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Aug 2017 · 284
The killing
BigNose Aug 2017
Hands are shaking,my brain is crying about the lost of my live!
The blood is pumping bitter sweet tears tru my body. Why them hit me and never leaving. That demons which are whispering and lieing tru the world....

Start to feel the death with every breath I take, no one understand the pain. Taking my own live in the hands,my hands are getting close feel the cold metal! My thoughts are flying in the past....

I start to look down there is a dark room, there is pain, there is violence, there is a child which is crying and screaming. That's me.
When alone dreaming of a future without hurting....

Flying along the years there is pain, there is hate, there are lies there are enemy's which are friends! There is a wall of drugs keeping all that stuff away...building up a net against the past.

There is sun, there is a screaming there are blue eyes which are taking my finger,the heart starts to work feeling love. There is yust that one there is a goal.  The cut strikes back again...

There is darkness,there is a honest heart fighting tru the pain,fighting tru the madness! There is the devil which are trying to drive me into the death!

Feeling the taste of metal...
Feeling tears on my skin...
My fingers still m.......
Aug 2017 · 201
Thoughts
BigNose Aug 2017
Bitter Sweet darkness

Sadness comes with every breath
The air deeply pushes in my lungs.
The eyes are getting closed
The cold feeling of emptiness

coming strait in my mind.

The feeling of enjoying life left my mind with every breath I take.
The warm blood in my venes are pumping true my heart.
I absorb the darkness

thinking about the situation.

My willing to step in the Light
Made the energies changing.
It's like you switching on a lamp and the light gets brighter with every second.

The conscience start to wake up

The reality strikes back, emptiness seems to give answeres.
The mind starts to observe and you see the world with different eyes.
Violence and  harassment getting blocked by natural walls.

The bittersweet wish for revenge

Looking for Loyality and honesty,
,no rescue yust  constrains and wrong believing to wrong bad liars!
My punishment the worst for man!And the losing of a dream tru lies!

Why me... why should I die?!?
Aug 2017 · 260
The deep blue
BigNose Aug 2017
One look ,deeply I lost my self in the blue and I dive in and start to fly in the thoughts.

Feeling like a feather in the wind or an eagle in a storm.
Emotions hitting hard but there is no reaction anymore, hard to find a place in live!

I'm still dead , feeling yust love for the one,my blood,my heritage no other feelings everything is killed.
The pain about the punishment which still ruins my life twice.

The desire hard to reach,the run for cheap sin nothing is real and honest. Words get twisted and used against you and you dying slowly from inside.

Then you coming out of the deep blue...your eyes are getting opened..there is one tear.....
Jan 2017 · 557
Gesellschaftlich lieb sein
BigNose Jan 2017
Gesellschaftlich(e) Lieb(e) Sein

Der Zwang der Gesellschaft welcher das vermittelnde Gefühl von materieller Freude belohnt

Der Grad der Zuneigung wird im Preis gemessen und eine Erwartungshaltung stuft diese Zuneigung dann ein...auch ich war gefangen in diesem Kreislauf der(s) Gesellschaftlichen Lieb(e) sein(s)


Du verschenkst LouiV oder teure Elektronik nur um diese Stufe der Zuneigung zu stemmen und die materialistische Liebe zu erwecken.

Ein danke aus der tiefsten verwurzelten Ebene des gesellschaftlich angetriebenem
Muskels

Doch irgendwann kommt der Moment und die Erkenntnis des ehrlichen Verstehens und Denkens.. Klare Emotionen geführt, frei von gesellschaftlich(er) Lieb(e) sein
Jan 2017 · 257
Steps out of the dark
BigNose Jan 2017
Touching the light isn´t so easy
there are Chains from the dark which are grapping your Mind
leaving the drugs and all the bad things

IN YOUR MIND

that you could start a new way of thinking and being

AS A NEW PERSON

take the steps to some new live and trying to find
a clear and free consciousness

WITH A HONEST HEART

Seeing the truth and the strings to the dark then
close your eyes and try to terminate all bad thoughts and

OPEN YOUR SOUL

Start to think about the world and all the badness
with all the people´s which are getting hurted and how you could

H E L P

— The End —