I don't know if I will ever truly be at peace,
the possibility seems to escape me.
But I feel that I can reach a level of acceptance
Embracing my inner turmoil as a part of a whole
Without being lost to the darkness

I tell myself over and over
This life is for you.
You don't need any one's stamp
Yet I still sit waiting for a shining notification
Maybe someone out there approves of what I have made
Maybe someone can finally convince me
I am me and that is what matters

I go to sleep hoping not to wake
But I know I will go on
Day after day
Still wishing
To sleep one last time
With no need to hope any longer

My very first tear from reading a poem
And how sweet it was
Not because of the turmoil that it elicited
But because out there,
Somewhere in this crazy world
There is someone
A complete stranger
That I feel more connected with than myself

Who are you?
Staring back at my nakedness through this fog
I've spent my whole life struggling to know you
Yet you remain the constant stranger;
forever distant
And forever changing.

I imagine myself lying at my deathbed
Thinking back on my life
and attempting to find something I would be proud to have done
Something that was precious time well spent
That was worth it.
So much is superficial and meaningless
Based on the same ideas wrongly followed before us
How is it possible to find any meaning in this place

There is a certain irony in feeling loneliness.
It is not a new feeling
Nor a sudden observation
Diluted by time; and obscured by strangers
But in the end it will always comes back
Like the inevitable winter's morning
Crushing us into an absolute despair.