Have you ever felt that?
Written words are all I have
So many thoughts in my head
Expressing them is all I needed

I am glad I found this
Through this, I can say things
Things that my mouth can't say
I'm ready to write every day

Got up early
  To roam around the city
  Different faces is all I see
  But they all have the same aura to me

They are women with fears
  On their faces are invisible tears
  Kind of tired of worrying
  And pulling the strings
  They want the best for their loved ones
  And keep them in a snug house

Behind the smiles
  Are hearts that are fragile
  Brave on the outside
  With all the anxieties they hide
  Loving and caring are their styles
  It's rare to see what's inside

They're ready for any battle
  Though they appear gentle
  Babies are indeed angels
  But aren't our mothers as well?
  We run to them when in need of help
  With things that are big or little

They get tired
  But doesn't mean they don't want this life
  They in fact pray for longer lives
  Scared of leaving us behind
  Full of unconditional love
  They ask God for the best for us

Love tangled with fears
  Thoughts we cannot hear
  They all exist for real
  Despite the love they show and feel
  I guess they come hand in hand
  Far beyond what we can understand

At times, they seem controlling
  And to the point of being irritating
  But they're the first to get proud
  Everytime we perform in the crowd
  I see both joy and sacrifice
  Shining bright at sunrise

The show must go on
Same goes for their situation
They wish there's a break too
Just a few minutes will do
And they're back on track again
Like how rain comes to an end

I am used to seeing happy faces
  But reality hits my senses
  When I became one of them
  Powerful life form called women
  As I roam around the city
  I realized, it wasn't just me

This is more than enough
I am floating with the clouds
I waited all my life
Now, we laugh out loud

I've prepared for this trip
My soul has been blessed
There are no what ifs
I am certainly at my happiest

The sunset view from our dark room
While you and I cuddle
I waited for this love to bloom
So much love, even my heart can't handle

You said, "let's forget everything even just for today."
I said, "I have already been living for this moment."
I feel your breath on my face
We can no longer stay just friends

I run on the sands
My dress flies in the wind
While you hold my hand
You realize all you want is me

You don't drink
But you got drunk on love
I hope this won't end in an eyeblink
I feel you within and above

The room echoes our sounds
We're giving in and going with it
Going crazy as we're getting drowned
To this intense heat is where we submit

We desire each other
Like we have no separate lives
Like we have found forever
Whilst tonight is our time

Tomorrow, we go; it's our last night
Our most indelible trip
And last dinner under the moonlight
Something we will forever keep

Just between you and me
And in the wildest corners of our minds
We will remain discreet
And treasure that one time
We were free
And called each other mine

I'm afraid it's all just pity
You don't deserve me
Or perhaps I don't deserve you
But one thing is for sure
Our lives have been crestfallen
I'm tired of being burdened

Gone as fast as it came
Who between us is to blame?
I've made a lot of wrong choices
But this one is the hardest
Didn't know what I got myself into
I'm no longer in love with you

No one understands
That I want to let go of your hand
All I anticipate is the worst
No one understands the hurt
When you don't see hope at all
And you have to stay just to not go wrong

What seemed a fairytale
Turned out to be our nightmare
Getting free is never an option
I have to stand on my decision
I guess I am stuck
I wish I could say time's up

I've not seen you for a year
I wanna touch you but you're not here
But I hear your voice everywhere I go
You've become a part of me
Without you even knowing it
I feel your presence though I'm alone

Fate has been tricky
All it does is play with me
A magnet that pulls me towards you
I'm tired of holding back
I want to give in to all the attacks
Dying to feel your breath on my face too

I wonder if you ever felt the same
Oh I must have gone insane
Fate has been unfair
I just laugh about the impossible
And I'm not waiting for your call
'Cause I'm used to being left in nowhere

There will never be you and me
But you live in my mind rent free
I guess fate has its own mind
When I am trying to forget you
It shows me things that remind me of you
Fate betrays me all the time

When I try to love you more
Fate gives me reasons to let you go
It counters all my moves
Like an opponent desperate to win
I do not know where to begin
Fate is a playful truth

But you are with me no matter the place
'Cause my mind memorizes your face
Let me know how to move on
'Cause I'm filled with the thoughts of you
Writing my feelings is all I can do
Words became my only weapon
To cope with what fate put on

You might be wondering
What this is implying
Or you already have a clue
So allow me to open the book

I knew I had seen your face before
Pretty sure 'twas on the same floor
It was nothing
Until I felt something
I was running out of air
But there you were
Coming my way
Making me survive the bad days

I go to work everyday
Hoping you tap my back again
Before I come back home
That's what I wait for before I go
I remember that one shift
Beside me was where you chose to sit
Two bad scores tried breaking my crayons
But I was too delighted to see what went on

Everything else gets blurred when you're near
All I know is that you are here
No word is enough
Is this just a crush?
It's wrong on so many levels
Just like a tragic novel
Yet it feels so right
Like there's nothing to hide

You are a dream at night
Where I see what I want in life
I chose to put the feelings aside
But I just can't contain what's burning inside
Does this make sense?
'Cause I'm tired of the pretense
Pretending I don't see you
When I've been preoccupied by you

I am sorry
If this may feel so pesky
But one of the things I've learned
Was it's enchanting to be adored
I hope you do right now
Although the world won't allow
Such kind of stuff
Brawling with the thoughts of you is tough

I would love us to remain casual
Even if meeting you has been magical
You do nothing
But there's so much love you bring
This confession is my honest truth
I wish I don't lose you
Even as a friend
I knew this is where it all ends

I can see us in the elevator mirror
You make me long for you even more
You keep appearing in my dreams
Like in this small paradise that's only known to me

The fire that's ready to set alight
Does not know who it will burn alive
Who cares when it's you all I see
In this small paradise that's seen by just me

Love gone bad found its way home
But it does feel so wrong
Why do we want what we can't get
And leave the one we once wanted?
Appears at exactly noon
Is this small paradise made for you

Both choices are equally bad
I'd rather take your hand
But mine has already been held
Didn't know a hallowed vow can be this cruel
Delusively getting out of the cage
Only to be in jail my mind made
The thought I could get free from him
While I know you're not into me
Gives me this hell of a dilemma
Living in a senseless drama

The elevator doors open
Our reflections glisten
That's when this small paradise
Fades before my eyes

Bright moonlight
Makes this a dramatic night
You're the sweet song on the radio
I want to listen to when I'm alone
You are the red light
That makes my world halt
I used to wonder if your hand fits mine
Dying to feel your touch in time

My mental images of you
Became my disgraceful truth
And the fantasy of you and me
Has to stop as it'll never be
How can I go on
When I grieved for all the wrong reasons?

I said no word
But you got it all confirmed
Now, this is me saying
You are the only reason I'm writing
It felt like a confession
Stirred up for all the wrong reasons

Memories that never happened
Keep flashing back in my head
Chasing me in despair
Constantly haunted by something not even there
I deserved all these shades of blue
My tears drowned the thought of you

You will always be my ENCHANTED
A love that is never celebrated
When you finally get this
Know that my feelings for you are the purest
Letting you live in my mind is a crime
But it's you I have always admired
Nothing can make me go on
Got euphoric for all the wrong reasons
And teared for all the wrong reasons
The feelings that remained in all seasons
Got buried for all the wrong reasons

Gloomy in the midst of the fun party
Looking around holding a glass of whisky
I look like a crying lady in sorrow
Gray became my new rainbow
Everybody is happy to see you two
You both look like lovers in Hollywood
Everyone's hooked on your love team
The only hurting one is me

I secretly gazed 'cause I'm truly amazed
By the way you take my breath away
You're making me miserable as hell
But the glimpse of you is surely heaven

I feel sinking in
The thought you will not see me
The way I see you
Is dulling my bright hues
My hands are tied
Keeping me from you but I denied
The fact that at night, I cry
Almost on the edge of saying goodbye

I secretly gazed 'cause that's all I can do
Just in the corner wishing my dreams to come true
You're making me miserable as hell
But the glimpse of you is surely heaven
Just a glimpse of you is heaven

Another day, another ride
The bus is there and the seats are wide
You made me excited for Sundays
Expecting to make my ***** ways
Never have I uttered a word
People around us are blurred
When you sit beside me
And let me do my thing

At night, I imagine you and I
Thrusting you over and over again
Touching your body without a single hi
You made me insane in this quick heaven
The secret connection that nobody knows
Almost sexing you up as hell
You make the monster in me show
You made me insane in this quick heaven

Another day, another ride
Poker face but deep inside I smile
'Cause your hand over my lap
Makes me want to let you in so bad
You made this girl wild
Go put your hands inside
I won't be here if I don't like this
Don't let this Sunday be missed

At night, I imagine you and I
Scratching your back over and over again
Letting you touch me without even a hi
You made me insane in this quick heaven
The secret language you teach me
Is something I can't share with my friends
You make me hot in this seat
You made me insane in this quick heaven

What if I tell you I like you?
Will you laugh at me?
I've given you all the clues
So you would notice what others see

What if I say I want us more than friends?
Will you burn bridges
And bring an end to us as well?
I fearfully hope nothing changes

Been wondering how far can this get me
Makes me awfully excited and lonely
Will this be a good start?
Or I'll end up with another broken heart?

What if I tell you I want you?
Will you realize you want me in your life?
I've been head over heels for you
And I ran out of reasons to lie

What will happen if I tell you I love you?
Will your hidden desire ignite?
Waited all my life for a cue
It looks like it's gonna be tonight

Been wondering how far can this get me
Makes me awfully tensed and lonely
Will this be a good start?
Or I'll end up with another broken heart?

I'm feeling brave
I want to misbehave
My vision gets messed up
Because tonight, I'm drunk
My heart is afraid
If you will go or stay
I ask if you like me too
Anxiously waiting for the truth

Been wondering how far can this get me
Makes me awfully happy and lonely
Will this be a good start?
Or I'll end up with another broken heart?
Will this be the start of a never-ending love?
Or I'll **** myself by forgetting you're my life?

I hope this won't disappoint
'Cause this is our turning point

We’re better off this way
'Cause we don't want to waste
The love we can find no where else
We both like thrill
And those glances we steal
Nobody sees the colors we see

Like my favorite song
That we can sing along,
We can never go wrong
With the feelings we have so strong
You're my safe place
I want to touch your face
But don't want the next base
Just seeing you is God's grace

You know
There is no relationship but I am your lover
You know
We're not together but we belong to each other

I'd like to play with your hair
While at your face, I stare
Strong is the love we share
Like sitting on a durable chair
Although we can make a great pair
We know we'll never be in despair

We keep it a secret
But everybody around gets
That our hearts met
For a love that we won't regret
Though it may sound cruel,
We choose to keep our hearts silent

You know
There is no relationship but I am your lover
You know
We're not together but we belong to each other

We know
Without you in this room, I will never dance
We know
There's a chance but we're enough with just a glance
We know
With just little touches, we feel the romance
We know
There's a chance but we're enough with just a glance

My heart skips a beat
Everytime you look at me
I must be confused
Or I just don’t want to accuse
You know I like you
And I try to read you
Though you don’t say a word,
You don’t want to be heard

Maybe my love for you
Got me into thinking you might like me too
You give me this impossible hope
And an illusion to cope
With the impossible love
That my heart shouts so loud

Having a friendly talk
And a casual walk
Is not even enough
To see what’s inside your heart
You don’t want to show
You don’t want me to know
You make me want to confess
The love that’s been suppressed

Maybe my love for you
Got me into thinking you might like me too
Please don’t make me ask you
If there’s something I can hold on to
Cause this impossible love
Makes my heart shout so loud

Is it a yes or a no? Please let me know
Will you just throw the love that’s waiting below?
Please do not go or say go with the flow
’Cause if you won’t, I’ll continue to show
The love that started a long time ago
A long time ago

Maybe my love for you
Got me into thinking you might like me too
I must be insane
To need this champagne
’Cause I’m preparing myself
If you’d say no or yes
’Cause this impossible love
Makes my heart shout so loud
It shouts so loud
’Cause it wants you so bad
I want you so bad

The first time I saw you
I knew you were true
But with all the past heartbreaks
I treat you as another mistake
I still can’t believe
That there’s someone who won’t leave
I used to be alone
Crying as I go home

I was ready to mess up with you
For once, at least I have something to lose

I thought you were another bad idea
Ready to swim in the ocean of wrongs
Loving those nights with you and tequila
Never thought I had the one all along

Together, we’re so cool
Treat you as my refuge
I ask, ”Will this last?”
You said, ”Trust me and forget your past”
Like a reckless driver,
I missed the signs you’re a real lover
With you, I’m at peace
I pray that this won’t cease

I was ready to mess up with you
But all at once, you’re there willing to pursue

I thought this was another bad feeling
Ready to swim in the ocean of sins
And I’m ready to stop sailing
’Cause I found the one, I feel it within

I push you away
I’m getting afraid
Of the thought our love might end today
You plead to stay
You love me, you said
We will make love until the next day

I was ready to mess up with you
But you made me believe in love that’s true

I thought this was another bad news
Ready to swim in the ocean of crimes
I had the hardest time to choose
But with you, everything’s better a thousand times

’Cause the first time I saw you
I knew you were true

December of 2009
Meeting your family for the first time
I was the first girl you introduced to them
I was nervous but you said I was fine
You then kissed me gently on the forehead

January of 10 years ago
Swearing to each other we won't let go
Felt great when you told me I was the one
Exchanging I love you's over the phone
We knew from there, forever had begun

But I was too young to handle a great love
I messed up more than a couple of times
I'm sorry, the stars are my witness above
But like a withered rose, your love dies

May of 2010
Became selfish and took you for granted
My friends were all laughing at you
But that wasn't how I wanted us to end
It's killing me to see you in shades of blue

Same month of same year
I was longing for you, you're all I want
It's killing me to see myself regret
'Cause all it ever does to me is haunt
I was a fool to waste the love that should've been great

I was too young to handle the love you gave
I messed up and now we're not the same
I'm sorry, I dug up our own grave
But like a criminal, all I feel is shame

Outside your classroom
I sought to speak to you to put things back together
My world was doomed
As you turned down the chance to make our love story better
I deserve this
Even a last kiss
Don't let me miss
'Cause that's all I'd have to reminisce

I was too young to get hurt like this
I messed up cause I was too selfish and immature
I'm sorry, I didn't value what you cherished
Like a guilty verdict, I'm the one to blame for sure

I'm sorry we made us apart
I'm sorry I wasn't smart
To take care of your heart
That made you hate me and cry in your father's car

Your presence
Kept me wide awake
Didn't make sense
Why you got away

Don't explain
Why you wasted time
I won't complain
If you're out of line

Hey we're almost there
But it became a nightmare
You took me high then left the town
Was there something that I lack?
'Cause you took a few steps back
You took me high then brought me down

You've gone cold
Before there was us
I was strong
To accept what's past

You changed me
From a happy heart
To being lonely
Don't know where to start

Hey I have lost my faith
What a BAD girl you made
You took me high then left the town
You took a few steps back
Painful like a heart attack
'Cause you took me high then brought me down

I thought you loved me but I was blind
Your true colors showed, I was the light
I should've not pushed aside the signs
Till now, I remember the days you lied before my eyes

Hey I almost had you
Got the wrong girl to use
You took me high then left the town
Where are you heading to?
Leaving so fast like how the plane flew
You took me high but brought me down

So down
It made me drown

Eyeglasses
Those Nike shoes that suit you
I like you, as if you knew
I get tensed
When you are talking to me
Why is your smile so striking?

You call me
I see your face, you look fine
But you will never be mine
This secret
Is something you should not know
While my whole world becomes slow

I like you but this ain't right
For you, I'm ready to fight
Pretending I didn't see you
But I'm preoccupied by you

You can say
With you, I wear my best smile
That is an old-fashioned style
But today
I'm thinking of giving in
'Cause I want to be your queen

Just us here
Inside the elevator
I don't need anything more
I'm sincere
Seeing you has been enough
Staring at your photograph

I want you but this ain't right
For you, I'm ready to fight
Pretending I'm ignoring you
But I'm preoccupied by you

But we're finally on the ground
Fast was my tensed heart's beating
I hope it wasn't that loud
I want us here but you're leaving

Everything was just in my mind
'Cause in real life, you're not even mine

I love you but this ain't right
The sun above's no longer bright
Pretending I'm not into you
But I'm preoccupied by you
Pretending I see a sign
Cause you always crowd my mind
Pretending I see a sign
To continue this love so divine

Tears from the corner of my eyes
Planning to see a friend and hang out
We are ready, just got the wine
Thinking what you might be doing now

I stare at the colorful lights
But why do I see myself in gray?
Can't see myself with pretty smile
Why did you make me feel this **** way?
This **** way

Trying to get drunk to forget you
But your effect on me is greater
You knew I'm hurt but you smile like a ****
Someday when I am moved on from you
You would know what you had was better
You knew I'm hurt but you smile like a ****

Saw your pic on the internet
You look happy with her, my heart died
Will this liquor let me forget
The times I had with you while you lied?

Must be crazy to see you mine
You perfectly made me hate Sundays
Cause those were the days we were fine
Why did you make me feel this **** way?
This **** way

Trying to get drunk to forget you
But you made me remember it all
You knew I'm hurt but you smile like a ****
None of your sweet words have been true
Saw the red flags but you made me fall
Told you "I love you" but you smiled like a ****

Trying so hard to bury our old memories
Hoping to move on but it drains my energy
Thinking now if you have ever remembered me
That won't matter because you're a bad memory
A bad memory

Trying to get drunk to forget you
But your name is all that I utter
You knew I'm hurt but you smile like a ****
But there is nothing else I can do
Cause I learned to love a heartbreaker
Told you "I love you" but you smiled like a ****
I told you I love you but you said I will find someone better

Funny how I can’t let go
I keep showing here hoping you would notice me
I think you already know
I don’t mind being alone here in the party

Do you feel the connection
When we barely talk to and look at each other?
You do not know my passion
I’m the one expert in waiting for forever

It is more than love
It's a work by God

Why didn’t I notice it right away?
Made me wait for years and months and days
Why's it feel it is coming to an end?
For you, I would go through heartbreaks again
Heartbreaks again

You’re like fireworks in the sky
You are so captivating but fades in no time
Why'd you leave while I was high?
I was never ready for that sudden goodbye

He then came and rescued me
From the pain you inflicted on my heart and soul
From blue to yellow journey
Everything that I wanted from you, now I own

It is more than love
It's a work by God

Why's everything just making sense now
Made me wait for years and months and days
On the altar, he made me say my vow
For him, I would go through heartbreaks again
Yes, heartbreaks again

I used to wonder why you had to leave
Now it's clear
I used to think all boys do is deceive
Now I'm clean
You were removed in my life
To make way for delight

It is more than love
It's a work by God

Fate is playful but so wise
Made me wait for years and months and days
For him, I won't mind waiting in lines
Cause for him, I would go through heartbreaks again

If those heartbreaks mean I'd have him as prize
Then I would go through those heartbreaks again

These empty seats around me
I’m trying to see if you would sit beside me
Oh come on baby, I’m your paramour
Please do not make me love you even more

I see you walk towards her
It should have been me but I am with my lover
But baby come on, I’m your paramour
Please stop being the reason to fall for

I guess this is how one-sided love is
It gives you this hope that doesn't exist
It's like seeing you through a telescope
You’re so far but feels near like home

I see you from a distance
I wanted to get near you but there is no chance
Oh come on baby, I’m your paramour
Please don't show me you are closing the door

I see your face as I sit
I've been looking at you but that's hard to admit
Baby come on, I am your paramour
Please don’t feel that you are being ignored

I guess this is how a secret love is
I can only cuddle you in my dreams
It's like seeing you through a telescope
You’re so far but feels near like home

Being with you is enough
Sharing our own stories and laughs
You truly are the only one I want and admire
Why do we have to keep this to ourselves?
We talk casually but I keep losing myself
Despite this circumstance, this will never get me tired

This love we have is like a magic trick
It's amazing but there's one cheating and one being cheated on
We know this is really becoming sick
Because both of us can’t be together and we need to move on

I guess this is how the love that you keep to yourself is
It makes you crazy, you feel the need to get numb
Forgive me for thinking you and I underneath bedsheets
We've been so in love we don't know what we've become

That quick kiss was something
But for you it was nothing
That kiss that only happened once
Left me wanting for another chance

That quick meeting for a drink
Was something fun, don't you think?
Thought such setting would last
But this is starting to hurt real fast

And then the weekend comes
I'm right here waiting like a dumb
For you, I make myself available
'Cause I know, for sure, you would call

I love you but it hurts like a deep cut
A cut that kills unless I'm numb
I knew this won't work
'Cause there's another girl you lurk

I asked you if we were something
'Cause I want us officially dating
You told me you value me
But that wasn't the answer I wanted to hear

You see me as a friend
That was something I can't comprehend
I cannot stay like this
But I let this happen so shame on me

There's another fine lady
She loves you whole-heartedly
But your first love still owns your heart
From your first love, you can't depart

Now, there are two girls waiting on you
Please get back to your senses and start to choose
Hoping you would love me more than her
But you found the new love like it was an answered prayer

Glad you have finally moved on
But how can we move on from you?
It hurt but we learned a lesson
You should not give your all to someone not sure of you

You have overcome your first love
But the people who loved you while you move on are left unloved now
But hey! It made us stronger
Now, nothing can hurt me nor her

Thank you for being true and cherishing our friendship
You proved to me not all boys do are crap and ****
Now, I proudly say I am finally free
Thanks for putting a great end to our story