You mock me
Torment me
Unravel me
With your grins

You are just worthless
A dirtbag
I’ve tried but nothing gives

How you consume me
I hate it
Your temper never lies
Oh yes, I sit here
in silence
With only hurt left in my eyes

Inside I know it
And soon they will
You’re nothing but a ******* blow hard.

I’ve had it.
You’re so oblivious.
It must be deliberate.

I’ve been waiting
For you to see me,
Pay attention.

But now

I’ve had it.
Your jokes aren’t funny.
They’re old and tired.

And soon

You’ll realize
That what was good,
You could’ve had it.

So please

Spare me.
I’ve had as much as I can stand.
My time is precious.

And now

You broke this camel’s back.

More? You want more?
Look at you,
   you drunk *****.

Mess. You're a mess.
Letting his hands
    run up your dress.

Fool. You're such a fool.
Getting **** drunk
    cause you think it's cool.

****. You filthy ****.
Stumblin around
   with your eyes all shut.

End. Now it's the end.
Slur 'goodnight'
     to all your hook up friends.

You disgust me,
                     With your floral patterned minis.
I despise you,
                     With your double pierced nose.
What’re you wearing?
                     That’s a shirt, not a dress.
You’re just inviting,
                     With your neon colored tights.
It’s easy access.

I think it’s funny how you wear
Your hair pulled back just right
With your necklace lying perfectly
On your fake-n-bake skin.

I know who you’re trying to impress,
Gooping your eyes with mascara,
Coating your face with bronzer
That makes you shimmer ten shades darker.

It’s not your boyfriend.

You’re not fooling us.

It’s as exposed as your cleavage.

You spew your *******
Like a volcanic eruption,
Letting your words sink in
Til they’re set in stone.

You ride my opinions
Like your high horse,
Trampling those that don’t
Measure up to your standards.

You stand up on your soap box
Like the town gossip,
Spreading your rumors
To all that will listen.

But I block all your chatter like websense,
Refusing to allow it,
And outsmarting your proxy.

I speak I write I sing I yearn
for something more than just discern
cannot grasp, not tangible
what I long for's impossible
to find if you are trying to seek
in the mean time I must fill my need

I speak I write I sing I crave
to be the best without delay
learn the most and fill my brain
speak the truth without refrain
have the fame, know where it's at
hope that others will know that

I speak I write I sing I wish
for someone who will share my bliss
ful tendencies, who will want me
rely on me to fill their need
tell me that they know I can
cause

I speak I write I sing I am

Entangling my fingers on the curly q's across your chest
You're nibbling on my ear as you help me get undressed

My heart is pounding, mind is racing
You kiss me fiercely, we're embracing

On my back, we're on your bed
You've pinned my arms above my head

Hold me, squeeze me, kiss me, please me
I am yours to be led.

I straddle both fields,
        
                  Knowing and dreaming.

I know the difference,

                  Achieving and wishing.

I achieve what you want,

                  Pushing and striving.

I push for greatness.

But not for you,

                   For me

how can I describe the sweetness of your breath
          as I inhale it
the roughness of your chin
         when you kiss me
the stubbiness of your nails
          as you clutch my hand in yours
the tickle from your diaphragm against mine
          as your bed time breaths steady and deepen
the softness of your eyelids
         always hidden by your glasses
the coarseness of your hair
         as its laced between my fingers
your dynamic eyebrows
the gaps between your teeth
your long second toe
I can't sleep, I'm hyper aware of your presence next to mine.

She was mystical
                            beautiful
                  ­                      an angel in the flesh.

You were gullible
                           swoonable
                                      a romantic, nothing less.

I was tired
                   unwilling
                               a friend at its best.

Her call was alluring
                                    entrancing
         ­                                     a song to summon all the rest.

And it was too late
                             hopeless
                                       you didn't have too far to fall.

But she caught you
                               that demon
                                         with her deadly siren's call.

I didn't need her to tell me not to.
The tubes running from her nose, behind her ears, across the floor
they speak for themselves.
But there's something about being here,
knowing she was.
And that we both enjoyed this landscape
as we lit,
an end for her
and a beginning
for Me.

Rumpled sheets
Stacked dishes
Heaped clothes

Agenda
Script
Novel
Novel
Novel

Slipping shoes on
Arriving almost
Staying after

Dedication
Perserverance
Optimism

Did anyone ask you?

your protagonistic role
in my life
hinders my ability to
live.

your constant state
of self loathing
dampens my chances at.
optimism.

and yet,

your charming appreciation
for  my ethics
impassions me to
strive
and
yield.

I read you like a novel
Finishing you in one sitting.
I browse you like a webpage.
Clicking every single link.
I study you like a text book.
Preparing for my final exam.
I feel you like brail.
Comprehending each and every ridge.
I know the tale you have to tell.
It’s written in your face.

Invitation to my First Exploration

of a Neighborhood I now call My Own

My Gateway to Assimilation

My Window to the World

My source of Freedom

         when the Streets , the City are otherwise Unreachable

A Place for Habit

          that Cannot be carried back

A Record Player of Noise, Music, Conversation

  Foreign and yet Familiar

A Home for my Drying Rack

  of Thoughts, Ambitions, Fears

An Escape from the Chaos

A Last Glance

at the Reality I Will Never Forget