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 Aug 2013 berry
wounded
you ask me again if i love myself
i answer only that i know i should
if you already know why isn’t it so
that one i’ve never yet understood

so what’s your plan until you can
what exactly are you going to do
i’m not sure, but this might work
perhaps i can learn by loving you
 Aug 2013 berry
idk
wasn't a big deal when i was joking about it
thought they'd never notice
ha
we'd ALL joke about it
"it'll never happen to us"
in the back of my mind,
"it'll never happen to me"
"i'd NEVER do that"
heavens forbid no i'm a good girl
yeah
"who would do that to themselves"
until the day the pain was to strong
and the medicine wasn't enough
and the blade wasn't sharp enough
and not eating wasn't getting you skinny enough
and everyone around you
the one that said they loved you the most
said they'd do ANYTHING for you
now in your mind, the hypocritical ones
telling you they could do nothing to help you
while others walked away without understanding of what was really going on
and you'd sit alone
with the mindset that you'd go nowhere
miserable
wondering how you could help yourself
without the support of no one else but reality of searching everywhere for someone other than yourself
but not finding anyone else but yourself
when you looked in the mirror
and the only word you could imagine to describe yourself
your self esteem
your body
your personality
was hate
went through your mind that you HATED every little thing about yourself
brutal realization isn't enough
you don't KNOW ENOUGH until you've HAD ENOUGH
and come to the realization that the addiction tot he pain will always be enough because your prone to the feeling of what you know
is the pain
you LOVE
 Aug 2013 berry
blankpoems
You act like the flowers on my dress aren't alive,
like they won't root themselves in your hands when you touch me.

You looked at me with a mouthful of forevers
and I looked at you with stained glass eyes
that have never seen the inside of a church.

You act like my lips won't find you,
like they won't caress a map until they land on your hometown.
Until they touch your memories.

But that's all I will be soon- a memory.

Soon you'll realize that you have more flies in your house than loved ones
and you'll remember the day you pushed me away.

You were full of bad ideas and the color red.
Your hands reminded me of diamonds for some unknown reason.

You used to walk along the edge of the roof on apartment buildings
you said you were testing fate.
I called it testing the wind.
One bitter spit your way from the clouds and you'd be one with the cement.

I told you, "Stop batting your eyes at death darling",
it will greet you faster than you can say you wish you had more time.

I need you to keep my flowers alive.
 Jul 2013 berry
Megan Grace
Ultimately
I'm mad at myself
for believing
I could have
someone as lovely
as you.
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