I miss the days
When I didnt have to fake a smile

A summers day will never compare to the feeling of when you touch me
The warmth of our souls when we connect
The feeling I get when you hold me
Kiss me
Love me
No words can describe how my heart beats for you
If you listen closely it will speak to you
But only if you listen with yours

Fighting for a reason to get out of bed
To get out of my head
And to touch the ground
I'm swallowing myself whole
If i dont get up now
There is no turning back
The world has giving me lots of reasons to smile and be seen
But none of thoes reasons are the ones that I need

I hate that I cry every time I think of you.
Maybe not in tears
But my soul feels it.
My body feels it.
Because a pain will never go away
All because you decided to
One day father. I hope you feel the pain too.

I can feel my heart breaking.
It happens all the time.
Your words stab right through me.
You won't ever understand why.
I wish you would just let me be
Because when my heart starts breaking
I cant seam to get ahold me
I can feel it breaking
Shattering like glass
What am i to do when you
....
When i cant fix it anymore
When all of our problems spill out on the floor
Will you feel regret on the day that I left
Or will you say goodbye like we never even met

I sit and i watch you
That look in your eyes
It was just a joke but the fire from your mouth breeds a different story
There's pain where you lay
I wish i could get down there with you too
But you won't allow me
You push me away with your screams and your hate
When you see the redness in my eyes
From a night of lonesome crying
I can almost see you
I wish i could see you
But you push me away with your screams and your hate
And the day that I'm gone
Maybe i will see you
Maybe you will let me see you
      I just want to see you

The darkness surrounds me
Swallows me whole
I sit and watch as the lights go by shimmering hopes and dreams going by one by one
They never knew I was here
Neither did i
As I'm lost in this place of the unknown
By body and soul have froze
Turning days into weeks
Forgetting what the outside world looks like
Wondering if the smell of the trees are the same
Or the color of the dandelions
My head is a comfortable place
But i wish i could escape.

To be happy is a distant thought
A washed up memory that never really exsisted
Lost in my soul from a place far far away
Dark and cold it lays
Never to return or see the light of day
My whole life I wanted to be happy
But now I'm just content.

Content knowing my destiny is to be a slave to life
Never live. Never have meaning. Never be happy.

It's easy to be yourself
It's hard work to be beautiful,
Desired or even ****
I just, one day, want to be
All of those things
It breaks my heart that I can't be that for you

I'm a devil I'm here to take your soul
I'm immortal, I can't fall in love
Ten moons from now I will take you with me
I never thought you'd be my everything
I've fallen in love
But I'm out of time
Goodbye my love
Here take my soul
When you wake up ...
I will be gone

I'm only one
I'm not a million
Why treat me like I am?

around the corner.
underneath  the table
it lays it waits
it speeks to me
when you see it dont run
stay and play
keep it warm
feel its power
understand it's love
don't be afraid
take it in
i want you to stay

It hurts your  feelings
so you hurt mine
i love you to death
thats why i'm ready to die
tomorrow is a never
today has gone by
goodbye my dear love
it was a fun ride

The answer to life is death

Sitting all alone
Bored to all hell
Watching shobitz tonight
Especially  knowing this isn't right
How is it right to obsess about strangers
People we watch or see on movie posters
These poor people have no private life
I guess that's what you get
When you sell your soul
To the
LIGHTS
CAMERA
ACTION!!!

Yellow is your color
To bad your not mine
You're dancing around in my head
I wish u would just go home
Nothing makes since
The pain hurts to much
Red is my color
To bad I'm not yours

A b c d e f g
**** this poem
I wish it was more interesting....

You're beauty
I'm the beast
I wish you would come save me...

Why can't you hear me?
Pain hurts most when it's deep down.
The cigarette smoke that fills my lungs
Makes me happy because it kills me.
It ***** to get pretty and not leave the couch.
It ***** to be unhappy,
And you're not allowed to explain why..

Dying....all alone
My hearts been dying
For far to long

I see you!
You're right there!
....hello there
Why are you swinging?
Can I join you?
Hello
Answer me....
Please.
I came here to see you.
Why won't you answer me?
What's that smell?
Can u hear me?
Will u please answer?
I'm coming closer...
I want to play with you.
.....
........
............
What happened?!
Are you okay?!
Wait I know who are!!


To be continued

"Days like these r the days I love. High and with people I love no worries in the world. "

Florida in 2 weeks 
Scared feelings of forgetfulness 
Life is great 
Will there be better
Will they stay
In the touch of a cloud like today
Tommorow is new
Yesterday is far away
Days in todays always stay
Forever is a never 
A excuse to pervers men
Yet tomorrow is new
Don't stop 
Chug chug like a train

It's hard not to cry
When all I wanna do is **** myself
It's hard to not show my pain
Each and every single day
It hard to know you don't understand
I wish you did
I wish you did

I cut myself to see the blood
I hurt my self to feel something else
It ***** so bad when it's not enough
I wish it was
I wish it was

A secret told between two souls

The stars of our scars on each others hearts

The warmth of a touch so deep so pure

The skip if a beat when you look at me

A disease of our souls

A game of pain when you walk away

The joy deep down when you come back to me

Oh, what is love?

Invisible like a shadow
There but no one cares
Like Peter Pan
Terrified of who I
Or maybe I don't understand

It hurts so bad,
I know I ****** up.
I'm sorry Justin....

My heart feels empty.
You left me
You're gone.
I'm sorry Justin...

I didn't mean to break your heart.
Please take me back.
Please forgive me
I'm sorry Justin...

My heart has blown up.
I'm screaming your name
I'm beggin god PLEASE help me..
I'm sorry justin...

The love i have for you,
it's so ******* strong.
The thought of life with out you.
Every ******* thing is going wrong!
I'm sorry Justin...

I hope you can forgive me.
I hope you can turn the other cheek.
I'm sorry justin, please come back to me.

So i asked her, Is it all real? Heaven and Hell?
she replied, I don't want to talk about it.
And then I woke up.

Hello there.
Are you still here?
I can hear you.
where did you go?
Hello there?
is that blood all around?
ARE YOU OKAY?
why aren't you makeing any sounds?
I'm scared now...
come out please.
Where did all the lights go?
please come out. i'm so scared now?
why are you playing games?
Hello There?
Please answer me..
did you die?
Did i die?
Is this me?
Hello there...
please answer...
....
....
....
To be continued...

I just wanna give up.
Say **** this love and shake it off.
You never give me your all.
and all I ever want to do is fall,
in love again.
I've lost my heart...
You stole it.
Well i gave it.
Now i regret it.
I hate what you have made me.
Do you even care?
Do you even know,
Know I am who I am
because of you...
Some times i wish i never met you.
I hate you
You disgust me.
My rage inside makes me cry.
And you only care about your self.

What is peace but a fight that is won
what is peace but two wrongs that was made "right"
what is peace, it's not what we think
peace is a state of mind
not many can get there
peace is every where.
we just choose to take the hard way.

I never knew, I never knew.
You were leaving,
never comming back..

I never knew, I never knew.
that when you said goodbye,
it would be for the last time.

I never knew, I never knew.
how to love anyone else
I though, it was you.

I never knew, I never knew.
That you had died that night.
I just thought you didn't love me anymore.

I never knew, I never knew.
You were on your way home.
You were going to say sorry.

I never knew, I never knew.**
and now i never will....

I am a single mom
even though his father lives with me
we love each other
we sleep in the same bed
but i am alone
always gone
either business
or pleasure
always here
i never leave...
alone
alone
      *Alone

Oh Sunshine,
They all told me not to be with you.
They told me you were a gateway to bad things.
I found out one day in my car...
They lied to me!
You're amazing.
You take me to new places.
I've seen so many things.
You even saved my life once when I was 19...
I love you so much.
Thank you for showing me the truth.
Oh ****, dear ****.
xoxo
-Becca D.

We all start the same,
a ***** and a egg.
Then we are born.
Some are shaped and molded
made to perfection
never to be folded.
But some are like me,
we shape ourselves.
We hate those people,
who get put on shelves.
But deep down inside,
I wish I was molded.
Not folded and turned
I wish I was a trophy
to show on the shelves.

I will never forget,
the first time we met.
Your eyes were blood shot red.
Your best friend was my pet.

You were so cute, and funny.
I secretly wanted you to be my honey.

Now we are so much more.
You drive me crazy,
but you will always be my baby.
My heart belongs to you.

I am so happy that when you walked through that door.
Your best friend introduced you as

JOHN HOLMES JUNIOR :)

You remind me of so much.
So many times,
memories.
They will never fade.
My heart has a spot.
That spot belongs to you.

There sitting in the tiny chest
is MY secret to happiness.
When i open it up...
I can smell it.
When i feel it...
My worries go away.
Let's go turn that green to gray

Oh bently
little bently
you are my pride and joy
oh bently
little bently
you're amazing
oh bently
dear bently
PLEASE STOP GROWING!

I just can't take it anymore
this feeling
its driving me
your driving me
i hate you
all you do is leave
"be home later"
i'm left  here
with OUR son
it pains me
i hate this
i'm so lonley
you have fun
I'm not involved
do you even
love me
it's hard
not to cry
i really wanna
die...
i wish you
would just stay
stop leaveing me
or i'm gone....

You have problems
Just like we all do.
except you take yours out on me
you lie
and lie
all the time
did you think I was that stupid?
maybe I am...
I do let you control me
I do let you lie to me
so maybe it's me
I'm the fool
I'm the one who lets you treat me like a tool

She stood there for over a hour
people walking by
all she wanted was for someone to say hello
that little word..
it could mean so much
exspecially to someone so small
her tears started running
its like a marathon on her face
still everyone walks by
not a speck of worry
not even a trace
she takes one more step
she's close to the edge
there is no turnning back
she can never go back
she freezes just standing there
so close
so close....
is it possible that the world has stopped?
her heartbeat is all she hears
She forgots about her worries
she have no pain
no fears
for a moment she is happy
and then she forgot to breath
that jump wasnt so bad
could this be a dream
she sinks to the bottom
her body hasnt moved
but then the next thing she knows
you're takeing her from the blue
you scream her name
whisper your love
her heart belong to you once
you told her she wasn't enough....

I've died inside at least a million times.
I didn't know i could live this long.
I've cheated death one to many times,
and now i'm about to die.
The world looks so pretty,
so wonderful,
so true...
But wait until she shows you what she's got in store for you...

There was a man who carried his heart
in the palm of his right hand.
He had a grande, that lay the other way.
He just stood there with them both in his hands.

The first time we met he held out them out.
Then asked me to choose my lover.

I choose the granade,
and i left the heart there to fade.

He ripped out my heart.
Put the granade where it belonged,
and told me to have a nice day.

I'm walking alone and a fellow comes along
with a smile from ear to ear.

he said i think i love you, i do
your so perfect it's true.
oh please, wont you be mine?

So i waste no time,
and fell in love on the drop of a dime.

But then my heart explodes.

WARNING:
A very very ***** parody of the song "Lips of a angel" by Hinder
(listen to song while reading, it will make more since)
(See notes for more details)


Honey why you queefing tonight.
It's kinda hard to **** right now.
And honey why you queefing,
is everything okay?
I like the way your whispering eye sounds.

Well, my ***** in your *******.
Sometimes I wish it wasn't.
I guess we never really lubed enough.

I heard you like to play with toys.
You're screaming my name,
was that a *****?
Coming from the lips of and angel,
the way you ***** it makes me seep.

And i, never want to see your brown eye.
But girl you make my **** hard and playful.
With the "lips" of an angel.

It's funny that you're queefing, right now.
And yes, i've dreamt of this too.
Dose he know you're ******* with me,
can we please just try.
Baby please don't say you have to poo.

Well my ***** in your *******.
Sometimes i wish it wasn't.
i guess we never really lubed enough.

I heard you like to play with toys.
You're screaming my name,
was that a *****?
Coming from the "lips" of a angel,
the way you ***** it makes me seep.
And i, never wanted to see your brown eye.
But girl you make my **** hard and playful.
With the "lips" of a angel.

I heard you liek to play with toys.
you're screaming my name.
was that a *****?
Coming from the lips of a angel
the way you ***** it makes me seep

And I never wanted to see your brown eye.
But girl you make my **** hard and playful,
with the "lips" of and angel.

I never wanted to see you're brown eye.
But girl you make my **** hard and playful,
with the lips of a angel.

Honey why you qeefing tonight.