Humpty-Dumpty sat on the wall
And that was his first mistake
For eggs can be overly delicate things
Quite likely to fall and break

Humpty-Dumpty tottered and fell
Kersplat! He was runny and raw
Desperately scooping his gooey insides
As they spluttered out onto the floor

Humpty-Dumpty twitched for a while
‘Til his innards were down to the dregs
And all the kings horses and all the kings men
Are not paramedics for eggs

**

The moon passed me by
on its lazy patrol
Disturbing the stars
In their ebony bowl
As if all creation
Was carved into coal
I looked to the sky
And it swallowed me whole

A smithy, name of Ronnie Gun
Created an invention
To rapidly distribute lead
Within the third dimension
He buffed away and polished it
Displayed upon his shelf
He loved that thing so very much
He named it for himself

So he used it in the local bar
To order up some beer
But the landlord wasn’t happy
Having rapid lead just here
He said “If you’ll be drinking here
On more than one occasion,
I’ll need a fancy shooting stick
Of the hole-making persuasion

Ronnie hastened off to home
To build another gun
A scientific exercise
He’d do it just for fun
And if perchance he happened by
The local bar tonight
He’d leave it there for safety
With his friendly barman: Dwight

But Dwight was quite a careless man
He waved his gun around
It puzzled him why everyone
Was lying on the ground
By evening a line had formed
Of angry solid angry local
Demanding Guns for everyone
And getting rather vocal

So all week long he toiled away
and though his gun was fine
He took a little liberty
Improving the design
He charged them quite a penny
Growing richer by the day
While his remained to gather dust
Still standing on display

Policemen came that afternoon
With news of great concern
The ****** rate was soaring
And it’s no surprise to learn
The leading cause of death we’ve found
Is holes from rapid lead
We’re going to have to close you down
There’s one too many dead

‘Twas then that inspiration
Hit like lead propelled at speed
Ronnie stood and thus proclaimed
“I know just what you need!
I’ll happily sell you weapons
With reduction to my fee
And just to prove my honesty
I’ll give you yours for free

And soon another queue had formed
Around his little shop
Of people sick of ducking
At the first sign of a cop
It came to pass that everyone
Had bought a gun to hold
So Ronnie made a bigger gun
And counted up his gold

My beautiful love, how I missed you
Though only a day since you died
My life was bereft of all meaning
There was emptiness yawning inside

I knew it was you that could fill it
So I put you, my darling, on ice
And I heated the oven and skillet
And the wok for the 'special' fried rice

First I loved you with boiled potatoes
And a medley of seasonal veg
There was gravy and roasters and stuffing
But I cleared my plate to the edge

I discovered how much I adore you
Marinated in honey and spices
Then stir-fried with noodles and peppers
Once carved into sensual slices

I savoured a sandwich of passion
I was hungry for seconds and thirds
And I marvelled at your generosity
As I fed some of you to the birds

You were soft, you were warm, you were tender
Slow-cooked on a moderate heat
And I'd frozen a chilli-con-carne
For if ever I fancy a treat

But my hunger for you had abated
And each burp was a loving reminder
So I gathered your beautiful carcass
And bundled it into a grinder

For a couple of weeks there was sausage
I was ever so heavily fed
But I wish that I hadn't have killed you
And had battery farmed you instead

***

On a rain battered hillside that looks out to sea
Clings an edifice, sullen and damp
The vacuum of night seems to suckle the light
From a singular, sickly lamp
The sign at the gate is of sun splintered oak
And the letters erased by the rain
‘The Slowcombe Asylum ’ they’d long ago spelt
‘For the Brainsick, Disturbed and Insane’

The cold of the air tangles up in your hair
Like a lingering tendril of panic
And the door to your skin as you venture within
Is unnervingly warm and organic
There’s a hole in the window that lets in the rain
And it’s rotted the carpet beneath
The rattle of wind through the weather-worn blinds
Hides the sound of your chattering teeth

There’s a whisper that nibbles the edge of your ear
And a shudder that skips up your sleeves
But the cry that had clung to the tip of your tongue
Is accosted before it can leave
There are pools of neglect where the shadows collect
‘Til the sunlight has faded from view
The security door is of iron and steel
But it’s broken and hanging askew..

We suffer the misconception
That we nestle on top of the tree
So burning, the need to acquire
That we seldom remember to Be
It’s a fallacy built on foundations
That were laid with the purest of heart
Now we stand in the ruins of greatness
Whilst tearing each other apart

We admire the beauty of shadows
And forget where the shadows abide
We proclaim the virtues of unity
But we’re suckers for picking a side
Our history will be forgotten
A demise of our careful design
For we walk in the footsteps of giants
Yet our stride is in steady decline

“You should never lick a sparrow”
Said my father, one fine day
“The same applies to Guinea fowl
And several birds of prey.
When you’re older, please remember
For I’ll not always be here
That climbing trees and licking birds
Is not a good idea.”