With you I never stop smiling.
I never stop laughing.
With you I'm overcome with happiness.
That's what I love most about being with you.

You look at me and are struck with beauty as you kiss me and call me a goddess.
I look at myself and see nothing but a broken piece of glass chipping away.

Is being in love worth it?
Is being in a relationship worth it?
If you know it's not forever and will inevitably end...

I felt lost in the happiness and didn't know how to live.
I guess this is my karma for secretly missing the pain.
My life is turning upside down.
I'm no longer happy with how things have turned out.
I don't know how to fix this.
It feels as though this better life I've created has started to collapse.

I look at you and it feels like my heart is breaking.
How do you truly know we will be okay.
I'm petrified and all I want to do is run.
We are about to spend this amazing month together but then what.
We will be stuck 1,000 miles away again.
Spending month after month attempting a relationship through skype and phone calls.
Keeping things alive with promiscuous snapchats and conversations.
Will we make it?
Will we be okay if we end up going six months or longer apart again.
I love you more than I know how to describe.
Though as my mother taught me...
Love isn't always enough.

You can tell can't you?
That's why he bothers you so much.
You can tell I still love him.
You're right I do.
I always have and always will.
It's a love that will never vanish no matter how hard I have tried.
It will never leave me.
That doesn't matter to me however.
He is no longer who I want.
Who I spend my days thinking of, loving, and missing in our moments apart.
He is no longer the man I wish to fall asleep with at night.
The man whose arms I wish to be waking up in.
Your voice is the last one I wish to hear at night.
Your face is the last I wish to see before closing my eyes.
I can't imagine being with anyone but you.
The love I have for you is so pure.
It's a constant, never ending, happiness.
It's a calm summer night full of laughter.
I love you with more of me than I knew was capable.
Nothing has ever felt so right before.
It is time to stop worrying about my past.
And realize...
You are the person I was supposed to be with from the moment we met.
I was destined to find you.
To love you.
Even if it ends up being for only a period of our lives.
In this moment my heart belongs to nothing and no one but you.

Can't you tell I'm killing myself over here.
Killing myself in the stress.
Drowning as I try to reach your expectations.
You can't treat me like a teenager and expect me to meet the responsibilities and requirements of an adult.
I work my *** of for you but you don't ever see.
I go above and beyond.
Do everything you ask.
I'm starting to realize it's not worth it.
I can't **** myself for you.
I can only do the best of my ability and hope you see.
I have covered your *** so many times.
Covered everyone else more than I can count.
I'm always there.
Does that not count for anything.
If what I bring to the table is so worthless why do I push aside my priorities for this.
I have my own things to be accomplishing here.
My own goals to meet.
If I give you more than I have to give.
What will I have left at the end.
Nothing.
I'll be nothing.
I'm killing myself over here for nothing.
It's time I stop.
It's time I stop worrying about what you will think if I mess up and start worrying about what I need.
What I'm capable of.
What it is I can do.
Because isn't that the goal in life.
To do the best YOU can do.
I shouldn't have to be killing myself anymore for you.