I didn't know I was spiraling until...

I felt the nauseous in my toes

My arms began to lose all sensation of ever holding someone

My mind not knowing up from down, left from right, love from lose

How spinning on this plastic horse has worn me down
Get me off this ******* horse

Virtigo be my new name for I have no sense of direction

I didn't know I was spiraling until...
I had already *lost control

Reading the words "nevermore."
Feeling hearts that never soar
Black wings of Poe's raven
Tried to make my own safe haven
Found the body under the floor
Heard Lenore scream "nevermore."
Couldn't close my eyes to rest
Hold my breath til my death
Hear the thump or break the boards
I might cry "nevermore."
Clinching jaw, blood is drawn
Fingers break to evolve
Cover all the missing doors
For she has called out
"Nevermore."

You must be
so embarrassed

You're not a tree
Not a single leaf could fall from you
Yet you stand proudly in the forest

How silly you must seem
To all the real trees
As you stand there and plee

"I'M A TREE! I AM A TREE!"

Then where are your roots?
Because you're running
Then where is your shade?
If you have any.

You must be
so embarrassed

You're not a tree.
You're a lamppost.
Someone else gives you life.
While a tree produces its own.

Your eyes must be owned by a corporation
That soul so burdened by propaganda
You've got commercials running your brain
The internet runs through your veins
Rather a 'like', a 'view' or a 'share'
Living in a reality that isn't there
Add that filter to hide your tears
Post about your latest fears
Hide the things you truly hold dear
Because those things make you, You
But perhaps the blinded masses will do
Hide behind illuminated screens
Never letting them hear you scream
Passive aggressive love links now
God, society has turned to clowns
I want to touch a human soul
Yours, in fact, I'd like to hold
But you'll never see me standing here
Because I'm outside
And you're in there

Maybe if I wasn't wrong all the time I would see the right sitting to my left
If all these little things didn't haunt me
I'd just stare at the large things I refuse to see
Body swimming in an ocean of cement
Everything I do is a contradiction to the truths
Yet I claim to speak nothing but
What a ****** fool I've been

What weary winged doves do rest on mother's chest
As crimson sisters draw near
With them grows darkness
Bringers of doubt and dreary dreams

"Worry not, lovely doves."
The mother says so dear

For she carries them as light on high
To never feel the exhaust of fear

In new homes the doves do rest
In light and brightness and glee
Living on above the darkness
The living the sisters fear

Thanks for being here.

Do we crave the Universe's womb?


Sweet cradle that does rock us to sleep.
Travel around the Sun, they say.
Celebration to be had that day.
Walking atop the blue skies.
Do remove the gray matter and see.
Laying under treetops to feel small.

And safe.

And insignificant.*

Yet we dare to dream of riding the shoulders of Our Universe.


How unfathomable.

I AM VOID.

I AM INVALID.

I AM A SKELETON.

You never truly stop being that closeted little creep who stares at your crushes during P.E.

That feeling never goes away..

Those girls still don't want you to look at them, and they sure as Hell don't want your compliments..

So you're stuck a fully formed freak for the rest of your life.

Confused by all of the "I usually don't but you're different." You think it's flattering but it's just disguised heartbreak.

Just like those girls in the locker room during P.E.

What would you say if I was the Angel of Death?
It isn't as far fetched as seemed.
Something seems to always die.
It's my fingers; they're rotting.
See?
My fingers are stained with your rotten flesh.
I once brought life to things.
I watched them grow.
But now I watch them die so slow.  
You'd think I'd be so sad.
But I can not find one sigh.
I told him he had to let go.
See?
He needed me to give him relief.
I'd do the same for all sweet souls.
If they ask me so sweet.
Life isn't about how you die.
It's about how you kick rocks and cry.
He wanted this.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I'M JUST DOING WHAT I'M TOLD.
No one loves an Angel of Death.
Probably due to lack of soul.

My empty feels empty.
Being the last vibration of an echo.
Keeper of lasting words.

Be thee still here.
In the quiet of your eyes.
Sonic boom through the sky.
Carry away on whispered wind.
Navigating stars from downward sights.
Sails form from broken sky.

My empty feels so full!
Dust of Saturn's rings brush through bangs!
Breathless life! It is time!
Celestial waves glide like ice!
Pluto is warmest on the other side!

Smile for I see no light!

Smile for I am the light!

I am free! I am flight!
Through those lives cured of ill!
Finding joy forever still!
Venus off the port side now!
God's creation without a frown!

Smile for I see no light!

Smile for I am the light!

I apologize..

I never, I never meant to stare.

It's just...

I never want to lose sight of what's real.

So she built a wall.

This wall was not only strong but beautiful.
She built every corner.
She sat by her wall.

So strong and so bold.
Heavy as the moon.
And lighter than the rays of sun that touched her.

She built a wall.

Believing the higher the better.
Believing the stronger the better.
Believing the bolder the more beautiful.

Never thinking once that the bricks are what betrayed her.
The very foundation crumbled.
Every bit of concrete that held her beauty together.
Destroyed without hesitation or regret.  

So she built a boat and never sat at the wall again.

I think it's kind of like Athena sprouting from Zeus's head... they just were.

Baby Breath blooms in the window at Spring
I hear Robins sing to loving winds
Streams gather new Dams for life
You are the last tulip to blossom
And the most beautiful in the field

Be the center of your own Universe
Because then you shall be held with the same accountability you give the Gods

Be the center of your own Universe
Because everything you perceive is but a reflection of your own thoughts

Be the center of your own Universe
Because then for moments you will have to care for everything you've ever created

You must take responsibility.
Be the center and soon you'll see just how small the center is.

The Saints keep pressed lips when speaking words.
Gypsy lovers crawl towards the feet of his might.
Watch the shackles shake the walls for the prisoner sees his face.
Not within the petals of a flower, but within the breaths of fire.
Within the last glance of prey's eye before the predator kills.
Not a power of cruelty but of vigilance.
Embrace the sweet lotus cradled by the parting waves of serenity.
Be he, he or she or it or I.
Blessed be a soul seeking love of the highest.
How indescribable it becomes.
Fear not where the lightening strikes but where it doesn't.
For truth is no more than lies.
The mountains of knowledge sought dull in comparison to a grain of enlightenment.
Be still in all that is sound and rotation.

Black swan feathers sweep across desertscapes
Revealing an oasis among a barren wasteland
Vines reach to the Heavens as the fruit calls for a feast
Waters with rejuvenating strength run gently down stained stones
Even the Sun seems to embrace the skin instead of blister

What a beautiful mirage to have
Before an unbearable death

Forced to say words I never meant
I left all I ever wanted alone in a ditch
Pretending it could survive on its own
Using an excuses not to pick up the phone
Crippling every thought I've heard
Regret, heartbreak, blanked emotion
Completely unheard
Leaving certain parts me behind
All while trying to hide
The joy that it brings to my life
Irreplaceable love lust wrapped up in a bow
Tucked in sweet at night
Things made to let go

Sometimes I wish I was born as the man that resides within my head.

Maybe it would be easier then.

Maybe people would forgive without a second thought.

Or make excuses for my flaws.

But I wasn't.

I am to be flawless as a woman with the mind of a flawed man.

Could all be simple
Easing my way into the darkness
Letting loose my grip
No longer clinging to the last straw
Removing all the material
Replacing it with light

Or dark...
Maybe it is darkness

But how I wish it were light
That the stories reign true
So simple

Letting go of me
Letting go of the idea of me

Decaying softly thru the seasons
I'd get flowers more often
Flowers that tears help grow

my dad has cancer
i don't have any poetry about that

My heart bled crimson roses as she lay in silence.
Body still yet fluttering, floating above all else.
She covered what the world found beautiful and hid even more that which was herself.
That which I call beauty and whole.

I'm playing Gatsby
Wearing a hat made not for my head
Diving into empty pools of silver
Staring at a green light which isn't there

Or maybe it is?
I never really got that part of the book.

I never really got that part of me
Swinging on hallowed grounds
Smiling through broken teeth
Throwing parties for parting

**I should read it again.
Maybe I'll get it this time.

How incapacitated can I get
Before the thought of You
Isn't You but just you

Lungs coughing up truths
Instead of smoke
Backspacing lines
Instead of snorting them
Tears fill my glasses
While top shelf stays top shelf

More people more souls
I'll consume all that I see
Anything to keep You from Me