****** lie
Words are the worst things
Ever invented by mankind
They can breaks you
Into such minute particles
That are virtually impossible to reassemble
They can make you feel
Like there is no point to life
Words can manifest never ending tears
That flow in such copious amounts
That you never knew existed within you
In short, words can damage you
In irreversible ways
Words
I just hate them
Apr 2014 · 377
The Train
I hear the train in the distance
The clank of metal speech
Grazing over roads that have known better days
I hear the rasping cries of the conductor
As he calls out the names of places
Places where I might or might not want to be
I hear the whistle, a knife through the air
I hear the train in the distance
And I close my eyes
Trying so hard to forget all those treasures
All those picayune sparkles
That used to be everything for me
Keeping up my endeavour
To forget everything
But the train in the distance
I stand
With a smile that’s been there
Just there
For so long
That it’s ancient with the lines of stagnancy
I stand
And just like always
I do the right thing
Even if it might not be
The right thing for me
// Heartstrings once broken can never be put back together again
Apr 2014 · 716
Lonely
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowd?
I have
Believe me, it's not a nice feeling
Everyone is standing all around you
With joyful smiles pasted on their faces
And then, BOOM!
Suddenly, you're all alone
Now don't get me wrong
It's not like I fear solitude
Sometimes it feels wonderful
To be all alone
With only your thoughts and dreams
As faithful companions
But being alone doesn't translate
To being lonely
And when it does
You know you've got a problem
Tomorrow when the world is supposedly going to end
All those pseudo comrades
Will separate out into iron bound clusters
Unbreakable in their nature
But, there will be one person
Left without a place to stand
A hand to hold
An embrace to return
No prizes for guessing this one folks
May this is a temporary condition
May be my number just isn't up
In this country
Which is supposed to be my motherland
But seldom feels like it
May be God has so many wishes to grant
That he just forgot about mine
May be it's not my fault
And things will be different someday
May be there are people on this earth
Who feel just the same way
May be, just may be
Loneliness doesn't last forever
Written on the day before the world was supposed to end as we know it.....
Apr 2014 · 913
He Fell From The Sky
He fell from the sky
I wasn’t looking for anything but solitude
But he fell from the sky
And refused to let me out of his sight
He refused to let me cry my silent tears
Wrapping my misery in balloons
And letting his fingers fall away
Watching as they soared up high into oblivion someday
For him life wasn’t a word
But a song to be sung everyday
In new and everlasting ways
Plucking my heartstrings as he strummed his way
Into my broken and mangled life
Where nothing ever seemed to play
The right notes of the day
He ****** out all the bad dreams
And breathed in hope of a new life
Filled with things that may or may not happen
He taught me how to smile again
With my favourite dimple peeking out
When I screamed and ranted
About things beyond his control
He kissed me
And suddenly
If only for a moment
I felt like what I felt mattered
I felt like my poems were good
Really good
So good that may be someone else
Might want to read them one day
Someone else who doesn’t have someone like him
He fell from the sky
And taught me how to let everything go
Not for others
But for myself
He showed me what music looks like
He made me realize
That I do want forever
No matter how much I said I didn’t
He fell from the sky
And I don’t think I’ll ever be the same any more
For the person beyond special who made me realize what iris meant
Apr 2014 · 652
The Heart Always Remembers
The music plays incessantly
The book lies open in front of my eyes
All around
The peaceful feeling that always comes
With the end of a day
Wraps around me like a patchwork quilt
That changes colours at frequent intervals
The book lies open in front of my eyes
But all I can think of is you
I close my eyes
And I see your face
I see every facet of the face
That grows dearer to me
With every passing hour
I close my eyes
And I feel like I can almost feel the taste of your lips on mine
But when I reach out to pull you close
You disappear
And I am lost yet again
In the oceans of oblivion
I swim vociferously
Desperately trying to find my way back to you
Because somewhere deep down inside of me
I know
That no matter what island I finally land on
You will be there waiting
With your arms wide open
My heart finds strength with this knowledge
And I keep you in my heart always
For the mind may forget
But the heart always remembers..
Apr 2014 · 355
A Pair of Hands
To me love once was
A parade of all good things
A joyous and triumphant parade of having the liberty
To spend hours and hours just gazing into the eyes
That  seem to hold all the charms of the world
But today I feel that love
Is merely a pair of hands
Beautiful hands, mark my words
For anything and everything related to love
Will forever be coined as beautiful in my heart
A pair of hands that stretch us lovers to the epitome
And each day that final point
Travels just a bit farther
Until one day when we look back at where we were
It seems as if an endless road separates the two
But the weirdest part
Is that during this ceaseless stretching exercise
Our hearts find difficulty in comprehending
Whether we feel good about it or not
And in my heart I know
It is this middle emotion
That the world names as love
*A reminder that love makes people strong, strong enough to battle any oddball that life throws*
Apr 2014 · 282
The Sounds
It’s a wonderful thing being alive
That feeling that accompanies unperturbed growth
That resonates with the sounds of the soul
The sounds we hear when we shut out everything but the one within
Sometimes I think I would like to sit on a mountain top
Just listening to that silencing sound
Letting its various tones and pitches seep through every pore of my flesh
Until at last it embeds itself deep within my heart strings
So that I may listen to it again someday when the nights are cold
And the skies are darks
And the familiar hand is not there to hold
On that day, I will hear the sounds again
Echoing with the knowledge of everything that is true
Pulsating with a reminder that life is worth living
Simply for the sake for its existence
For the sake of the reality it forces us to embrace
For the sake of the humanity it has created over the eons of time
And on that day
When feeling triumphs over logic and reason if but for a second
I will be okay
If but for a second.......
Apr 2014 · 493
The Day
I think about the day it will end
The day I’ll wake up in the morning
And calling you won’t be the first thing on my mind
The day I’ll listen to some beloved melody
And your face
So well known that it could have been my own
Won’t be the dominating presence that I can’t ever leave behind
The day when I’ll dream of going to Venice
And you won’t be in the gondola holding my hand
The day I eat a Popsicle
And you won’t be there to see the stick hanging out
The day someone gives me a rose
And I won’t throw it back at them
The day I cry my heartstrings dry
And I won’t tell you
The day that I’ll be able to listen to love songs again
The day I will be able to look at humanity
And feel like it deserves to exist
Feb 2014 · 374
Yesterday
She's writing at the wooden desk
Filling the page with her words
Pouring her heart out into the delicate crease
She writes about her love
That flowed from first sight
She writes of her sorrow
Her pain, the confusion
That never lingers far from her
After she met him
She writes of how she wants answers
To the numerous questions she has
She writes of her plea
To get what she thinks she deserves
She finishes writing
And seals it with a kiss
She walks towards the classroom door
Ready to deliver what she has penned
Without any thought of tomorrow
Without any thought
Of what might happen
Only thinking of the joy
She feels is not far away
I want to stop her
I want to pull her away from that cursed door
Make her sit down
And listen to my words
I want to tell her
That she has it all wrong
That she's making a big mistake
That he isn't the guy she thinks he is
I want to show her
What she will have to face next year
I want to make her feel the anguish
That will come only hours later
But I can do nothing but watch
That naive little girl
That I once lived in
The body I once possessed
But have now left behind forever
So I say
"Do your worst"
"Send your letter"
"Dream those dreams"
"That will never come true"
I have what it takes
To deal with what comes with it
I live in a world of many colors
Of many sounds
And many names
Where people seem to care
But turn out to be the same
I live in a world difficult to tame

I live in a world of pseudo equality
Where declarations are plentiful
But work remains unchanged
Where harsh words take but a second to say
But the impact lasts for many days
I live in a world confused and deranged

I live in a world plunged into darkness
Who boast of immense openness
But remain rigid as rocks
Where nuances are seen and heard with pretences of interest
But internally cast aside with scorn
I live in a world of trickery and false talk

I live in a world of schemes and conspiracies
Where happiness is transformed to hatred without a backward glance
Where creatures with human names
Lead lives devoid of love
I live in a world offering no second chances

I live in a world where only miracles can occur
Where brilliance blossoms desperately like the tired asphalt flowers
Where specks of gold reside among hearts carved out of iron
I live in a world moulting within the hour

I live in a world of imperfect delights
Where wields to satiate one's moaning stomach
Overpower pleas to fill one's grieving soul
Where cosmopolitan societies
Shape answer-seeking personalities
I live in a world, incomplete but whole

I live in a world triggered by cataclysm
Where earth-shaking catapults are inspired
By steadfast truth that still exists
Where the written word still provides more solace
Than any gruesome battle
I live in a world where happiness persists

I live in a world of humanity
Where blood flows rich with eternal adventure and free thought
Where life and death is but a transition
I live in a world of eternal love and change
Feb 2014 · 1.8k
Our Cottage By The Sea
Sometimes
When words of the flesh
Cease to prevent the sound of silence
From resonating in my soul
I dream of a cottage
A little cottage by the sea
With rose vines lingering on the walls
And a garden filled to the brim
With daffodils, tulips and daisies
With a little piano
Whose sweet strains
Fill many a winter’s night with unbound pleasure
I dream of days filled with footloose and fancy free frolicking
Exploring new places
Trying new things
Adding more snapshots to the memory shelf
Each day ending with the joy of falling asleep in each other’s arms
I dream of waking up to the sound of your heartbeat
The most significant sound in my world
I dream of hours spent curled up next to you
Simply listening to your voice
A voice more dear to me
Than any beloved melody
I dream of lingering smiles
Of walking down golden lanes
With the rain pouring down our faces
Of growing old together
Like the beautiful leaves
Of a Canadian autumn
I dream of never ever having to say good bye
Just you and me
In our cottage by the sea.....
Feb 2014 · 314
Promises
Promises are just another fancy way to say “I love you”
Humanity tends to come up with things
When life isn’t the multicoloured something new every day affair
That we all want it to be
And promises are just one of them
When I say “I promise to love you forever”
It’s simply me saying
I’ll be around when you need me
When friends just can’t seem to be found
When the world seems like a dark and empty place
When I say “I promise to never make you cry”
It’s really just me saying
You mean the world to me
Your sorrow is something
That even my dreams just can’t seem to perceive
When I say “ I promise to hug you and kiss you every day”
It’s just me saying
When you are around me
I can’t keep my eyes and hands off you
When I say “I promise to go places
Like Venice
Or the tunnel of love
With you someday”
It’s only me saying
I wouldn’t even want to go to those places
Unless I was holding your hand
And when I say” I promise to let you go
With a smile on my face
If that is what you want”
It’s me saying
Your happiness is a hundred times more important than mine
So you see
Promises are not really that big of a deal
They just express the truth
For Ani

— The End —