Seven years I lived my life, fading from reality. Crossing into machinery. Robotics with which I am so unfamiliar. Machined, greased, lubricated parts. Built with a purpose. A meaningless purpose. Destined for failure.

A broken down machine I stand. Sit. Lay. Run. Work. Play. Slide. Cursed and wretched as the demons which haunt the dreams of the fallen. I rise above. Skyrocketing through reason. Through the seventh layer of Heaven and Hell. On a false sense of cloud nine I currently float…awaiting the plummet.

Its falling away from me. I sail through a shattered sea of broken glass. I closed my eyes and the tears could not flow. Blocked by my eyelids, restricting emotion. After all of this, I am amazed. The wall could be broken. Forgotten faded memories of which I have no say.

Of past. Of present. Of gifts. Of futures. Of lists. Lists of black. Hit lists in my head. I live in my head. I am not what I wish. I am what I’m not. I am what I dream. A scream. A cry. Laying here, blank as the page on which I cannot create a scene. A scene behind my eyes, yet I cannot attain it on paper. These words flow meaninglessly, but not slow.

Daedalus, Icarus, Thrice. Three times I roam. Randomized plains of thought, laid out on a digital page. Keys, not a pen. Ones and Zeros, not ink. Screens, not pages. Neat, not sloppy…yet my words do not understand one another… nor do I….

If we make the mainland, this song would not be made. Epic beauty, formed through misfortune and tragedy. Oh son…I beg you…keep a steady wing. For you are the only one who means anything to me. My wings are made of melting, shredding, fading elements. The sun, heating, lighting, someday dying. I understand that nothing is as it may seem. Nor is any seam as true as the seamstress believed. The Gods did not take the only thing which meant anything to you, father of legend. Your son is not dead…only afire. Acquired by the forces you believed to be merciful.

Tormenting distance always a shadow
this separated feeling from reality and you
Tonight I put my life on repeat for the millionth time
and sit here dreaming without ever closing my eyes

In these visions, I see red burning sunsets
that never descend below horizon's edge
I see clusters of stars raining galaxy hail
vast nebula clouds, our oceans to sail

Reality a vine
cut short as it grew
tangents of grapes
each fell a direction its own

revelations of faces
in alternate places
cross stretches of spaces
like speed of light races

time travel acquired
time line expired
time itself, tired
time, into minds, wired

like electrical current
like electrical impulse
like instinctual whims
like sensual sins

Again, I'm rendered speechless
by the strength of my distaste,
so I fly from the peak of sorrow
seeking redemption in tomorrow
Don't abandon me quite yet
to the ravenous famished monsters
that reside under my bed,
which I knew would come to take me
This is an era of destruction,
to precede the age of glory,
which approaches with the dawn
to bring an ending to the twilight

I am from the future
do you remember that
enhanced mirror glass
a reminder's reflection
of where you never wanted to go

Walk into the night and
live life as your own
but just don't let me go
so easily this time
just don't let go
of my hand this time

Slipping grip released
my body into the portal
my mind into the coma
my heart into the fire
hold on for dear life

Before beginnings
and after endings,
I swim through particles and atoms,
by Genesis, surrounded,
entering Exodus,
accepting exile
with manipulated masses

They watch Leviathan
rise from oceans,
forming liquid flowing shadows
that embrace the coming hours
of Revelations that await them

Simplicity is found


within the most
complex of concepts.

The chaos encompassing
the subtle subconscious
is but a delusion,
which was designated
to distract
and disable

Dramatic interpretations
of simple truths
are the most misleading
of our design flaws

The unending flow
of deception
within ourselves
defeats the purpose
we were given
by the One,
who resides outside
our understanding

Take a moment
to relax
and reflect upon
your instincts,
which may be
the voice of reason
inside the screams
of broken logic

Understanding is gifted
to those who venture
outside the laws
of society’s lies

Meaning is found
through a process,
slow and painful

Lessons are learned
inevitably through repetition
of failure
and fault,
which guide us
through the gates
of enlightenment

He is here,


not to be feared,
but embraced

Hide not your face,
from the One
who awaits
your ascension
into the dimension
of kings


Become a martyr
to the cause

Find yourself climbing
above physicality of body,
and mentality of mind,
leaving behind
complexity of concept;


Finding simplicity

Layers upon layers
of a vast design
complex and diverse
in clashing colors
constructed in chaos
forged within tears
forgotten reasons
why we cry
why we bleed
why we cherish
the way things are
the way they must be

ask questions
don't ask why you should
the truth is a gift
reality is earned

Awaken to a dream world built to seal you in
feel the atoms, digitized, flickering around you
feel the virus spreading rapid, overwhelming static
This dream is brilliant, ever still, lucidly evolving
into unknown tangents of gravel paths
or streets fresh-paved by alchemy
Is the sun above, or the stars below?
Directionless we wait
for creation to reveal itself
we wait until that day

I'm on the other side of myself looking through the glass
that divides my heart from my mind,
and the sky passes over in time lapse fashion.

The stars rotate as they should,
but I'm standing still even now,
despite the chaos around me.

Motion is endless and time is a menace,
or an angel for some.

My hopes rise and fall like empires through ages
while my sight falls and rests on the inevitable

The division is clear
The result is predicted
Just a matter of time
Just a short while still

So vivid is this image of futures I create
but my delusions no longer plague me in this physical state

Escape...

into the transition

beyond evolution

coasting past civilizations we never imagined

and the void will find you

to reclaim the emptiness that's thriving inside you

Gateways of glass
under the gaze of men
wanting and watchful
desperate for fulfillment
of
shattering glances
mistaken for love
reality, lust
reality, rust
corrosive consumption
misguided assumption
misdirection contraption
the bodies we're trapped in
mislead us to fall

When convenience meets its limits
and cell phones become robots
and alternate realities
are simply sources of entertainment

Take away the lightning
take away the lighting
digital worlds will crumble
inside dying currents

back to reality
back to the stone ages
the dawn of the human race
animals, and dust, our nature

Let's see how civilized we'll be

Behind the colors
vivid
such beautiful gateways
lucid
dreams await
and the mystery
is great
and we strive to uncover
the reality
of what's beyond them

Your eyes,

they hide
worlds and wishes

and behind them
concepts wait

and inside them
all your faith

is concealed

soundless space

directionless drift

toward the sun and the stars

toward Saturn or Mars

reckless release

of empty debris

we greet as we pass

with a silent wave

we circumnavigate

every heavenly body

we see on the way

Forever in motion, though stillness it seeks
always indifferent, but emotion it bleeds

A final cut through the shield, through the shell, through the skin
Time comes to a halt, and thus forever begins

Galaxies burst open, while stars tear apart,
while moons split and crumble, still Earth plays its part

From the wound, dripping comet trails and meteor streaks
scattering pieces of eternity's being

Geometric patterns through
waves wash away reality;
the ultimate escape
rhythmic volume pulses cleansing

Grazing the tops of every level
of Heaven's clouds
each time it's created;
the essence of the sound

First contact made under the watchful eye of night
propulsion acquired into endless black sky
astronomical equations and distant discovery
all come together at the end of this journey

Space and direction become void, meaningless
time, an illusion, fading quietly into bliss
Sailing through vapors and silence eternal
drifting past clouds of gasses infernal

I have sailed
the most malevolent of storms,
feeling the chaos watching me,
hearing the twisted cries
of turmoil,
resounding as laughter
all around me.



The sunlight has died,
a most humiliating death indeed,
overwhelmed, impossibly,
by the magnitude of darkness
which swept through
and throughout
all that once shone bright.



The moon is starving,
craving the warmth it always knew,
longing deeply
to illuminate the night sky
once more,
giving hope
to those who were lost
in the shadows.



The stars are crying,
watching, regretfully,
as the laws of nature
become irrelevant,
and the very truth of their being
becomes a mockery.



The tempest sea,
loving, an animal it remains,
and though remorseful,
it now shall claim me
as its own,
as I merge into the water.



It’s so cold,
but my nerve endings are failing,
and I find myself sinking
deeper
into a state of indifference,
as the fear takes on a new image…
a smile



Drowning was
never so blissful,
dying was
never so beautiful,
losing was
never so great a victory…



until this very day…

I'm on the other side of myself looking through the glass
that divides my heart from my mind,
and the sky passes over in time lapse fashion.

The stars rotate as they should,
but I'm standing still even now,
despite the chaos around me.

Motion is endless and time is a menace,
or an angel for some.

My hopes rise and fall like empires through ages
while my sight falls and rests on the inevitable

The division is clear
The result is predicted
Just a matter of time
Just a short while still

So vivid is this image of futures I create
but my delusions no longer plague me in this physical state

Escape...

into the transition

beyond evolution

coasting past civilizations we never imagined

and the void will find you

to reclaim the emptiness that's thriving inside you

Fire! Thunder! Lightning! Rain!

The Beast is approaching
We’ve come here for fame
Firefights flashing
For victory or shame
Stray bullets roaming
They search for a name
I feel the ground shaking
The snipers take aim
Auditory vibrations
Echoes from the grave
Oh Father who art in Heaven,
Save us this day!
Blasts cascading!
Explosive points made…

IT’S COMING!! FIRE! FIRE AT WILL!!
THE TIME HAS NOW COME TO **** OR BE KILLED!!


Blood seeps from the ground
Dead bodies are floating
Pools of death
The prophets are screaming
The sky goes dark
The wind has stopped blowing
I look at my chest
I see that I’m bleeding


Doctor, DOCTOR! SAVE ME…I’m pleading!!

This wound is too deep
These hills are too steep
We all feared the day
We were slaughtered like sheep

This vessel is broken
This wound sits wide open
Recall to yourselves
The words that were spoken

When will it fall?
Why are we failing?
How is it winning?
God take me!


I'M FADING!!

Arsonist’s accomplice,
         designed only to spread
     created with malice,
filling urns with the dead

Hypnotically, dancing
          A feast for the eyes
     Bewitching, entrancing
Illuminates skies

Trees laid to waste
          Reducing forest to ash
    Consuming with haste
Erasing life, with a flash

Rivaled by water,
          Unremorsefully blazing
    Hades, its father
Uncontrolled, never aging


Heating…
     Lighting…
Feeding…
      Igniting…

Obtain permanence
as ages subside
scaling the climate
between summer and ice
the end is approaching
but just from the west
we tried to avoid it
we gave it our best

Light seeps in and void seeks its rest
into the solace of full emptiness
Finality peaks over the highest hopes
and falls down the dark side of slopes

Like the taste of complete indifference
like the thought of knowing
such bitterness awakens
unrecognizable reflections
Consuming from within
a black hole beneath the skin
my body is a galaxy
beautifully self-destructing

Time heals no longer
only masks the bleeding body
only hides the leaking chaos
behind serene scenes of sunsets
painted by the numbness

These thoughts come in Summer
and leave in the cold
like my ability to regulate
my temperature control
set on reckless behavior
set on self-seeking self
you've got me retreating
simply ecstatic
over developing events
as my system is crashing
and my hard drive is cleared
and electric currents run through
every wire and circuit

Three days of careless
a lifetime of lifeless

Breathing isn't easy
with crumbling lungs,
but inhale will I still,
as the world falls
upwards and down,
and oxygen burns
as it enters my mouth

Internal ignition
Hello to the end
Goodbye to the doubt


Enter and exist

Passage of time

Passage of life

Tick tock clock

Every now and then
may it stop
so that I may bask
in the fullness
of what I've been given
and reflect on
the task at hand,
which may be
any of many things

Life is partial

Life is complete

Your eyes hold life

Pass it to me

so I may hold it
just for a blink
of my eyes within yours

Mirror paradox

Endless reflection

I see you and me
in a vision futuristic
of a world long gone
beyond, now behold
the manifestation
of what we never thought would be

A bitter scene                                 Abyss reminiscent,
   Glazed,                                                illuminated by
painted scarlet                               flickering flame
   with undertones                             bleeding shadows
of onyx                                               so aesthetically vivid

----------------------------------------------------------­---------------------------------


Born into the ashes    ~                         ~   to ashes, dust to dust
  Exist, as life passes    ~                    ~   wealthy, rich, and robust
Begin, rendered sightless    ~               ~    features hidden from view
   Expiration, lifeless    ~                   ~    heartbeats beaten, very few

Terminally ill-advised    ~                     ~  patients awaiting death
  Placed adjacent to demise    ~              ~   running very low on breath
Doorways leading nowhere fast   ~       ~  one rabbit hole is opened
  Destination reached at last    ~             ~   a sleeping beast awakened

---------------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------------

A sweet chapter                              Lacking in light
   Frosted,                                                Charred, cold collisions of
brushed in crimson                        tones, tints, and shades
   with backgrounds                             invoking midnight mirages
of absence                                         and the darkest of illusions

Raining metal
on streets stained
by the contents
of so many veins

The art of violence
bullets brush paint
on broken down walls
built to contain

such acts in the night
and murders by day
The scent of the city;
a stench you can taste

You tell me now, still,
that the world will change
for the better somehow
How long will we wait?

Roots growing, confiding
    Men formed from the dust
Atop ATLAS, residing
    Back broken and crushed

    Beneath our steps, waiting
Unmoving throughout time
    Plates sometimes colliding
Within GAIA’S design

Holding graves of deceased
    Residence for men passed
Their life force is released
    Peaceful souls are amassed



    Softened by the sea
Immune to the flame
    Underneath our feet
The earth will remain

Oh how the days escape

as if they never had any meaning

and our moments of sleep and waking

become one and the same


corrosion


through time and fire

heartache transpires

and some things are lost

but we seek them in times



so desperate


for familiar feelings

and faces we missed

and chances we passed

and lives our life kissed


grazing


paths crossed by hope

sometimes it's fated

sometimes belated

but oh how we waited



for so very long



for this moment to come

for this time to arrive

for this chance to arise

so hard to describe



the way we keep breathing



in hope and out despair

inhale and exhale

caressing each breath

cherishing air

You're so far away
and I feel your breath
dance on the hairs on my neck
I just imagine a different life
I can't look past
I can't see beyond
the shadow that's grown
between me and the sun

My mind wanders
in every waking moment
to the things that it finds
on its own when I sleep
I'm lost in a different place
that this place will never be

Uncomfortably numb with everything
so unbiased, to either side of reality
Night and day fade into constant grey
with neither death or life
nor darkness or light
to draw my indifferent gaze

Where have you gone?

You once were as much a part of me as my physical body
You once surprised me with seemingly endless creativity
You once spoke to me, visions of what I dreamed I could be
If you were once within me, then why have you left me?

I used to learn from the stars and speak to the breeze
and blend into shadows and explode into beams
and make illusions of reality, based on my dreams
accepting that what was before me, was not what it seemed

Where have you gone,

you whispers from nothing and chills down my spine?

Where have you gone,

oh, smiles in silence still frozen in time?

Where have you gone,

clarity found in creative design?

You've left for another,

but you'll always be mine

It's bright
but it's cold
and the wind makes it even more so
and the clouds
and the shadows
that they cast upon the ground
are flowing
streaming on their paths
and the hardest part is knowing
you're alone
and so am I
Sometimes you feel like home,
so don't ever
don't you ever cry
on my behalf until I've passed

So many chances to make things right and forgive and forget and apologize
So many times we hold up these walls, and fight off the truth to feed our egos
So many lives we could touch or lives we could save
So many times we turn our backs and walk away

As equals, our race fights to survive, to sustain, to remain on this earth, yet we pretend we're the enemy and destroy and divide.

How many times have we passed by someone in need or forgotten the fact that we've all been deceived?

This place is a prison, growing in inmates, as we seek to indulge ourselves and consume everything around us.

Just once, I want to stop and think nothing, while I feel everything around us connected in the deepest levels, so delicate and silent.

In absence of volume
hearing becomes easy
listen to nothing
and it will speak
through silence
through walls
through guarded hearts
through defenses
through heartache
louder than it ever was

Hold the lines
until they're upon us
hold your fear deep inside
and let them have confidence
until the very last moment
before their blades pierce your heart
stand and deliver
the final blow to their pride

enough blood, for tonight
enough pain, just for now
let them recover, let them restore
their ranks till tomorrow
then we'll crush every hope
devour their wills
destroy every chance
they ever had to survive

Far away thunder
soft warm gusts
the air becomes static
the leaves become swords
that carelessly cut

caressing electric
coursing through blood
in pools on the tips
of every blade of grass
greener than my own

daylight shrinking
behind the trees
behind the mountains
over the distance
of unspoken dreams

when and

where and

why and

how ?



ask not

speak not

think not

only hear



an idea

a concept

a notion

for motion



to listen

to heed

to react

to achieve

to renew

to believe

to escape

to conceive

This design
asks so much
so much
of us

Splendor
and pleasure
and plummets
and nature

Just natural
just chaos
just given
accept it

This moment
is timeless
is precious
is priceless

Give me your
fire and your
ice and your
sentiment

Darling, when was the last time
you reflected on the past
that you shared with me,
or the things that could have been;
the things we never did together,
because we couldn't sacrifice
just the smallest part of our pride?
Our hearts just couldn't connect
on a level that was right
Maybe it was never meant to be,
but maybe time will never tell,
because time will never know
We chose a road we can't backtrack
to create another path, or a lasting smile
I wish to God that time could flow backwards
or in reverse, if only for a while,
so that I could find that fork in the road
way back when, before we fell
into that sickening cycle, into that hell
that we called love, that we called life
Chaos seems to be the only certain thing,
while everything else will cease to be,
becoming lost in twisted memory