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Oct 2013 · 858
small betrayals
bekha l kershaw Oct 2013
stop acting like emotions exist singularly in the one moment.

if they did; we’d be expressing that emotion for the first time each time we smiled or cried or felt hurt. we’d have no triggers; no memories of previous emotions.

emotions are like mercury in the body. they build up. the presence of them already within the body shapes the way the new emotions are felt and expressed.

betrayal after betrayal is like scurvy.

your body doesn’t really heal in the sense we think of; it covers up the scars with collagen. when you have scurvy, you don’t have enough vitamin a, and body stops making collagen.

and all the old wounds open up again, amongst your new ones
bekha l kershaw Sep 2013
Candles smell best when the day is nearing its end and you feel the weariness in your bones. Favourites flicker like moods and the way the fire dances upon the wick; fresh scents mostly. Zingy citrus and sweet melon and cucumber, and sometimes sweet spice and serenity which smells like old memories.

2. As a sister, I do no know what kind of attributes I wish for a sister. Even though I adore and get annoyed in equal parts by the girl who calls me big sissie, I could not name what it is that I exactly would want. Perhaps, I would enjoy some one such as Nana Visitor as my sister, although one wonders if having actors for a family member is the best.

Kelly Rowland comes to mind, and perhaps I would adore her as a sister the most.

3. I have longed for a brother for a long time, wished I had one just to experience it, mostly. I’d want someone fierce, but someone understanding too. Someone who would not treat me like I could look after myself, and under much consideration, I do not believe there is someone I’d truly want as a celebrity as my brother. Perhaps Olly Murs, if I had to really answer this.

4. Marriage is not something I would wear well, I do not think. It’s not a comfy pair of sweats or a too big sweater. It’s a very pretty dress, or a dapper suit and it doesn’t fit like colourful beanies or a rather fluffy scarf.

5. Books lay in piles about the space entitled my room, old bottles from years before I was born live in their own special cupboards. Piles of intricately made teaspoons and bone-handled knives tuck into boxes upon boxes upon boxes. Old text books barely squeeze into my shelves. I hoard like I breathe.

6.When young and flexible I managed to tie myself in knots; I’d fit in spaces I only dream about now and stretch like I was reaching for the light. Doing such things like the splits doesn’t occur to me anymore, I’ve got a book to read, an emotion to write and a song to hum under my breath.
they answer questions. of what, i can't remember.
Sep 2013 · 604
(drowning)
bekha l kershaw Sep 2013
sometimes i feel like

i’m not really breathing.

sometimes it’s like there’s water

in my lungs.

sometimes i think it’s just because

i’m missing you.
Sep 2013 · 347
untitled.
bekha l kershaw Sep 2013
your fingers were huge

against mine, and i -

i wanted to hold on tightly,

perhaps forever.
Sep 2013 · 1.8k
sonder
bekha l kershaw Sep 2013
i met a boy today

with warm hands

and his fingers bumbled as

they passed me my change.

i don’t think i’ll see

him again.

but that’s okay.
Sep 2013 · 448
forever
bekha l kershaw Sep 2013
the sun will rise tomorrow

and the next day

and the next

and the next,

over and over

and over again,

continuous, cyclic

forever.

too bad to you it’s

positive. so positive.

for it speaks of

ageless tremors and

never ending fears.

it talks of not caring of

my woes, laughing at

my pain.

and it does on

and the next day

and the next day

forever.
Sep 2013 · 520
perhaps (another day)
bekha l kershaw Sep 2013
and i stood, chest heaving

up

and

down,

in socks and clothes meant

for summer.

and the wind, it roared around me

threatening to topple me

over.

and, i stared down the

cliff, stares at the bottom

and i wondered.

wondered what i’d look like

down there.

pale and cold, ****** and broken.

i wondered if i’d jump and

my mind would stay here,

toes buried in the sand

as my body fell, tumbled and

bounced.

i wondered if i’d see the blood,

watch it pool out around me,

feeling calmer than i ever had

and then,

i stepped back from the cliff edge,

perhaps another day.

— The End —