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Nov 2011 · 610
freezing (part 2)
it wasn't really that cold
but i pretended
and you went along
so you turned all the lights out
in the house
and came to bed
and after,
you had fallen asleep
and i got up...
the floors creaked
and it was so ******* cold
my feet ached
and i got up
to write
and listened to sad records
and pulled on my sweater
and wrote nothing
Nov 2011 · 536
freezing (part 1)
and it's so god-**** cold i can't breathe
i want you to know that i want you to be
here when i wake up, in case we both freeze.
i pull you closer, for warmth, to me
and i want you to know that i want you
my sweet whispers like chimes in the breeze.
Oct 2011 · 585
you get me
you get me
and that's not true
at all
and every time i say
the stuff that makes me
me
you scowl
or roll your eyes
let's fumble through the *** part
and get it over with
1 ****
i don't need your life story
i don't need a date to prom
you get me
is it true?
at all?
i just need you
to validate the parts of me
that make me
me
when i speak
you seem uninvolved
or somewhere else
let's just stumble to the *** part
my hands on you,
your hands on me
1 good ****
i don't need reality
i don't need you
you get me–
you don't get me
at all
and you can't find love
in a bathroom stall
my eyes were wide open
when you pulled the trigger
but i said love like i meant it
so all is fair
my pockets were empty
when you put the barrel to my head
but you said love like you meant it
so...

and it's figurative
or metaphor
so it's not as serious
but just as dangerous
because i gave you the gun
and all of the bullets
and i said love
and i meant it
so all is fair
so shoot
point blank in my face

my eyes will be wide open
when you pull the trigger
but i say love like i mean it
so all is fair
Oct 2011 · 501
exactly like this
fingers on fabric
electric and prickly
rigid with tension
excitement without limit

the whole time
i was thinking directly of this
the nerves don't shake
like i suspected they would
Oct 2011 · 518
ideals
you wanted louder
so i increased the volume
and let my emotions fend for themselves
you wanted softer
so i released my fists
and took blows that i did not deserve
you wanted more
so i stopped speaking
and let so many things slide
that i would not have tolerated before
but you asked & asked
and my love for you
would not let me refuse
so i became
less of me
and more like
your idea of me…

you wanted true love for ever
so i said okay
and now i hide behind your ideals
Oct 2011 · 732
mortality is beautiful
mortality is beautiful
like a fragile bird
on a floral print
or a bandage on a wound

the truth is always tangled
up like vines
with the untrue

but mortality won’t lie
or turn away its glance
mortality is beautiful
like knowing a sad ending
and smiling anyways
Oct 2011 · 494
touché
you have taken up the habit
of ending all of
our conversations
by saying
“touché”
leaving me
with the sense that
i have won something
and lost absolutely everything
it was cold
and i was waiting for you in the car
and i would wait
for as long as it takes
until my hands wouldn’t work
and my breath was ice
because i love you
but it’s cold
and i wish that you would hurry
Oct 2011 · 929
truth
there were several times when i said the truth
with pride
just because it was the truth

and i got older

and realized that the truth is a dangerous weapon
and i became a pacifist.
like smoke
and flame
and all the things
that people always say
and about how
“where there’s smoke
there’s fire”
and how it’s difficult
to decide
which to be
or become
and if one
is really better
than the other
no one ever tells you
that life can
(and probably will)
kick the living **** out of you
for as long as you’ll let it
no one ever talks about
how heavy your soul
and insides
can get
if you allow yourself
the time in the dark
and how you’ll get to
a certain age
when you look around
and want to scream
at anyone who will listen,
anyone older than you
“where the **** were you?”
“where the **** have you been!?”
and “why didn’t you say?”
“why didn’t you tell me what to do?”
“or how to be?”
“how in hell could you let me decide for myself…
when i knew absolutely nothing…
about anything!!?”
“where were you?”
and you’ll feel like drowning
or something simple
you’ll feel like just the air in your lungs
just the breath in your lungs
is enough
like smoke
or flame
and all the things
that people say
can never stack up
to all that they don’t

— The End —