i'm an expert
of my own mind
taking familiar faces
and carving them
with perfect personalities
that say exactly the right things
to influence & interact
better people for a better world
but only believed in by me

i'm an expert
of my own mind
spinning reality the right way
in all the wrong ways
for my own belief
filled with fiction
figments of future possibilities
probablys not prone to happen
though when they do
i know i must be
an expert of my own fate

i think it's been worse before
different girl, different time
though i couldn't say for sure

it didn't happen before
different feeling, different places
though i wouldn't say we've changed

now it's hard thinking about before
different mindsets, different worlds
what did i say that made it alright?

i still go back that moment before
we laid still
saying nothing

the difference between you and me
-at least from what i know-
is that you moved on
and i'm still there
on that couch
in that house
tv left on
storms sounding
shadows merged
eyes closed
taking everything in
enjoying your presence
and wondering
how this all happened
what might come
and who i should tell
about this embrace
and some disgrace
from our connection
not sure who could understand
what we had
in that time and place
some sort of feeling
an echo into the night
a glimpse of insight
into each others' minds
two worlds collide
into the silence
that we shared
no compare
until just now
when i realized how
i'm still there
lying there
lying every day
lying for something
i know not to be true

i want to feel something new
with you
and go back to that place
embrace
i want to run away
just stay
so we can reminisce
on this
enjoying the storm
so warm
one could never
remember

but i always will.

it's 3am, i'm eating cereal and thinking of you
circling through my thoughts
wondering how it got this way
if it's all in my head
if i've created a world where we're together
speaking through the night
until the light comes back
until reality roars back into life
making me search for some truth in it all
some substance to the chemistry
some hope to grab onto
a circle of creation
one more message
one more response
waiting for an indication

your embrace
unexpected, to say the least
had me embraced
on these cheeks
and on those lips
i couldn't stop
i lost control
control for what?
i didn't know.

i don't know what came about
i don't remember why it was ok
i didn't surrender
just to walk away
but here i am
so far from you
at least in thought
that's what must do

let me hold you again
and i'll kiss you this time
into the night
we can collide
let's be still
let's ride this high
into the night
we can collide