She goes about unaware
That without her he is bare.
Little does this cat know,
The poison she gives with each “Hello,”

As he lays dying like an old dog
She begins to see through the past’s dense fog.
He’d always stood for her,
Her shield whom wouldn’t deter,

He said “I’ve always loved you, but now I’m done,
Please don’t forget, you are my one.”
Tears are unstoppable and they share their only kiss,
Now the tragedy is that sweet taste she’ll forever miss.

I see
Yet fail to understand

Not sure what to think
And just as much what to believe
Has he replaced me?

I think he has,
It’s a sad hard truth.
You love him the way you loved me
You treat him as I was treated

I want to be friends
To me nothing should’ve changed
Why’d you change,
And toss me out?

As long as your happy
However my fate and well being
Matter not.

Just please stay happy
And I will too.

Well, *******.
I did it again.

We tried so hard and got so far
But I took the shot in the throat
Hurt you so bad
So now I’m out here on this boat

Call this a play,
The actors are us
It all began seven months before that one May,
And we followed the set without so much as a fuss

Now four years in the making
The grande finale is finally here,
An end to misery,
An end to pain.

And taking the damage,
I won’t die in vein.

Here I sit and ponder
How long it shall be
How long will I wonder?

Suddenly  your bright blue eyes
Shine into my darker brown
Saving me before my chance comes to drown.

The kiss of life has never been so sweet,
The kiss of yours has only been sweeter
The bliss you give me radiates through every street

Ecstatic when your soft skin touches
My rough worked hands,
I can’t help but to long this forever

Beautiful red hair,
Soft tender lips,
The way you sway your smooth hips

I love everything about you and yourself
From the aura of your presence
To the red blush of your cheeks

You have a seamless soul,
The kind, helpful nature
Your playful tease.

I love you forever and always
I’ll take you for mine
Will you take me?

I just want your sweet and tender love.

I’ll take you for my wife,
My sister’s sister
Will you wed me?

I miss you more than ever.
I’ll promise to keep close,
But away… NEVER!

I need to have you in my arms
I wish it was me you’d chosen.
I’m trying to get you back with all my charms

Now you’re happy, so I will wait.
At least you love me still,
I just need to get your kind of bait.

This poem’s written to you, my love
And sadly it ***** so bad it could ****
But I will write still,
Because your smile is an angel’s from above

Confused in life,
There’s plenty of strife.
My brain is scattered.
For you I lust.

She may be there,
But the happiness is just a hair.
She keeps it minimal,
You let it bust

You think it’s you,
I know it’s me.
Solve this please…
Don’t let love rust

I love you so much,
So much it’s hard to touch;
A soul so perfect and sweet.
Your love’s return is a must

So far off I miss my target
I want your forbidden love,
The one he won’t let me have.
Just flow with your trust…

I’m about fed up with trying
I’ll give up all possible solutions
I’ll let you go…
But only when I let the world go…
And you’ll get to deliver the killing ******.

Mind boggling beauty and love,
You have made me your slave.

Bestowed every gift just by your presence,
Elated by every thought.
Love for you has become my only emotion,
Love and trust returned is now my only obsession.
Always and forever this will burn.

Forgetting the world and its worries,
Overcoming past sorrows with our shared joy.
Romeo could never have dreamt of anything better.
Ebullient is how we shall feel from this moment on
Vagaries come in dozens as you come to be by my side,
Eternally together our happiness shines.
Rehashing the subject is simply unavoidable.

Take it one step at a time
Let the natural beauty sink in

If you rush,
You’ll crash and fall
Keep it steady
Keep it safe

Don’t get scared half-way
Don’t turn around and give-up

You’ve worked so hard,
Why throw it away?
You’re nearly there,
And didn’t you come to stay?

Good morning my love,
I’m indescribably happy to see you, love.
You’re here to make me happy, love
In my arms where I can hold you forever.

Good afternoon love,
I love hearing your voice, love.
Tell me you love me still,
I love you more than the doves!

Good-night my precious sweet,
It’s not my soul I pray to keep.
As long as you’re here, I’ll be fine.
Now let us sleep in peace and dream of “us”.

The nightmare begins…

Good mor-…
Love?
Where have you gone?
Who’s taken you away?
Why are you not in my arms, my love?

I am praying for you this afternoon, love.
I seriously miss you love,
You meant and mean everything to me…
I was fired today on funny grounds,
Complaining of my, quoting the boss,
Missing “imaginary” wife.

I am dead this night love…
I can’t stand being without you,
Searching this world after is my goal.
Finding you, I’ll make it inevitable.
I need you love, you have my heart.

Waking in a cold sweat…

Another nightmare, love.
This was by far the worst,
Promise me again…
You’ll be with me ‘til the end.

Flitter, flap, flap.
Flapping away in the new found freedom
Free as a bird I can feel it happening
The cage is removed and I’m taking wing.

If I run away,
I’ll be back in a day.
Cause I’ve somehow become addicted
To the iron taste of your imprisonment.

I’m by your side
No matter what you say
I need you in my life
Forever and always

Here I am,
Like it or not.
You taught me everything
Now I’ll protect you from every shot.

Rely on me
To answer your prayer
I’ll get all you need
And give you everything

What you mean
Is everything
Let me hold you once more
And we’ll make the covenant to never
Ever walk out the last door.

Confused and torn between
Me, her, and simply everything

I want to feel one way…
I probably will one day…
She makes me happy
Yet sorrow’s with me.

Then there’s the other
To me she’s never been at all a bother.
Calm and tolerant
She’ll listen through my speech impediment

Both be beautiful,
Amazing and wonderful

What would you do,
If I vanished for a year or two?
Would your tears be fake?
Could you remain true?

“Here today, gone tomorrow.”
Name one person who’d experience true sorrow.
“I’m not a perfect person”
I need a new pure soul to borrow

Now what do you think?
My mind just tipped the brink
Oh, never mind it doesn’t matter,
My blood is filling the sink.

In it’s purest form
I swear it’s true
Nothing is quite this strong,
I speak of my love for you.

Our life together has simply flown by
Giving us hardly any time to even cry
Who know why ‘tis so,
But I won’t let you go

I refuse to lose my love
My best friend
My supporter
My supportee
My life

Fact of the matter is
I’ll be with you always
Holding you
Comforting you

As a friend
Or a lover
A partner
Or whatever

You’ve done so much
Been so strong
Had such an influence
I can’t forget

In a very real sense
No distance will matter
Nor the time it takes to travel
For I’ll be there faster

I knew it would happen,
Why am I so ******?
She did it to him
Why not me?

I knew it was coming
I didn’t know who
It was inevitable
I simply couldn’t say when.

I know how he felt now
Or should I say how he feels
The faithfulness now gone
Now deliberately broken.

This “third” person got it all
The affection that I thought was mine
His loving nickname that was once only his.
In us both she gave out all.
Or so we thought

What’s the difference?
Can you tell me this?
He hopped the fence,
With just a kiss.

If he truly felt
As he’d be with you as one,
Then would he have dealt
What damage he’d done?

So he does sports
So he takes risks bigger than mine?
So **** it if he can’t be dependable,
You’ll do just that just ‘cause he can hurt someone.

If I wanted, I could choose that path,
If I wanted, it would help relieve my wrath.
At times I wish I loved you enough to change
Then I realize I do,
But as I change so do your wants.

So, I’m fed-up, and tired of changing
I still love you, but for once I give-up
I’ll never get love back ‘cause
Now I know the difference…

I love you, he loves your body,
You love him…
And I’m just a friend.

Though the radiant man
Is usually fresh from the pan,
The early morning of this day
Shows this man’s darker way.

Yet his darkest form is still not shown,
From fear, this form he does leave unknown.
Only twice has he lost control;
Both times a strike of cowardice stole.

Conscious of his darker power
He sits at home with a ridding-focused glower.
Depressing is the harm he does,
As the dark being he will always be, is, and was.

I did it again
So here’s that, now,
Oh so familiar feeling
Sorry I’m a disappointment.

I can never do it right,
I’m always making mistakes
Will you ever forgive me?
Is my feeble soul even worth this
Sweet forgiveness of yours?

I’ve had my glory
And plenty of chances
But my guardian angel
Has to move on to that luckier man.

It’s a mid-summer’s day at noon,
I hear of what I’ve done to you.
And I’m so truly sorry,
I can’t begin to explain it…

Now I just need to wait
‘Til the chill I now feel
Passes through
I feel frozen solid

The temperature is ninety-two,
Yet, I’m frozen for you…

It’s amazing how life works
The way history repeats itself
Seemingly more destructive each time

Be it decades of fashion,
Or last weeks meals

History just doesn’t change
Wars repeat,
And nations continue to compete

Even things as insignificant as a lone man’s life
For him,
Last year becomes this year
Meaning more struggle and strife

And all it takes to trigger it
Is one thing,
One simple poem,
One simple dream

Maybe life does not deserve my vicious scream

Shocking, isn’t it?
Lost in a muck of awful confusion

Lusting for one
Loving another
Yet playing the fool for a third
The fourth I still desire
But with her my hopes shall never re-fire

However, when did a fifth enter my wreck?
Why have I not noticed before?

She shares an exceptionally beautiful expression,
To that I’m ashamed to admit…
Was that interest I saw in her eyes?!

Both of us are taken
And I’d likely just cause
Pain and ache
For the people close to us.

Yet again,
Why should I even ponder?
This is just more trouble
An unwanted pregnancy
Invading my life

So I’ll **** it now.
It shan’t have time to grow
Get over it, get over it
Just let it go

She’s so beautiful
I can hardly contain it

Surprise follows in every form
***** at an unknown level
I ask why I didn’t know
She says it’s only since three months ago

I ask
In subtle ways
Just how deep in mud
She is today

Having just started talking
I try to understand,
We’re still to nervous to hold hands

Down and falling deeper,
Don’t know why I didn’t notice
This spiral’s ***** getting steeper

Faster and faster
I’ll keep falling
And won’t notice my change

My trying to stop is,
To say the least,
Useless and annoying

This new depth I’ve reached
Is gradually changing in ways too late to foresee

The slide’s become grainy
First just leaving scratches,
The lower I slip,
The bigger they get

I see my fate
And I was proven wrong
I won’t keep sliding forever down
It will end soon
I’m sorry I’ve been a burden

You try to help me in my initial fall
Keeping you close I thought was the key
We both gave the fight our all
And I realized it was killing us…

Caution to the wind,
I must save my love
I used the rest of my strength
To push you off,
And save you before myself

Now you stand
The small pain of minor loss
Is in you eyes
As I fade from your sight

Now I see what you cannot
The end is nigh
You can tell all but how
And I whisper with my last breathe

In the abyss is forever echoing…
“I’ll love you forever and al— ”

As you come over
My heart beats faster,
Not a soul have I told;
I fear being that bold

Your beautiful eyes
They simply make my voice paralyzed
I want to talk,
Let’s go for a walk

My sister must follow of course,
And now I feel brave as a horse
But the feeling fades fast
Should’ve known it wouldn’t last.

Oh my God! What to do?
Should I just shout it, “I LOVE YOU!”?
No, most definitely not
It won’t show my truest thought.

How can I say it?
There’s only a day left
Can it go just bit by bit?
You’re act is a perfect theft.

Another chance has passed away,
Gone again I begin to pray.

“Oh! Dear God!
Dost thou show me no mercy?!
Why dost thou cause me to suffer?
What day must I wait ‘til?
How far the journey
‘Till I meet her again?”

Suddenly it comes!
The solution is here!
Writing you a poem
Which you just might hold dear.

An unexpected miracle has happened
Long I, the sinner, have asked for one
Intellect and reason said it shouldn’t’ve come
Still I struggled my way to find
Harmony and someone to call mine
And at last it has occurred!

In all ways, though, I was undeserving

Lust to be satisfied with the simple modesty
Over-looked be the flaws in any in this Ruby so rare
Variance is all I can see, make my gem unique and,
Everlasting

Young we may be, but the
Overt happiness we receive remains
Undeniably obvious, and thus my story

For I’ve now spent my time
Excavating for diamonds
And gold for the ring
Alas, I found my Ruby in the rough.

Is this life a dream?
Less realistic than it seems?

We all strive for satisfaction
We all want our happiness complete
But it only happens every so often.

Dreams are our only hope
They are the reality.
The biggest one is to find true love
But many do not think of it coming from above.

Birth place of my first true love
On that one blessed day I came
Wonderful people to be around
Days began that I fit in, then
Over they suddenly are
Never again will happiness be this sure

In a split decision it was lost
Swiped away by my laziness

Helplessly I struggle now
Opposition has already won
My beloved friends all taken away
Effects of my poor choice slowly break the soul

It seems like forever
My love’s been stolen from me
But the tears must stay
Five more years it will be this way

Forced to run,
Forced to hurt
Pain to teach the lesson learned

I must wait
Patiently I’ll try
For no one made this my fate…
But I

I’ll never forget
Nor ever change my thoughts
Five years time,
I’ll still take her for mine

I miss her so
I want to return
Want to taste her kiss
That sweet, flavorful taste
Dearly missed

Yet but to only hold her close
Once a week or so
In secret
Shall keep my sanity at most

I thought it was done,
I had finally gotten over,
Then I hear a sarcastic laugh,
As I see her beautiful face again.

This feeling won’t go away
It’s decided to stay
The beauty is just too much.

The one thing that stops me,
The one thing that haunts me,
It’s the one thing that scares me.

Emotions have never been so strong
And just when I think it’s over
They yell “*******!” and knock me out
To carry on

Deprived in the past,
Never found a caring love,
Can’t get enough,

Whatever the reason,
Whatever the cause,
I just can’t accept my flaws.

I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Get the wish of my life.
Just to have her,
To hold her close,
Please, God, just once.

The stress it causes me,
The rage it forms;
The desire to ****
Goes on and on

I love her
Then I love you
Then I love someone else…
And my only constant loves like me

Round and round and round it goes
When it stops,
Nobody knows

It’ll start a fight
It’ll start a brawl
It’ll make you bleed
It’ll make you fall

I got too sick
I lost my strength
So I jump off…

Chasing cars gets so tiring
I stop to rest
I’ve been giving my best…

You change too fast
I can’t keep up,
Looks as I’ll be last
To drink the most delicious muck

Round and round and round it goes
When it stops,
Nobody knows

It’ll start a fight
It’ll start a brawl
It’ll make you bleed
It’ll make you fall

I got too sick
I lost my strength
So I jump off…

I’ve waited in line for so long
To get on the ride we all glorify
Only to find it’s not so swell,
No wonder they titled it “Hell”

As I ride along I see you
But nobody knows we’re all blind,
And as I wait for you to notice me
I sit and write ****** poetry

Round and round and round it goes
When it stops,
Nobody knows

It’ll start a fight
It’ll start a brawl
It’ll make you bleed
It’ll make you fall

I got too sick
I lost my strength
So I jump off…

I’m getting dizzy…
Colors are fading…
How much more can I take?
Or give?

I’m running out of choices
The ****’s getting scary
I think I’m on the edge
Losing all senses
The balance is gone
We’re all gonna die…

Round and round and round it goes
When it stops,
Nobody knows

It’ll start a fight
It’ll start a brawl
It’ll make you bleed
It’ll make you fall

I got too sick
I lost my strength
So I jump off…

Hey! There’s the ground!
It’s rushing at my face
The pain is exceeded easily
I know I’m dead but,
It’s so much better than living……

Round and round and round it goes
When it stops,
Now I alone know

It made me fight
It cause my brawls
It made me bleed
But I would not fall

I was the champ
I had the strength
But I lost the will…

The flood is coming
The river will flow strong
I try to run but don’t move an inch
I am too different from you all…

A desert is what I want
A desert is what I almost had
I always seem so close
Until I find the flaw.
And not long after is…
The flood

The chance is gone
The people changed and reborn
I feel the pain of suffocation
Just so you have the aesthetic.

Again I begin my search
Looking for a home
I know I want far too much
But I’m offering more for such

Here’s the perfect place!
This is the one!
Here shall be my desert…
Oh God, please…
The flaw is found… again…

A desert is what I want
A desert is what I almost had
I always seem so close
Until I find the flaw.
And not long after is…
The flood

The chance is gone
The people changed and reborn
I feel the pain of suffocation
To make everyone happy.

It seems to me
That everyone has a soulmate
But good old God missed this son
He forgot to make me one
Well He won’t **** Himself.
He left me alone with all I need and more.
He sits and laughs
At my pained desire to find my love to adore.

A desert is what I want
A desert is what I almost had
I always seem so close
Until I find the flaw.
And not long after is…
The flood

The chance is gone
The people changed and reborn
I feel the pain of suffocation
Because of our Father

I carry on
With this pointless search
“Just awhile longer…”
Soon becomes my maxim.

Soon I find it hard to walk
Earlier still my memory fades
Next thing I know my heart is slowing
I can feel my spirit leaving me…

A desert is what I wanted
A desert is what I almost had
I always seemed so close
Until I found the flaw.
And not long after were…
The floods

The chance is gone
The people changed and reborn
I feel the pain of suffocation
As I die with no one by my side…

Second year running
But never told in person
I’m so curious about her
I want to know

Does she know?
Has the news spread,
Is my desire not hidden as I think?

I’ll move away
And miss my chance
Never to be had again
Fading away at my last glance

Or was there a chance to start with?
Maybe my thinking is purely wishful
It was never there,
She’s probably taken by a much better man

Everyone always is,
Fate is against me in this
Twisting and burning
Blasting and killing

Fate tries to tear my desire.

Pain cracks my soul,
As you make me smile for the 129th time today.

How can you be so cruel?
But then again,
You don’t know you do.

This is torture in the extreme;
My love for you goes in secret;
For the fear I so disgustingly deny,
The rejection of your perfect love.

Your mere appearance makes me so full of joy I twitch,
And I feel like killing those who call you a *****.
How odd is this?
To love my tormentor in secret,
Yet she knows she can cause my utmost excessive bliss.

To make a lousy comparison,
I guess you could say
That I am Romeo without a Juliet,
And you - forever my Roseline.

I can’t focus when you’re around.

Longing to hold you close
Obedient without a second thought
Volleys of emotion repeatedly stabbing my heart
Every time I think of you.

Your eyes are always shining
Over my tears of pain the bright beams glare,
Utopia is always there.

I see you read my message
And I don’t know what to think, say, or do
Being honest I can't stop thinking about you

But I guess the answer's no
I'm not the one with who you want to go.
So all that's left for me to say
I hope you see much brighter days

Still feeling as I **** at poetry
I seem to feel so unworthy
Of your interest
Must of all been a test

Maybe I’ve lost,
Maybe I never stood a chance
Or the chance has gone and past.

What if I waited too long?
What if I said something wrong?
Or worst,
I did it all wrong?

I must revive hope,
I must hold this rope
Hold with my life…

You can take the interstate
And great time you’ll make
Or you can take the back roads
The ones few people know

Pick to walk
Or choose to ride your bike
Either way you’ll get to talk

Early evening
Late starts
You’re eventually getting caught

Tell no one
Or tell the one
Your destruction will still come

If you continue this addicting habit
Your mind will bend and break
Love will confuse you
And your soul is at stake

Torn to bits
Judgment clouded
And future gone

Yes she loves him,
Yes she loves you,
And this is how it can all be true

She could love all
Just as much or more
Remember now…
It’s just another way

I am history
A history of a man
A history of anguish
A history of trial
A history of ecstasy
A history of education
I am Me

As a man:

I am a crying babe,
Learning to be spoiled from the start
Always with family and fantasy so loving
Never understanding the little tastes of something ****

I’m a rampaging toddler,
Playing with everything
And destroying it too,
Demanding more attention than exists
Learning from The Magic School Bus

I’m a shy yet straight forward child,
Shunned by peers for excessive knowledge
Yet little skill in its application
In love with a girl who I ask,
“Will you marry me?”

I’m a conflicted pre-teen,
Caught between my knowledge,
Feelings,
And religion
I seek to satisfy everyone and everything
Yet nothing I do is right to anyone

I’m a typical teen,
I’ve more confidence in myself than ever
From my religion telling me what to think
To my friends and family telling me what to do
All of which I say, “I know better than you”
I follow my heart and comes the true killer

I’m a worn man.

As anguish:

A baby spends more time with relatives
Than mom and dad
And they have their faults
Mostly that I’m passed from one to the other
As they don’t want to take the primary care

A toddler finally is with mom,
But dad’s still distant
Dad’s smart, so maybe he’ll stay if I am too
Little sister gets all the attention I wanted

The dream filled child knows so much
But can’t know why
He strays from fact to fiction
And believes he’s a prince
Like Aladdin

Chemically tortured pre-teen can’t think straight
Love is too strong for me,
Yet it makes of him a victim
Or is it lust?
I feel nothing I can trust…

A scarred teen lashes back
At a philosophy called religion,
Abandoning it ‘cause he’s been brain washed,
At people who were friends and family,
They’ve let me down so often,
At intangibles, love and hate and intelligence,
Emotions and notions of torture.

The worn man reflects the past.

As trails:

As a babe, I know not
For memory cannot serve

As a toddler, I know not
For recollection fails

As a child, testing love
Romantic thoughts are planted
Watered thoroughly by the similarly plagued
I loved a Summer, for her I longed
Yet for all my knowledge and all my skill
What little there was,
‘Twas to fail.

As a pre-teen, testing religion
Chemicals called hormones challenge my teachings
I love another,
She is a religious Brit.
Her father a Baptist Deacon,
Pressures me to brag when I become one for the Latter-Day Saints

As a teen, testing thought
Friends and family tell me how to think and act
I think through things with logic and emotion,
However ill it may be,
And ignore all I’m told
I’ve pain to gain.

As man, recovery.

As ecstasy:

I, a newborn, know nothing else

I, a toddler, know little else

I, a child, know some
But it’s confusing,
When happiness comes,
Sorrow must follow

I, a pre-teen, know some
But it’s fleeting
It comes only when things
Are beyond saving

I, a teen, know much
I feel it in every girls’ touch
It’s in my laughter and torture…
I’m a *******?
I find a false happiness in breaking the rules
Set by every, and any, one.

I, a man, hope and seek much

As education:

The baby cares little for knowledge,
Lest I lose attention

The toddler begins the search
Learning all I can and using it
That’s what gets Dad home from work

The child fears himself
I know too much without knowing enough
I can state a fact, but don’t know why it’s true
I can’t tell you how and realize
I’m dumb

The pre-teen learns to learn
I can break down facts
Relate them together
Learn from the book
I can now impress
Though still, I’m teased

The teen is an unscholarly scholar
Learning anything and everything
Applying it everywhere
Drawing definite lines into niches
Unable to contain, and losing the ability to add more
Drawing closer to a heavy door
I use knowledge to disprove everything
I don’t approve

The man is learning
But much slower.

As a man, I’ve seen pain
I’ve made remarkable gain
The person I am today
Is not what’s left of what’s gone away
In the AM, I learned from my own mistakes
That the future may never take

I’m a believer,
Of what I’m uncertain…

Memories of depression
Memories of suicide attempts
Memories of finding nothing left to live for,
Nothing good in my memory outweighs the bad,
So my thoughts turn inward

Why do I continue?
Why do I try?
Why when all hope is lost do I not die?
Because I believe.

But in what?
I believe in Me.
I’m recovery, life, and hope.

She is beautiful
This I know
From my distance
She’s pure as snow

I know I could try
Again but just to fail
I’ve gone insane over this
Without quite knowing why

Radiant and cheerful
She brightens the dreary day
Elegant and wise
She goes her own way

I wish she would
We probably could,
But the choice is hers
And she’s content
Where we’re at.

Because I could suddenly see
Whereas I used to be blind
To all I loved
I could not find
I cared without knowing
That you were my love
And all it took
Was a sign from above

Louder it cries
Seeking the best owner
Having been taken
Without his own pleasure

Consideration is but naught
As she is fed with
Mother’s stony words
Which make her fraught

Neither heart can
Stand much more
In help, imploration,
They seek each other

For alone they fall
Shattered pieces and all
But glued with love
They may defeat all

Scars may ensue
Pain will imbue
Fighting for it will pass
All is not good
All is not good

Every mistaken act
Every signed evil pact
Forgiven to each other
Conquered by the power

Mattering not the enemy
Smashed by our love
It shall be
We can do anything

For alone they fall
Shattered pieces and all
But glued with love
They may defeat all

Scars may ensue
Pain will imbue
Fighting for it will pass
All shall be well
All will be well

All battles won
He finds his master
Her fraughtness becomes not
They now stand tallest

Gone the need of help
Lost is displeasure
Happiness in place
Rejoice forever

For alone they fall
Shattered pieces and all
But glued with love
They may defeat all

Scars did ensue
Pain had imbued
Fighting for it will pass
All was not well
All became well

Scars have healed
Pain’s torment sealed
All is now good
All is forever well

This is the story
My heart has
To tell

Lost forever in my jumbled logic
Actions can say as little as nothing

The tone she uses
Her choice of words
Convince me my actions aren’t hopeless

I know it’s bad
But habits are hard to break
I overheard some conversations

Now I’m not so sure,
Am I that close to my dream
Or is the golden hope
Farther than it may seem?

I seem to have mislead you
I never said I feel how I seem to
This must be confusing you
So I’ll try to lay it straight

It’s over,
I’m done
But I still believe you are the one

I’m sorry it’s true.
But in too many senses,
We aren’t nearly ready
But I still love you

Give up trying to change me
It doesn’t work
When your mind’s not sure
Who’s the one you want mostly.

A friend is what I’ll be
Until you can decide,
Boo, Er, or me

Hope it’s clear
I’m moving on
Good-bye my lover,
I’m outa here.

Care beyond Imagination
I humble myself for you
Maybe this is bad to do,
Expecting you to return it

I have expressed dislike;
I’ve tried to forget
And forgive both, yet
How can I when it’s not finished

This affair is on and off
All I ask is to stop
Causing my mind to pop
Ripping my heart apart

I’ve hurt you, yes
And you me
As human, this must be
Yet we should fix it
Or try

I try to fix my faults
To not hurt you ever the same way twice,
You seem to roll loaded dice
Only with him can you hurt me.

Thoughts of he with you
Plague me since you first mentioned his name,
Seeing you two keep in touch makes me mentally lame
Why so much suffering?

You’ll say to wed me,
That from your heart he will go
But all I know is that I love you so
And uncertainty sets in.

I’ll do anything for you
Sacrifice the world in flame,
Just please, forget his name...
Be mine again...

This feeling’s new…
What the hell is this?

Is it true hate?
This is what it’s like?
To burn and fester?
To have the strong desire to ****?

**** trust!
It doesn't exist!
You lie!!!!!!!!!

I gotta nine…
*****! You’re mine!
Just give me a ******* warning,
Not go and blow it in my ***

*******!
I hate you!
This is the end!
Death to all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chant it all
Let it all come out

Let it burn
Let it freeze
Let it live
Let it die

Give the order
Or take another’s
Aim then pull
Pull then hope

No one knows how it all goes down
All we know is it does go down

Should I twist and shout
Or hide and pout

Choice A, choice B
Even choice C

I wish you luck
Till the day you die
You’ll be told what’s right
But you’ll forget and resist the fight.

Is it for better?
Is it for worse?
To help me grow,
Or tear me down

Torn again I must search
Deeper than before
Making this colossal decision
Requires nothing less than my pure core

Choosing one of two
The question I should ask,
“Who?”?

Or suppose that isn’t right,
Will it keep me all night?
Shall I ask,
“Why?”?

Mattereth not
Who nor why
But maybe my answer lie
With a simpler thing…

“What?”

The beauty of it all,
No, just the beauty of you,
Hits with a powerful force
More than enough to me off course

“Yes, my love?” I respond to your call
Your voice is so sweet
For your love, you know,
I’ll give it my all
To hold you close forevermore.

You’re the only one I see now
I could care less for the rest
Of those little girls
The one woman in my life is you.

I’ll go here
I’ll go there
Wonder way out yonder
Without a single ponder as to why
As long as you want me

I want to be your lover
I want to marry you away
Let’s say forever,
I am here to stay.

As I sit here,
So alone and afraid,
Again I think of you
Thus my heart breaks… again and again.
Over again

I knew this would happen
I just had to wait on your words
The ones that finished me off.
The ones that ended what could only be a dream.

And that’s all it must’ve been
Just my fantasy playing with me.
But dreams can carry over, as they oft do.
The matter of the fact is,
I will ALWAYS love you.

Your kiss I’ll miss.
Your voice will taunt.
And your touch will shock
Blowing me away.

If only it could be true,
If only it could be more
Than I love you.
Cause I still can’t see,
The *“You love me.”

The way you make me feel
It’s flat-out hilarious

You make me drunk!
I fly high, yet I sink low;
Fight hard, yet not at all;
Repent of my sins, yet think *****;
You crack me up, you **** me off.

I wanna ***** you hard,
Yet just a gentle kiss will satisfy.
Just holding you close,
I can hug an angel.

‘Cause that’s what you are,
With your beauty divine.

Wandering endlessly
Mind gone blank
I’ve never been calm this restlessly
Like a bored teller at a bank

I want to care
I want to feel
Of emotion I’m bare
Just a robot behind the wheel

Leading my life
Seemingly the same
But there’s something new…
It’s so minuscule

Through true emotion
I developed friends
The good kind,
That stay ‘til the end

I know them
They know me
Yet all but one
At first could not see

For an unknown cause
The emotion had left
And was replaced
With an artificial shell

The cloning was so complete
No radar could tell the difference
Not even I could tell

Just as he
Stranded in a world
Where wrong and rejection rule
At every turn

I have come to this place
Away from you,
My saving grace
So now I burn

Torment surreal,
Any fleeting pleasure,
Last no longer
Than a symphony’s measure

The tempter cannot snare me
Knowledge of my love’s wait
Keep me narrow and straight
Short deprivation to great rewards lead

So I’ve decided my faith
My religious devotion is not
To He, as Jesus’ be
But to she

I can’t see her
I may not taste
The sweet kiss
Nor hear her melodious voice

Cannot relax in her gentle touch
Nor can her remarkable scent
Fill my nose

My goal to live once more
With my precious sweet
It’s Heaven when we meet

How so few think of God,
I think of you.
It’s to you,
I will be true

Your commandments
I will follow
No exceptions to this rule
Anything you ask,
I’ll do