Seems like these are both my patients and my victims.
It's a twisted system convoluted, disruptin my moral rhythm.
I've convincing my brain
That I'm an agent of peace. Helping these objects breaking free from pain.
18 gauge. Largest needle in the vein.
My conscience is clean, somewhere beneath the stains.
I mean, nobody gotta live with this but me.
Legally, free to go on a justified killing spree.
I'll set you free, After a brief moment of captivity
But that's me. Thinking about myself..selfishly.
But its my conscience that i need to protect
The guilt that I need to reject
And the empty feeling that i seem to expect.
Each push of the plunger has a similar effect.
Not on my victim though, at least I tell myself its pain free.
Similarly I've numbed my inner self and thats the **** that makes me passively angry.
And the crazy part is that seeing them drift away fills my mind with feelings of envy. I am an angel of death providing a less complicated end for other beings but never myself.
Ive come up with so many different justifications that even I dont understand me.
Coz when i look back, it seems like I've traded all my conviction sense of reason for whatever will pay my bills..this cant be...