I'm brain dead
a condition affecting one of those lobes in your head.
One cannot think when their dead in the brain
but the second you try to sleep, you can't stop the thoughts.

Some people want to pass
and achieve with flying colors.
No one has ever told me
that I could succeed with
anything more than Gliding Pastels.

A knot in the back of your throat,
the person you want to hold
to be held by
to sleep beside,
Doesn't want to be held
or touched
or seen
ever again.

You have two choices, a decision to make.

Hold her, comfort him,
say it will be alright
it'll be fine
you will feel better soon.

Or throw him away, forget she happened.
She's no use anymore
he can't make you feel
what you want to feel.

No one is ever mad when they're asleep
How can you be upset when you are at peace
But lying in a bed, sweating through your clothes in the summer heat
Thinking what you'd did wrong and who you did to
The guilt consumes you.

Wishing for the sleep to engulf you,
but it never comes.
Not until you bring it to yourself,
the only final reckoning for your regret and sorrow is an eternal peace.

What do I say
How do I say
When should I say
Why shouldn't I say
I love you
I want you to be mine
But to say you're mine
Would indicate ownership
And you're *******
Free as a bird

I wish I could run like Forrest Gump.
racing towards the unreachable end
numbing my mind to fend
off the thoughts that wrestle for my attention.

The distance would be amazing.
to see every monument
every memorial and testament
to what someone can achieve.

To be greeted and paraded when I finish.
i would finally realize
that i may agonize
over life and over you but I am loved.