You were the first to teach me how to be alone
Waking up in the middle of the night
Only to discover you were not in the same spot I last saw
You weren't even home
Did you think you could hide forever?
Naïve but certainly not blind to the fact
I can see the monsters in your lungs
Pillow cases soaked with tears but still you said it'd get better
Not quite grown but surely old enough to know pain
Scars lined up neatly like pews in a church
Am I still the fresh faced child you were so proud to have known?
Are you proud to know now that you let me stumble & fall without a helping hand?
My silent screams will haunt your dreams & I hope you cry knowing my blood spills out
You were the first to let me know I'm better off on my own
& to always keep my expectations low
Or else I'd never make it through growing up alone

Its like I'm trapped underwater, desperate to surface for air.
I've got cinder blocks tied to my feet.
Frantic hands in search of your comfort but you're not there.
I want to scream for you but I know you won't be able to hear.
I'm seconds away from letting the depths swallow me, but I refuse to accept the end is near.
I know sometimes we both feel like were drowning when life gets to be too much.
Somehow we always seem to come to the surface eventually.
So don't leave please just stay the night.
Its cold underneath my sheets without you by my side.
Just stay with me please because I don't feel like drowning tonight.