with a mere stretch of my fingers ive come to feel the loose threads dangling against our badly-tattered relationship. i was tempted to pull them out completely but i remembered, gosh. it was the only thing that tethered you safely enough to not fall from the bridges youve burnt.
so i'd let it be,; let it break away on its own.

i grew to love the sound of your footsteps coming towards me
but now
i'd rather hear them fade away.

i laid my eyes in the light
my irises burned as bright
shadows dance and swayed
the air still as it played

then slowly it turned to red
as tears in my eyes bled
down, it all started to blur
but the fire never seemed fainter

i'm a rose burning in the candle light
petals glowing so bright
scarlet as the flame devouring me
turning into browned ashes slowly...

I think I'm strong enough
For getting on one more day
Without you.

No morning text messages
No silly conversations in the afternoon
No senseless quarrels in the evening
No sweet 'i love you's' in the midnight.

I think I'm hard enough
For surviving in three months
Without you.

No picture perfect memories in my mind
No feelings to feel
Just no life to live...

I think I'm strong enough
For living another life
Without you or your promises or your shadows
Just the heartache inside...

These were things you would never remember
As these were the memories I would never forget.

We were alone
Just you and me
There in your room
We fell silent
As we felt the freedom
In ourselves.

Your stare was cold
And I felt puzzled
I tried to put together
The reasons why
I was there in the first place.

Just two weeks ago
In the night of our lives
We professed our feelings
For each other
The first time
I had cried for you
And the very first time
You shed tears for me too.

It was magical
So golden, almost unreal
In the middle of the crowd
We danced like we knew
Our lives would never
Ever be the same.

That was the first time
I had stepped out of my border
Where I ignored the cautions
And I fell for you.

The receding nights were
Bitter sweet,
The strings had worn out
And we exposed ourselves
To each other
You told me your secrets
And I told mine

Everyday we argued
About where we stand
And if this was really love
It was crazy because everytime
We'd apologize,
And then again
We would tell our love
So ardent and passionate
To each other.

It came too fast
And I felt dizzy in the
Roller coaster kind of rush
You made me feel
I was so overwhelmed
And so head over heels
That I felt unusually happy
With our secret relationship.

Our secret affair
That lead us here
In your own space
With our minds still confused
With our love burning bright;
Even we know for a fact that
What we had
would soon end.

'We would never make it'.
You said.
We're star-crossed
And everything in us
Would be tragic.
But we're young
And madly in love
We don't give a ****
The world is too insignificant
To come between us.

Fearless, I heaved closer
And you whispered
To my ear
'I love you
And I would marry you
Someday dear.'

Smiling, we stepped out
Of your door
And I had once again felt
That this would never
Happen once again
That was the last time
We had spent together
As lovers
And we would never
Ever be the same.

I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you go through each day with this pain
Cutting through your flesh and running through your vein.

I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you go through each night in despair
With our memories haunting you like a sweet nightmare.

I wonder if you dream of me too
Coz honey, I can't escape the thoughts of you
I could feel our love hanging in the air
It controls me and it's just so unfair.

I know what we had has come and gone
But I couldn't convince myself that we're done
I ceaselessly hang on every word you said to me
In hope that someday you'd realize that we're meant to be.

I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you know that I'm still in love with you
I wonder if you feel the same way too.

"We keep this love in the photographs
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still..."
-Ed Sheeran

Sulked in the corner
Sobbing hysterically
Why is the best part of me
Has always been you?

My fingers pressed ******* the strings
Feeling the slow rhythm
I strummed it ever so loudly
'Til my nails hurt and bleed.

Each sound it makes brings a melody
That banishes the stress inside me
I pour all my anger and tears in each beat
And keep the pressure down to my feet.

This is the song of my heart
A perfect kind of art
Where I mosaic the shards of my brokenness
And color it with the shade of loneliness.

This is my newfound love
A bond only I can have
Coz behind this guitar is a story
That only I can understand truly.

All this time I was wondering
Did I ever mean something to you?
Did you care about me?
Did you really love me too?

Did we see things eye to eye?
Or has our friendship changed?
Have I ever crossed your mind?
Are we even okay?

These questions I have in mind
I don't think you'd answer any of it
But baby for this time
Just tell me what you really feel.

Do you want me to go away
And never bother you anymore?
Or do you want me to stay
And bring back whatever we had before?

I hope this poem could answer it all
Coz I don't want to be in this place again
Perhaps I'd read the writings on the wall
And the truth your eyes will say.

Today you broke my heart again
You had me fooled me in your games
You had me smiled with all those words
You had me believed in all those lies
You made me cross the wrong path
You made me think of the worst thoughts
You made me fall for you... again...

Your smile made me forget my anger
Your eyes deluded my emotions
Your breath had me lost in the air
And your presence made me long for you... again...

Why can't you just leave my mind?
Whenever I try to see the worst in you
The more I try to hold back.

Today you broke my heart again
And tomorrow I know you'll do the same thing.

They're locked up inside;
Screaming, crying, begging for help
Longing for freedom
But I can't set them free...

They haunt me everytime
They lurk in the shadows
They visit me in my worst nightmares
And there's no way to stop them...

I'm living with my ghosts;
They are the monsters under my pillows
The nasty ghouls in my head
The devils of my past

Slowly, they eat my soul
They disrupt my mind
They're driving me insane
They're killing me..

Help me ... please help me...
Don't let them take me...
Save me before it's over...
Save me before it's too late..

Coz when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay ...

I closed my eyes
And I saw your face
Gleaming in the darkness of night
You wore your best smile
And it was more than I can imagine.
You're the same guy I've met long ago
And I know you hadn't changed
You're the same person
I longed to see
After all these times.

Here we go again...
After all these years
I never thought you're still
Here in my heart
Occupying the tiniest gap.

I never thought you
Still haunt most of
My sleepless nights
Your memory lingers
And your name echoes
In my heart.

I don't know if I'm in love with you
Or I'm just insane.
I can't let go of you
And that's a bit hard to say.

Hope you know this ain't easy for me.

I thought I've forgotten about you already
I thought I've move on
But I was wrong
Coz every single thing I do
Only reminds me of you...

Lately I feel lost
And incomplete
I feel my self evaluation
Shattering piece by piece.
The shards hurt my numb hands
As I try to pick it up
And everytime
I feel my innocence
Slowly fade inside.

As I glimpse in the majestic
Blue clouds in the zenith
Memories of love unrequited
Comes like echoes that
Incessantly reaches my ear
Yet it seems to me like a
Mellisonant music.

The tune play in the
Corners of my mind
And the butterflies in my stomach
Wanders around...

That's when I utter your name;
Even though it resounded
In my head thousands of times already
It still sound new;
It's indeed special;

Coz you're special.
Yes.
Even if I see you
Just once in a blue moon,
Even our worlds are torn apart,
Even if you've forgotten about me,
Even if you're already taken
By someone I never knew,
Even if you don't care,
Even if you never knew about
These stupid feelings of mine,
You're still the one.

You are the axis where
Most of my days and nights revolve;
You're the fire that
Burns inside of my heart.
You're the main reason
Behind some of my transitions
You're the song my heart is beating to.

You're the person behind
Most of my poems
And you're the most wonderful distant memory...

I wish you only knew about this
So it wouldn't be that hard for me.
But for now I'll just be gazing
At you from afar
With this love in my heart
And your memories in my mind...

I think we're back where we actually started--

There will be no more 'hi' or hello
If ever we'll meet in the street
There will be no more sweet smiles
And innocent gestures
That marks a great friendship in my heart.

We're nothing but old acquaintances
Who've been buried in the depths of oblivion.
We're nothing but an old memory
Buried deep in the portals of your mind.

I don't think I ever cross your mind.

Here I go again
Sitting in the corner of my room
Staring hard at something
I couldn't comprehend.

Then all the memories of yesteryears
Comes flashing back
In a massive plethora of haziness
Where the sequence of events
Are similar to those of a dream...
Everything's blurry, but the feelings
Are real...

Why do I keep on doing the same thing
Each and everyday?
I feel caged by my past
And the shadows of yesterday
Lingers here and there...

Maybe because I want to change something;
Or perhaps I want to repeat the moments;
Back to the times when you're still with me
And the feelings were fresh and clear;
Back where my days and nights
Revolve around your presence...


I hate this.
Really.
I feel stupid.
I feel slaved.
I want to get over and move on...
Oh baby please, set me free...

From dusk until dawn
My head flies into the sky;
My heart travels thousand miles,
Longing for your love...
Darling, I wish you'll be mine...

Whenever I flip the pages of my journal
I feel like my past coincides the present I'm in;
Filled with memories that defined my life
Filled with emotions that drawn me on the inside --

Happiness,
Sorrow,
Excitement,
Boredom,
Sympathy,
Anger,
Anxi­ety,
Self-loathing,

And anything else...
In retrospect, I see all those things
As an indecipherable chain of events
Clustered into a constellation...

And this will forever light up the fragments of my life...

Down that road
Is a place I never wanted to see,
A sound I never wanted to hear,
A painful past I never wanted to feel
Yet it defines most of me.

Down that road
Is a life I used to live --
An unforgettable memory;
A test that wasn't easy
Yet I keep on taking it.

Down that road
Is a secret I never knew
A mystery that had no clue
A lie that seemed to be true...

Down that road
Is a feeling I couldn't bear
Feelings of anger and despair;
A world that didn't seem to care
A sadness I couldn't compare.

...

But down that road
Is a strength I've gathered
A faith that emerged
A price I've earned;
And a lesson learned...