Billo

Billo Dec 2014

I'd rather not hear my own talk of hallowness
echo back at, around, and inside me,
but worse is to witness it hurting you -
'It'? Not the talk, but the topic.
And 'worse'?
This dejection can strip my self-worth
- but I'm used to the lack of attention.

So yes, when my mind feels ejected from my body,
when I need to sleep or hide some other way
from what's inside me,
I vacate myself in ways that may desert you
for a while.

I'll just ask that you be patient.
I'm sorry and I'm not;
you deserve a whole,
and I've got to
not be a hole

I've been thinking about R&D; -
the latter for you, the former for me
(vice versa, or neither
...or both)

...alternatively the last line can be read "not be AN a hole"

Billo Nov 2014

Contrast

Maybe many moments
of mania have made me
a candidate
for keeping
things I say
to myself.

I'm used to drinking coffee in valleys,
watching mountaineers walk by

Billo Nov 2014

Allowed/Aloud

[I am asked if I'd like to go for a walk,]

Speaking freely & feeling speechless
aren't really distinguishable.
                  - One languishes with language
                  full of angst (or even anguish) -

[ while, sandwich in hand, I sit on the floor of the kitchen, ]

Liberally flaming the fires of self-blame
creates pain inextinguishable.
                    - Cough up money often
                    to soften up your coffin -

[  The toaster-oven's timer ticks.  ]

'til the illness is cured, I'll endure symptoms, sure;
This sick still feels relinquish-able.
                    - I'd be remiss to admit
                      that I'd sooner just quit -

[    Let me sit for a while, then we'll go    ]

Up at their table they eat tomorrow's breakfast,
down here I stare at yesterday's lunch

Billo Sep 2014

Misappropriate

I'm yours
and those words
force your face
into a stern look
replacing that which
took me into my amorous frame of mind
in the first place,

now tersely you ask yourself
you're mine?
in the worst way imaginable,
the beginning of decline.

Billo May 2014

Hermitage

Inside me resides the pit of a peach.
Fleshy, lovely fuzziness
beseeched me to eat,
so I leeched it's nutritiousness -
assiduous, acidulous me.

Billo Apr 2014

The Skittish Play

An angry young boy,
when pressed with the task
of describing Macbeth's tragic flaw,
simply asked,
*well, wasn't it loving his wife?

Cowardly hearts can find all kinds of armour

Billo Dec 2013

Brush twice daily

Too meek to speak of weakness,
he just grins and bears his teeth.