I just want to get lost in something
I am avoidance at all costs
***** messy messes
Piles of paper and projects
Piling peeling pooling
I want underwater lights at midnight
Piling up papers when there's music
When there's music

I once thought it imperative to write
As if my voice should be heard
Echo lisp revelations
Now I jot down despondency
On my phone
Now I lapse echo lisp
By myself
With ***** teeth
And lies wrapped around the ache drop gasp in my stomach
This experience of mine
This fetid decay of flesh


What pain are you killing?

Been obsessed with weaving
Warp and weft  
Under over
Around and back

I like to roll the fiber between my fingers
I get messy with my merino with my flaxen string

Over under

I fray and layer
Back and around
My mountains are jewel green silk
Spun by brown hands in Peru

Maybe

I like how loose spun galaxy blue
Feels like galaxy blue
It's texture and grain
Make me look for
Blue star stains on my fingers
As back and around
I weave

I am a pretend fate
Feeling my fiber
Weaving myself
wool mountains and silken seas

Like so many women
In and out
Of time

I am a gluttony glute
A globulous festering
Chute
A billowing bellowing
Blorp
A sniferous sneferous
Snort

It's raining
And I'm trying to think of something profound
But my thoughts are not profound
They are the thoughts of thousands
It's raining
And I lie here
And the beauty and vastness and **** storm thunder of this place
Steals my breath
It's raining
And I'm thinking of my youth
Lost
My mother ridden with cancer
My soul screaming
My loves living their lives in pampered perfection
Proud pictures shining and dripping off of social media
It's raining
And I'm tired