this morning now-
          only a few hours past
since i lay gutless
across my bed

My stomach mangled
          -spewed next to me
on the floor for the world to see
          
          -[or at least for my dog to chew
          and eat]

still, in my [-e]motions
my mind did all the work

PUZZLING over each and every
tiny *******
word

here i am
          again
grey-haired and numb
pinned up on a clothesline
          wet & rung

playing with myself again

          [pretending there's no such thing
          as you]

resting in the morning heat
drowning in the mourning
          dew.//

This warm embrace
This growing romance
For something that should not be
Blind& subdued by the lust that sets me free

This warm embrace
swallows my faith
and burdens my sprint
I hate what we do
I hate what I do to you
But all is forgotten all is buried
Here in your warm embrace

Closed doors
surround me, help me
i'm stuck
at the midnight time, help me
i'm searching for
a word of my own, help me
parallel deaths  
become my one-way highway, help me...
...they stop,
they look,
they laugh,
they speak,
they hear,
they leave,
while, i'm asking for  help....help me.

Its horrible is'nt it?
when you wake up to a bed
a stable paid roof, upon your sweet head
bundles of clothes, its really the worst
when one of your shirts is'nt matching the first
you cry of your life
you'll never win
but you do not think
of what could've been
i am so weird
you might assume
cause' i live in a house
with only one room
dont wanna go on
cant tell the whole world
it will be in time
unraveled, unfurled
so awake  your tired eye
make a grand cup o' tea
cause the room that i speak of
is a thing called adversity

Young love, young love,
Pure and true;
Through the fights and the tears.
What happened to you?
Us against the world
Without a care;
Simple thoughts, little money,
But everything we shared.
You held me so tightly when I felt alone,
Stayed up all night as we whispered on the phone.
Fingers intertwined as we walked through the park,
Smile on my face and you were the spark.
Then Thursday came and my smile ran away,
Eyes filled with tears but nothing to say.
Broken heart, broken in two,
Shattered, but where is the glue?
My knight turned to a dragon in the blink of an eye,
I want to yell and scream but all I can do is cry.
I need to be held tightly with fingers intertwined,
Hate him with all my being, but why is he on my mind?

Enticing poppy,
an unwitting aid,
one vial of your blood
they **** to accrue.

I’ve never felt you
course deep through my veins
yet, my soul's tarnished,
family destroyed.

**** you, sweet flower,
repossess your gift
that eats from within.

We’ve no want for the
paltry donation
encased in syringe.

I want to taste something
Sweeter than the sugar cane
For that I would have to kiss
Your lips, your succulent lips

I want to feel something
Smoother than silk
For that I would have to touch
Your skin, your stunning skin

I want to see something
More beautiful than the starry night
All I have to do is look into
Your eyes, your captivating eyes

I want to know something
More breathtaking than all the beauty in life
All I have to do is look into
Your heart, your heart and your mind