i thought i knew you,
but deep within, you are not who you say you are.
no one knows the real you, but i found you.
i know who you really are.

i've known you for a while,
oh, how lovely i thought you were.
i opened my eyes,
i saw the lies concealed within what i believed was the truth.

you don't love me.
one day you will come to your senses,
you will realize who you really want.
it isn't me who you crave.

without you
i don't know where i'd be
or if i'd be

if you only knew how many tears rolled down my cheeks,
you being the reason behind them.
you told me i was beautiful inside and out, i believed you.
little did i know, you'd be so quick to get up and leave.
like you never meant a word you said.
my pillows are stained with my tears, from crying so late at night.
that's when i think of you the most, wishing you were beside me.
brushing my hair back with your fingers,
kissing every part of my body,
wrapping me up into your arms,
holding me as though you would never let me go.

you let me go.

i need to vent.
**** the rhyme schemes,
**** a deeper meaning,
and **** the complex words.

i'm holding back tears,
choking on sobs,
it hurts my throat.

in the beginning,
i didn't want to be with you,
i wasn't ready,
i liked being alone.

i gave you a chance.
now, i'm falling for you.
head over heels, hopelessly in love.
you're different.

you make me happy,
you are the reason why i get out of bed in the morning.
you make me feel beautiful,
inside and out.
you are flawless, you are my heaven on earth.

i'm over thinking things,
but i can feel you getting distant.
i don't want to hurt,
i need you to stay.

i'll be good to you
i'll be everything you need
and more.
i want you to want me,
i need you to need me,
i need you to love me too.

anxiety gets the best of me
and i dont know where to turn
should i accept the weight on my chest
and let myself crash and burn?

i feel suffocated
i can hear my heart pound
sometimes i wish i was dead
little does everyone know
im going crazy within my own head

i came across these little pills
meant to help the pain
they keep me calm
like the relaxing sound of rain

i wish i could make this on my own
but i realized i need help
ive been asking for support
like a dog begging for attention, letting out a yelp

something is holding me back
i cant get what i need
in the mean time ill be waiting
left alone to bleed

ill be taking those little pills i love so much
to keep my mind at ease
they keep me going everyday
but before i become addicted
i need help, please

It's late, and I'm sad. I've been crying, I've been thinking.
If I just disappeared, who would miss me? Who would notice? Who would try to find me?
I can't determine my death, but fate can.
Unless I tamper with my destiny, and make it what I want it to be.
I could easily **** myself, without pain, or with it.
I want to fall asleep, dream of a perfect world, and never wake up.
I could easily find a knife, or a razor, I could bleed out.
I could overdose on painkillers, because I have them right at my fingertips.
I could drown, or hang myself, or shoot myself.
I could jump off a bridge, or a building.
I could do all of this, and I do consider it, but I could never fulfill it.
The thought of death calms me, my soul wouldn't inhabit the body I have now.
I'd be free, free from reality, and worries.
I wouldn't carry this life on, it would just end.
Who would it effect? Who would finally acknowledge who I am?
People who once hated me, or talked **** about me, would all of a sudden care.
They would say, "what a shame, she was so beautiful."
People lie, they're careless, thinking words don't hurt.
They have no idea what I go through, what I think about, what I want to do.
I couldn't leave my mom, she's holding me back.
I wouldn't live for anyone else.
If I died, I would be remembered, but remembered as a girl who was too weak and broken to live,
too sad to move forward.
People would move on, and I'd be pushed to the back of their minds.
If I could simply die without anyone knowing, I wouldn't be here now.