i want to cut the men out from underneath my skin
my body bucks and shakes
another place
pulls at the cords embedded in me

i am not of here
your language is not my language
and the way you move your hands is strange to me
your people peer at me
and their eyes show me to be transparent

my form careens and wavers in alternation
i cannot record or observe myself
the air here shrouds me in plagues and sensitivities
my body is a battleground

i dreamed that i vomited out of my nose
and the space behind my right eyebrow collapsed
if i am only a shell for regurgitations of my surroundings
where does my image exist in full detail?
where did i hear this?
who do i hear now?

i feel like cutting off something beautiful.
grasp thick stems,
crush petals and leaves til they weep
dewy and full in my palm.
leave a patch,
the size of a man's fist,
the size of your fist,
the size of each fist that has torn
something out from my throat.

anxiety is a dog whistle.
a hand on your knee
tastes like tin:
sharp bright lingering.
a survivor,
threatened
will begin preparations
for ten times their past.
in this way you can name shadows.
your body knows pretense
registers his walk
before you do.

close your ears

anxiety is a dog whistle
you are a dog

the earth wells up with light
at my eternal touch
great springs of it
cool and smooth and gentle
at my rushing face, closed eyes
the swoop of my body
silhouetted against the dark wise ground

the trees celebrate my hair
strands darting and playing
in the alternate shadows
patterned sun drapes me

the slap of my feet
solid and known
freed by the endless forest

i leave my body vibrating
in the ground
in the thick vegetation clouding your body

the silent ticking
of digital clocks
cracks my skin in increments

round
a sun heavy in a wet mouth

i am so imprecise a silhouette
that i waver in the midst
of swirling seas

i am so detached a soul
so unfocused and blinding
(a galaxy, loosened)
that i cloud and distort the senses,
stand between a body
and its needs

the garish outline of my necessity
grinds landscapes to a neat
unforgivable dust

we must be gentle
especially with each other

the earth is growing
through our petty trinkets

and our shame is uncovered