as i weave through the city streets of my hometown
my mind drifts away
thankful that this city hasn't brought the anxiety i've come to expect
i wonder what's different
thankful that these people i call friends
thankful for some emotional stability
thankful for the time and for this life of mine

Live, love, laugh, learn.
Just make sure you make the right turns.
Don't look back if you turn left though,
Cause all that does is lead to concerns.

Maybe we weren't meant to be
Refusing I wanted more
Maybe I didn't choose to see
You weren't knocking at my door

Maybe the future holds
More passion than I know
Maybe I need not be so cold
Loving again like long ago

Maybe I am lost
Forever in the darkest night
Maybe I don't see the cost
In letting go and losing right

Maybe words can't come to life
When trying to explain
The feelings left unsaid 
And a girl whose love is pain.

i am the cussing man
i cuss all day and i cuss all night
and when i can't cuss no more i curse out of spite

Caution to the wind?
Mustn't be afraid of getting skinned.
Love is like that, don't you know?
The one, the only, the big Heart Show.

The knife is out, I'm ready to break.
But then I start to shift and shake.
Everyone here can see,
All I want to do is end me.
So what's holding me back?
I'm already off track.
Then thoughts of her rush to my head.
And that's what did it.
I am dead.

chirp chirp
Cried the cricket
Of my mind.

chirp chirp
Everything's alright
Be brave
Keep calm.

chirp chirp
Lose focus
Surrender together
Care.

chirp chirp
Settle down
Escape memories
Share hope.

chirp chirp
Cried the cricket
Of our love.

It shouldn't hurt
It shouldn't burn
But it does.
I shouldn't be mad
I shouldn't be depressed
But I am.
You shouldn't speak
You shouldn't influence
But you do.
Love shouldn't survive
Love shouldn't capture
But love does.
My mind shouldn't justify
My heart shouldn't hope
But they do.
So where does that leave... us?

If life is full of riches,
(And most of the time it is,)
Then what is motivation
(If riches cease to give)?
A taste of happiness,
(A call back to the edge,)
A moment of reckless emotion
(,A masterpiece with no sketch).
The mind is a funny thing
(,No puns of wordplay needed,)
Known mostly for its gain
(But often too conceited).
For it's The Other who sheds light.
(Giving back all that it takes.)
Showing progression and renewal.
(Sleeping mind now wide awake...)

The silence can be ******
Blowing nothing but wind
See you can't do anything bout it
Because they say you don't fit in
"Why not?" you ask them constantly
But no answer is due to commit
The silence can be ******

The wind is strong, it tears apart.
The rain picks up, it's getting dark.
The thunder cracks louder, makes everyone fuss.
The lightning strikes down, there can't be enough.
The clouds are black, covering all.
The hail is pounding, "danger" is its silent call.
The tornado is coming, preparing to start.
All these things I feel in my heart.

You made a choice, it ruined my life,
I almost used that shiny knife.
Then somehow, somehow, could it be?
That you could really, actually see?
You made me cry, you made me weep.
But I think it's time to make The Sweep.

i don't know what came about
i don't remember why it was ok
i didn't surrender
just to walk away
but here i am
so far from you
at least in thought
that's what must do

an inflection in your tone
some feelings overgrown
a sense of happy dismay
over the thought of you
wondering how soon
this emotion can run free
a beat with no embrace
just one quick taste
is all i need for now

i tick tock
back & forth
back & forth
back & forth
back & forth
back & forth
i beat on the drum of my own life
in perfect lockstep with the me i want to be
always wondering what to do next

There's a lot going through my mind right now.
Right now at 8 a.m.
8 a.m. the morning after.
After the pillows laid rest on their heads.
Heads full of dreamy thoughts, and actions that came to match.
Match that lit the fire, which heated only for a while.
While the two shared it's heat, and words with one another.
Another night alone together.
Together will they be, after sun first sheds its light?
Light bringing reality, discarded by the night.
Night of sudden growth.
Growth of sudden life.
Life internal once aglow, but now covered in dismay.
Dismay in what stays.
Stays alive when nothing does.
Does the heart know any limits?
Limits broken by the two, but not regretted.
Regretted past, onward to the future.
Future unknown, but hopeful.
Hopeful together.
Together.

Do you know why
When I think of you I try
To imagine how
I could ever allow
A girl like you
To break through
My heart
And restart
The love
Heard of
By only
The lonely?
More so,
How do I know
I can hide
And coincide
Alone...without you?

if i told the truth
would you be mad
think less of me
refuse to speak
blame yourself
become insecure
believe it wasn't true
or learn to forgive?

if i told the truth
would you be happy
think more of me
change your tone
pinch yourself
become comfortable
believe it was always true
or am i fantasizing?

if i told you the truth
would you be turned off
think i was needy
wonder why i messaged you
recluse yourself
become a stranger
believe we were never true
or would you agree?

if i told you the truth
would you reflect about it
think i can't be read
message me about your day
change yourself
become more mature
encourage me to visit
believe i am different
or is that even possible?

Echoed  in the night,
A message yearned to be read
Each with an addition
Invisible ink at the end.
Raw emotion.  Fresh from the heart
Shared and hopeful with simple elegance
First time lost
But with a second so sweet
Different when in contrast
Both bright in color
Though in the aspect of time,
Only one can be highlighted.
Only one developing.

Cherish what you have.
Love is not a choice.

The room is dark, but no one cares.
They just sit there, waiting, in their chairs.
No one talks or laughs at all,
Most of us just want to bawl.
Then someone tall walks in the room,
We all look up to see the doom.
It doesn't come, it's such a shock,
I guess it's time to spin the clock.

Too much anger, too much please.
How can one live on his knees?
It's hard all over, don't ever forget it.
But I know I have to try and submit.
For I will be here awhile,
Waiting... waiting... waiting in style.

God, if you're listening, you better listen good cause lately I've been thinking there's too much misunderstood. I don't mean to complain, don't mean to be a bother, but why can't I see you if you are my real Father? There's many who will say that you are myth or tale, but if I do the same would that only be betrayal? An abundance of questions is what I'm stuck in, so if you will come save me I will gladly "live" again.

Cycle, cycle, cycle and go.
Common am I to that of my foe.
Safe and ready, I always am.
Helping all, for I am a lamb.
'Thankful' is a word I seldom hear.
Because forever I will offer my sheer.
I know more than ever will be known.
For all the earth is what I'm shown.

i walk into my room
wondering if your image will be there
shutting the door in dismay
a knock will come soon i think
listening for that voice or some footsteps
passing through the halls where we met
a year's change but no one can tell
i pulled my blinds all the way up
so every time you walk in the building you'd see my light on
my window a lighthouse in those dark & windy nights
at times it feels your right outside
listening for an indication
curious to know what my life is like now
and despite all this
my outlet of weakness
i'm proud to say
i'm doing great.
i hope you are too.

Mystique and dare
A love affair
Wrapped in perfect disguise

Beauty and care
With thoughts to share
A keener point-of-view

Style and taste
Who can erase
Two who are already true

Dark and oblique
Almost out of reach
A game of shadow tag

Complex and complete
Still messy and sweet
A hidden bloom so rich

Different in design
Conclusive in compare
Matched in matchless symmetry

What can I say?
When I'm with you I want to stay.
Give a little, take a chance
Remember all the romance?
Trust in me
And you will see
The world at its best.
No doubts, all invest.
So take the clue;
I want to be with you.

i get up slowly and make some small offhand comment
maybe a joke or observation
it doesn't actually matter
every second counts
i slip on my shoes and collect my things
as i walk towards the door i think about what i want to say
i turn around and give what i can only hope is a caring embrace
when i let go i'm met with a strong gaze
that's my cue to lean in
afterwards i deliver my half-baked message
i open the door and hit the pavement with my hood up
"what now?" i think

there's a tornado outside my bathroom
and it's taking me away
to a place as white as cotton
where the angels sing and play




don't stay here too long

as the light comes in my window
i wonder what's happening inside
my head, whether it's registering
emotion like i am. the blinds get
to decide what i think about and
what i dwell on through the night
and into the next sometimes for
days on end. until it does end...
and it's as if nothing was even
wrong in the first place. was it?
i'm not even sure anymore. but
that light keeps coming through
and i shut my blinds for another
time, sinking into the candlelight

The longer I breathe
Without You
The harder I seem
To try
The more I think
About you
The higher I want
To fly

The higher I want to fly
The higher I want to go
To a place where we're together
To a place where we're alone

A place too often dreamt of
A place not think nor thin
To see your face up close
To see your shining skin

Skin perfected in its flaws
Skin abused but not forgotten
Lost to cope with her anxiety
Lost herself in great depression

Together or alone
Difference only in the name
But time and love are one
One question still remain

Will you return the love?

i got a message today
out of the blue
from you
but who is you?
and who reads this
late at night
processing these thoughts i've typed
wondering what i feel inside
but is it you?
is there a you?
changing in my head every day
a new feeling, a new desire
surrounded by things i can't have
things i think i want
until the next one comes
a fleet of fleeting emotion

i got a message today
i hope it was from you

or you
or you
or you

Wonderfully speaking, right now I am to you
I've hoped for this a long time, then suddenly, there was you
It happened oh so fast, before anyone ever really knew
The word got out, I wanted to shout, how much I'd been thinking of you
My mind is giddy with joy all the time, with thoughts of me and you
I can't believe my eyes this time; will you be the one that's true?

you are the simplistic love
sharing bytes of information
without games of deception

you are the simplistic love
a voice of honesty
when no one else speaks up

you are the simplistic love
showing care by example
not just in word

you are the simplistic love
leading with sense
instead of expectation

you are the simplistic love
living every moment
a stirring sentient amonst the unrest

you are the simplistic love
smiling back at me

You didn't have to let me down.
I shouldn't have this constant frown.
But now you say you've moved on in life,
While I just sit here holding this knife

your love is the fearless life in your eyes
your love is the feeling of your head on my shoulder
your love is the one song i get to play on my way over
your love is the christmas charm carried in your step
your love is the late night silence we often bask in
your love is the burning kiss that leaves me gasping for air
your love is the impulsive trust simply crafted in me
your love is the perpetual hug that keeps me coming back for more

Pain, pain, come to me.
The darkness, the darkness, let me see.
So much, so much, so much debris.
If you knew, you would agree...