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108 · Mar 2017
dying at home
Barton D Smock Mar 2017
bring little, for I am a small room.

my clothes are yours and have always been lonely.

from nowhere
came beauty
to avoid
god.

bruise, ye
from nightgown
to blanket.

be kind, history

to those
in my dream.
Barton D Smock Aug 2017
outside the bathroom’s designer absence, our melancholy impressed by symbolism, we form

a line
Dear Ethel Cain

I’m in the afterhood of childlessness. No one is dancing. I say things above my dying body that sound final. A cigarette is a flashlight with a toothache. Look for whiskey’s underwater church.
107 · Aug 2017
men
Barton D Smock Aug 2017
men
choose
three
to deny
shooting
107 · Oct 2017
the incurable
Barton D Smock Oct 2017
I am framed by a quiet that exonerates silence

god is the story
is not
the teller

don’t unpack, she says
we will be
eyes

tomorrow puts it out there
it wants
kids

animals have two souls

go
like light
to undress
107 · Oct 2016
circa (xxix)
Barton D Smock Oct 2016
alien
to spoonfed
angel

three teeth
if that
into ceremony / how early

one must be
to not
exist
107 · Nov 2017
asking
Barton D Smock Nov 2017
can I miss
my body
with yours
our blood
the loneliest
bone
106 · Jul 2018
materials (i)
Barton D Smock Jul 2018
mothers
while jumping
rope
reminisce
on those
crucifixions
not postponed
by thunder
106 · Oct 2017
food (xi)
Barton D Smock Oct 2017
the evil was mine, the face wasn’t. some were delivered by one who wore a monster mask.

the smallest mouth guard. viruses

transmitted
by dream
105 · Oct 2017
domestic hypnosis
Barton D Smock Oct 2017
a birthmark
is a churchgoing
scar
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
for the gone and for the nearly, brother has the same stick.

I call belly
what he calls
eye
what answers

to limb
105 · Sep 2017
food (v)
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
I lost three days of my life. four

less
than my father.

I am sad when two people kiss.

I appear to animal
sounds
that my brother
makes. sister

tells me
with a look
that giving
birth
is the same
as naming
your source.

mom likes the way I say
hypochondriac

after every
meal.
105 · Sep 2017
civilization
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
three unicorns
in horse’s
dream
surround
a lame
deer

can dream
be stopped
105 · Oct 2024
COMMUNIONS
Barton D Smock Oct 2024
I can count on my teeth the number of your teeth gone soft in the knees of boys. There’s nothing you could’ve done to make me beautiful. The ghost of body image believes in one ghost. We’re all too young but see anyway the unfinished angel blowing on the stomach of christ. Mother from her father wants only the pea behind his eye. Distance is clickbait for god.
105 · Oct 2017
again the mothers
Barton D Smock Oct 2017
have kissed the ear
of a small
boy
they do not
love
whose voice
eats bread
through a mask…

have scored their grief
as inefficient
sadness, and accepted

bowling *****
from three-fingered
men.
105 · Jan 2015
angel
Barton D Smock Jan 2015
outside the room you believe god to be trapped in, cry

or don’t.
105 · Nov 2017
circa circa
Barton D Smock Nov 2017
dream’s oldest pig. stork’s

bucket
of footprints. god

the signal
it sent
104 · Nov 2017
dialogues for apple
Barton D Smock Nov 2017
I am the light at the end of blood

or blood is my favorite dress
104 · Sep 2017
for sleeping
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
the barber and the cyclops
in the nosebleeds
104 · Oct 2024
TRANCES FOR SCARECROW
Barton D Smock Oct 2024
I smoke a joint.
Lean
on a horse.

See
a ghost
see
my brother.

Death regrets
thinking
on death. Some

lose babies
to weather
to avoid
violence. Our baby talk

mutes

field recordings
of creatures
taming god.

In a bored
country
ambulance, a shoemaker

guesses
your OnlyFans

password.
Cracks an egg
on the knee
of an angel.
104 · Oct 2016
untitled
Barton D Smock Oct 2016
reading
in the extra
room
that which
you wrote
to stay

I could be
a scarecrow
with a pack
of condoms, a nose

breather
with a broken
jaw, a poor

even
for poverty

****

mixed-up
in a case
of correct
identity, all three

perhaps
praying
in a cave
over a can
of paint

I, you, born

inside
a baby

knowing
obsession
would starve
104 · Oct 2016
clockwork
Barton D Smock Oct 2016
mother talks him down
the shy
shepherd
whose dove
is deaf

father
remembers
food

the devoured
bury
the bored
stone

the rest
is easy

friendless, born
104 · Oct 2016
sleep
Barton D Smock Oct 2016
as proof of shyness. as death

rounded down.
House,
A light socket finds the first tooth of god.

Church, I am too old to imagine the waking hours.

Sleep,
Being in the water
when the song
is heard.
104 · Feb 2017
untitled
Barton D Smock Feb 2017
a man enters the dark to say blind is beautiful but he doesn’t die there. the sick child

a dream unable to sleep
104 · Sep 2017
paradise
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
high we are beaten for acting like the same horse. memory invades the afterlife. I talk only to the animal that takes me to my sound.
104 · Sep 2017
food (viii)
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
I can’t write and write at the same time. there are drugs in my father’s shoe and bread crumbs in my sock. sister can sing but says church gives her two left knees. mother squeezes the hand I feel sorry for. ah, sorrow- no bird walks on water and your babies

are all
neck.
104 · Aug 2017
easing
Barton D Smock Aug 2017
in no other life
am I you
in this
103 · Nov 2016
god notes
Barton D Smock Nov 2016
putting
in flashback

birth
on the map
103 · May 2018
kite
Barton D Smock May 2018
even
longing
loses
me
103 · Nov 2016
son notes
Barton D Smock Nov 2016
not at the same time will I break every bone in your body. god can brush his know-nothing tree. satan run a bath for a hole.

your mother, she’ll eat you in shifts.
103 · Oct 2024
COMMUNIONS
Barton D Smock Oct 2024
I count the same money and think of my body. I send to a stranger a TikTok of a man crushing dried insects with a red rolling pin. I don’t watch anything anymore that requires sound. The last scream I heard was god’s and I named it god. The stranger messages me twice that they recognize the man. A lonely world, but for kids.
103 · Sep 2017
food (vi)
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
a fish looking for its graveyard

I was in the dream
I was writing
down
103 · Sep 2017
untitled
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
we come for death, stay for mother.

I cut myself
might a memory
make room
for sound.

god studies his own cure.

holes
for breathing

some get
to heaven.
103 · Nov 2017
soft facts
Barton D Smock Nov 2017
upon my double
being seen
I am set
to self
destruct

I am no sadder
than twin, no sadder
than dog…

my wrist
is nothing’s
neck
102 · Aug 2018
{recent, Aug 2018}
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
/

[a gun goes off in a dream I don’t have anymore]

the root of the animal’s insomnia is not man but the fear of personification.

-

when my uncle was a baby, he tried to put something in his mouth but couldn’t do it.

-

grief is the herd my sadness trails.

-

my mother returns every year to the same spot as if it’s a microwave.  

-

before he goes back to providing the radio play-by-play for an obscure sporting event, father lifts up his shirt to show me the wire jesus wore.  

-

while smoking a cigar in the shadow of a nervous minotaur, my father wrote the book on moral isolation. in it, he predicted there would be a television show about hoarders and that it would turn god into a sign from god. my mother read the book cover to cover during her fourth and fastest delivery. if there were edits, she kept them to herself and put his name beside hers on seasonally produced slim volumes of absolute shyness.

-

death takes its place at the head of the table to tell the only story it knows to plates of untouched food.

-

trespassing, I approach two dimming flashlights set upright in cemetery mud that in your recollection are the horns of an empty beast.

-

as spotless as the dog left it, the baby’s room has come to mean today. above a different dog, people ask us what we’re having. we do our jigsaw of darkness. clone the ape that created god’s boredom.

-

I find the boy’s name on a list in another boy’s diary. a gun goes off in a dream I don’t have anymore.

/

[rabbit horns]

a plastic doll with a human right hand distracts us from the parrot’s empty cage. we have been writing in unison instead of eating. our poverty is so advanced it keeps a fake diary and a real diary but hides them in the same spot.  

-

I saw my youngest brother born.  I saw his mouth.  I thought he’d ripped.

-

the dark, the ocean. I have two reasons to believe god has not stopped creating. my anger has gone the way of the milkman.  his doomed child with her piece of chalk.

-

it is childish how much time she thinks I have to touch everything in the store.  I am slapped so hard I am sure the mirror’s memory is for show.

-

my father holds a cigarette above his head in a hotel shower. at home, my mother puts a clean shirt on the bed and jumps from her death.

-

I am secretly happy that you’ve taken an egg for each day of your life to a doll so doll can sleep.  as your mother, I often follow a black ball of yarn into the lake of how you remember.

-

a male mime bites into a bar of soap…

-

her father is just as she imagines-

a man not making siren sounds pulled over by the man who is.

-

you will know the hoof of satan’s chosen deer by the way it glows when any female announces from the seat of a stilled tractor that she is pregnant.  you will be the age of your mother’s baby bump, older than your father’s knife, and lit by the grape in god’s mouth.

-

I am in the saddest grocery waiting with my mother for the happiest bike repair to open.

-

dodgeball, no one sad.

/

[gestural transportation]

in the idea, god creates only those creatures already identified by the man he can’t shake.  

-

I am quiet but nobody listens.

I am loneliest when it’s not allowed.

-

after a child drowns in a child, the church bathroom is scrubbed in full view of the elderly.

-

while thunder remains god’s most solemn prank, the moon is the bottom of a prop tree.  there are egg shells on the floor of heaven.

-

the bread crumbs were eaten not by birds but by a starving boy with a lost voice who’d wandered from his home in a delirium brought on by a toothache.  also, Hansel & Gretel were two rich kids who killed someone’s mother.

-

god goes from wall to wall unaware he is god disguised as a graffiti artist.  

renderings of my son on a ventilator adorn the moving city.  

-

in flight, a wasp carries something it’s not.  forgiveness works alone.

-

I have never seen an attractive god.

/

[the upper body of the minotaur lost everything]

mother prays for odd things.  like passwords.  and that there be one day a mirror she can warn.  

-

my father was born with six fingers on his right hand and seven on his left. he was not fond of either hand until later in life when the grandchildren asked him at different times during their visits if he had been tortured.

-

my brother says it’s part of his condition that he can only explain himself from the waist down.  before I can play doctor, he remembers he has a story he wants me to write.  in the opening scene a young man is blowing dust from a human skull made of plastic because it’s all the narrator can afford.

-

your sister is the only person on record to have been born without a gift. I was told this in confidence by an angel masquerading as a small animal the size of which escapes me.

-

excuse my friend his earlier joy in saying who do I have to **** to get ****** around here. at age 19 a man exploded beside my friend and my friend went quiet and later to his grave thinking his own bomb malfunctioned.

-

I know it’s early but I need you to make sure there are no bugs on your father before he goes to work.    

/

[materials (ii)]

nostalgia no longer has a church

if these are your children, I’ve lost years keeping them away from bugs

like her, I’ve never seen her starvations touch

it’s like waiting for god to donate hair

/

[materials (iii)]

I hate baseball but enjoy covering my left hand.

headache
oh pearl
of birth

/

[materials (iv)]

a painting of your whereabouts. the popcorn stoning of your first wheelchair. soft edits. pentagram. spider.

the look of a thing that wants no hands.

/

[materials (v)]

eating for the child lost by ghost, you are the second of three people who know god’s middle name. oh how I’ve written to avoid reading. to impress death.

a babysitter’s tattoo. the bird-sleep of ache.

/

[materials (vi)]

she is cooking with the father of an ex-lover a meal for someone who’s just had surgery. god is there but might as well be listening for thunder. she hopes the dream is not a big deal.

/

[materials (vii)]

god twisted her ankle on a toy phone while thinking of the child you love least. mother was passing for an underwater attraction based on the inherited imagery of oblivious angels. photo credit had been done to death.

/

[materials (viii)]

an aversion to sleeping on my stomach.  needing to be alone after eating in front of people.  my father asking in the library for books on Nagasaki.  field trips to indian mounds where bullies would worship my retainer and put mud in my mouth.  my permissive mother and her essays on the grief of a social god.  not understanding how in some films there were women speaking on what was heard in the distance and how in others just men sitting around to surprise satan.  my brother threatening to run away and me showing him how my ghost would look breaking his toys.  sticks from a dogless future.    

/

[childlike boredom]

never be more creative than your abuser.

I’ll bring christ, you

canary

/

[brevities]

the voice of god is the light by which a cricket kills its ghost. grief the chosen dress of our no-show photographer.

/
102 · Nov 2017
soft facts
Barton D Smock Nov 2017
a year older than his violence

the over-feeder
of goldfish, the quietest lover
of his voice

would bruise
when his ghost
would blush
102 · Apr 2017
tin
Barton D Smock Apr 2017
tin
give childhood
some time

let vengeance

travel

/ say it wrong

my name

while whale

watching
102 · Aug 2018
brevities
Barton D Smock Aug 2018
if told by your hands to set myself on fire, I would pray my father into a snake and death would cry in a whale for every bee that lost its voice.
102 · Nov 2017
soft facts
Barton D Smock Nov 2017
night is the sound of my father’s adding machine. of mother narrating the life of a stone. lake is my brother’s action figure learning to swim on a full stomach. lake is a bird going from dream to dream as a mouse. hole is anything I bring home that isn’t my body. home from the city where sisters drink in silence to footnotes of future fictions.
102 · Sep 2017
food (vii)
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
the audition calls for a woman to pretend she’s missing her right ear.  a day before I’m scheduled, I wear heels and have my boyfriend mangle my left.  a day after, I’m holding the baby of those who’ve never underestimated their power to look away.  I don’t get the part.  and mom turns it down.
102 · Nov 2017
first day
Barton D Smock Nov 2017
I pine more for the being god was thinking about when he made you. visually, the moons of pain. where circled by what. the one-eyed lambs.
102 · Oct 2017
tableau
Barton D Smock Oct 2017
I would look in the mirror to see if people knew I was ugly and maybe now my son does the same. in mine, god had no soul. in his, god’s soul has nowhere to go. I love you. I don’t matter. I love you and I don’t matter.



if I could go back in time, I’d help her take care of me
Barton D Smock Sep 2017
god remembers

a giant

that to us
was plain
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