My heart bled crimson roses as she lay in silence.
Body still yet fluttering, floating above all else.
She covered what the world found beautiful and hid even more that which was herself.
That which I call beauty and whole.

Sometimes I wish I was born as the man that resides within my head.

Maybe it would be easier then.

Maybe people would forgive without a second thought.

Or make excuses for my flaws.

But I wasn't.

I am to be flawless as a woman with the mind of a flawed man.

I think it's kind of like Athena sprouting from Zeus's head... they just were.

How incapacitated can I get
Before the thought of You
Isn't You but just you

Lungs coughing up truths
Instead of smoke
Backspacing lines
Instead of snorting them
Tears fill my glasses
While top shelf stays top shelf

More people more souls
I'll consume all that I see
Anything to keep You from Me

Left logic
Can't stop it
I've told the truth before
It's all an equation
No need for Fantasia
We've all seen it before
Don't ask me a question
You won't like the answer
The left side takes over so soon
I'd tell you you're pretty
But it'd be out of pity
The left side is talking to you

I've caught myself standing in the rain with paper dreams of you.
I try to sprint through puddles, but I'm in concrete shoes.
Burdened by the sun, she hides her shame of me.
Clouds cover her warmth, she hides her shame of me.
Droplets resemble needles to the tender heart.
Thunder rumbles along with that blackened spark.
Cleanse my soul and set me free.
The sun, she hides her shame of me.

Tell me.
That voice inside of your head.
The one you claim is God.
A God telling you to hate individuals.
Does it sound similar to that voice saying you shouldn't eat that second piece of cake?
Yeah, that's your conscious. Not God.
You're eating away at your outlook on life...and also eating your way into another size up in mom jeans.

Get some perspective.
And a gym membership.

Don't even think about ******* sitting with us.

**** ME NOW.
It's like a slow burning brand
cooling down in a bucket of ****** water.
Transparent life support failing me sweetly.
Sweat that even taste sweet.
Can't cover imagination's eyes.
I'M A SINNER.
I call upon the definition of "love"
because it is defined.
Perhaps I scream too much.
MORE.
Crawl on knees to me, Dove.
Bury your lust and fears
in my thighs.
I'm the side effect
not the medication.

Thanks for being here.

I felt the cold steel graze my lips.

Thrusting it deeper down my throat.

It was the closest thing to a **** that's every been near my mouth.

Bang bang, Baby.

Mountains do weep
When greeted by the Cardinal
Soaring low exposing underbrush
Where villages hide in plain sight
Mighty rivers break the Earth
Carving paths to new worlds
Oh, how the mountains weep
Not with tears of loss
With waterfalls that build pools
Pools which provide to the village
Pools of brilliant blue
Surrounded by new growth
Consumed with love
Overwhelmed by life
Mountains weep to provide

Have the windows always been closed?
The blinds, I mean?
What's the point of a window with no light?
The sun, I mean?

The joy is perhaps what I really meant.
Where is the joy?

Why aren't we looking out our windows?
What's so awful we refuse joy?
Simple, simple joy.

A bird leaving its tree.
The breeze pushing the pollen.
Sounds of life and love and laughter and fear.

Oh there it is.
It didn't take very long to remember.

That's why the blinds are closed.
That's why the windows will never be open again.

What the Hell is this?!
Jealousy?
Betray?
Angry?
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

You kept that stare
Such reassuring eyes
"Oh I loved her once. Not now."
You made me feel less
Though I gave it my best
Now I'll end it before I can cry

You two faced *****
I'm tired of this ****
You'll never look down again
You tell me she's nothing
Just one of your buddies
When really you're covered in sin

Now things are over
You cry that it's over
But really there's comfort there
She's right next to you
In the picture you took
Two weeks after we're through

So tell me again of your love that you kept
Kept only for me
And how I'm so perfect
No other girls worth it
Because I was your cookies and cream.

A young beau peeks between
the branches
of the old willow tree
To see his maiden's reflection
Bathing before the Gods
Bearing her body
Touched with soft light
Gentle winds push her irresistible locks
Suddenly he is there
Standing before her
Brought out from behind
By lover's trace
He stood before her
Shielding himself from the Gods
When his maiden spoke
In hushed tones

*"Come. Let us wash those sins away."

I apologize..

I never, I never meant to stare.

It's just...

I never want to lose sight of what's real.

My ******* gracefully draw across my lips.
Retracing the lines she placed there.
Fingers only mocking the sensation and my foolish coos.
My senses fall into a void filled with dreams that call her name.
Screaming hums on lover's lips.
As my eyes shut the vision reappears.
How green is the grass that grows behind those eyes?
No goddess could create such a green.
A flower in full bloom that bleeds light and sings to deaf ears.
The blind only know of her beauty for it is unimaginable.
No art could compare to the brush strokes of her heart.
Oh how heavy a head feels until it lays upon love's chest.
My goddess protects you as I do.
I inhale all the essence though little never bleak.
She gives what she gives to me.
But how I breathe so carefully when her essence be all that I seek.

Pretty, pretty empty words bring fire to the *****.
Pretty, pretty empty words turn women into toys.
Pretty, pretty empty words make hearts bleed out cold.
Pretty, pretty empty words can steal a lover's soul.

Won't you miss my pretty words that charm and enchant?

Won't you miss my pretty words that fill you with regret?

For if you say these pretty words...
My heart draws near to death.

Helped the self right out of the front door

That's what happens when women read

Forced to say words I never meant
I left all I ever wanted alone in a ditch
Pretending it could survive on its own
Using an excuses not to pick up the phone
Crippling every thought I've heard
Regret, heartbreak, blanked emotion
Completely unheard
Leaving certain parts me behind
All while trying to hide
The joy that it brings to my life
Irreplaceable love lust wrapped up in a bow
Tucked in sweet at night
Things made to let go

Halt, stop in the name of...
      nothing, really
          metaphysically speaking
Who am I to say go?
      who am I to say I
          who am I
Waiting on a light change
      electricity, right?
          determining my fate
Look at these people
      a Rolodex of souls
            faster than a flip
Reflective frames on my face
     mirroring their souls
            projecting mine
Are they moving slow or fast?
     trans-dimensional spy glass
            warped speed
Oh, look it's green
    game over.
            goodbye.



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My empty feels empty.
Being the last vibration of an echo.
Keeper of lasting words.

Be thee still here.
In the quiet of your eyes.
Sonic boom through the sky.
Carry away on whispered wind.
Navigating stars from downward sights.
Sails form from broken sky.

My empty feels so full!
Dust of Saturn's rings brush through bangs!
Breathless life! It is time!
Celestial waves glide like ice!
Pluto is warmest on the other side!

Smile for I see no light!

Smile for I am the light!

I am free! I am flight!
Through those lives cured of ill!
Finding joy forever still!
Venus off the port side now!
God's creation without a frown!

Smile for I see no light!

Smile for I am the light!

I'm trying to find a delicate way of saying, "You two-faced, judgmental, backstabbing, heartbreaking harlot! How dare you make me feel anything less than myself! I worshipped the quicksand you walked on until it ****** me under! Leaving me glad to gasp for air as the filth filled my lungs! Because I'd rather suffer a slow painful death than feel what I feel for you one minute longer! You oblivious woman!"

Oh, I've got it...
"I hope love finds you. Farewell."

I cry at just about anything nowadays
It's nice to feel
Others aren't as lucky
Ha, lucky
Like luck has something to do with it

Snakes don't walk,
they slither
Around the
corner of your eyes
Piercing through the first
layer of skin
You shed,
we shed lies
Come forth,
blind woman
What a waste land,
heart echos are
No hands on the
violet flowers
Slide down the alabaster
gown
Fetch my pale of water,
Golden Arrow girl

How bright is she
who plays in the dark
A ruby wrapped in clover
is she
Watch the Sun lie
over time
Engulfed in all that
seems free
Crawl backwards on
hind legs

Quickly now
She's coming
You hear her
It's she

…click clack who's afraid of that

Sit now quiet
You can't let her hear
Hear all of the things
A Ruby wrapped in clover
Engulfed in the blackest of dreams

Glance away she's magic
It's behind the eyes
Maybe green or lightening or three
Don't look too close
You'll see nightmares

…click clack or maybe dreams

Have you seen the troubled youth these days?
They're not very troubled at all.
They create their own illness then spread it amongst the masses of degenerates.
The symptoms consist of debauchery and disrespect.
They yell to the crowd, "Look at me for I am broken."
No. You are fixed...fixed onto the idea that one must be troubled to be different.
Oh, have you seen the troubled youth of today?
They're not so troubled after all.

My love is not a rose for a rose be too common
My love is not one to be described as flowers
She is but a drop of rare rain to the desert plain
Something my heart can hardly contain
My love is not a rose, no
But an indescribable thing
My love is like the unseen rings of Saturn in the spring

An unread letter lay on the floor...
Just within fingertips reach...

Words rolling off the pages
Crawling back into the pit of a mind

Apologies floating aimlessly through the verse
Landing on miniaturized egos

Goodbyes that never found ends
Hellos that never saw sunlight

Tongues dancing behind pressed teeth
Screaming into an airless void

Forced ideas birthing forced patience
Forced patience birthing forced faith

What are you waiting for?

**Just open the ******* letter, why don't you?

I was a good poet once.

Now I'm a dead girl twice.