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do not
feed the negative ****.
tell your brain not to swallow it
into your frontal lobe, stop,
bite your lower lip, whatever
you do,
do not
let it in.

resist the old familiar siren song
of sabotage
in your
head.
deny the temptation
to lie in bed
for the rest
of your existence.
avoid the path
of least resistance,
self-loathing,
alone smoking
in your parents basement.

do not feed
the negative ****.
do not let
the darkness in.
don't water
that old, rotting
plant.
when i taste,
i am alone.
i am alone in this moment.
warm wind making love
to the candy green grass
and nearby, my open mouth:
a summer of oranges and chlorine
and the idea of someone else’s lips.

a curious lightness of the heart —
but i come back to my tongue
and my tongue only.

a million aftertastes
in the autumn that followed:
pomegranates bleeding in the kitchen
while the swimming pools
began to close
and those lips:
only a moment.
only an idea.

with taste i was alone.

with Sound
came restlessness:
a fresh morning
crowded and sweet
by the noise of the sun
that chose us.
that chooses us, still.

the sound of the bathroom sink
beating the alarm clock.
doors opening before eyes.
the sound of a strange tense,
of love in its past tense.

love craving a letter to wear on its tail,
and borrowing Death’s first —
how it leaves your teeth differently,
how it will come to remind you of this gift.

even the shy ones,
the sounds that happened while we were sleeping,
even those sounds from underwater,
where your voice returns to you
heavy and misshapen —

even there
when i listen
i don’t have to be alone.
jan 2013
The title comes back to me
and suddenly
at 1:38 in the morning
I have the urge to hear that old song
that she still tells me after listening to
(leaving a ;) that always confuses me)
since that was our song,
or rather,
my song when I could think of nothing but her
my song for two and a half years
my song for every second she avoided me

and then everything got better
and somehow, in some conversation
I mentioned this song
and it became ours,
or rather
hers for every broken heart
hers for every second spent alone
hers for every confused emotion that she harbored

and I helped sail away.

and at the end of every verse of this song
i smile and cringe simultaneously
as her name is said
and I wonder how she really feels
wonder if she's spent as many long nights as me;
lying awake
hoping somebody would come along
somebody perfect, who cares more than anyone ever has

wonder if she's ever thought my name
in a moment like that
wonder if she's ever thought my name
ever

I need to stop wondering
and ask
I'd faithfully promised
Myself and my friends
That all this was over
And I'd reached the end
Of my fawning and sighing
And tripping cloud nine -
I'd said I was finished
I'd said I was fine.

But I wasn't, you see,
And it all became clear
When I saw you again
For the first time this year:
You stood so **** near me
And smiled so wide
And shouted my name
And I melted inside . . .

I can't turn away now:
You stare so intensely,
You promise tomorrow,
And I love you immensely.
Thus, after the heartache,
The fear and the pain,
I'm back with a vengeance.
I'm back in the game.
So you want to be rich?
                              You'd like to rule?
                                                     Nothing is better, nothing more cool.
It's really quite simple
                              1...
                                       2...
                                               3...
Just ignore your heart
                                     AND
                                                Release your greed
March as though
                            YOU
                                      own the place
Talk as though
                            YOU
                                       know it all
When someone sobs
                                  OR
                                         someone shirks
Tear them.
                .
                .  down

Or go berserk!

You know I'm right
You know it's true
                                
Who needs
                  family...
                                 friends...
                                                 love...
Being a ****
                    WILL
                                put you above
Girl after girl
                       WILL
                                  chase after you
Simply pretend
                          YOU
                                    know what to do
Want something done?
get THEM to do
                                      The world was made
                                       to be rearranged
Money. Wealth.
                           FAME.
                                         and Power.
Will satisfy
                         YOUR
                                       every hour
Oh...
      You'd rather be warm?
                                  You'd rather care?
Good luck my friend.
                              The world is unfair.
Within my cave
I sit and crave
sable stone
It may be my grave

Within my eye
I catch the sky
brilliant blue
I may begin to cry

Within my heart
I desire to start
wellaway wishes
It's the hard part

Within my sprint
I start to squint
obnubilated outside
It seems to tint

Within my mind
I'm so inclined
dodging disaster
In caves I find

So on my grave
I sit and crave
sable stone
Within my cave
sable - blackish, dark
obnubilated- to becloud, obscure

A quick write.
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