The storm is brewing and it's peaceful in here
There are laughs to be heard, somewhere
and it's peaceful in here
When the wind hits, it's contained
shelved books turn to tatters in my brain

musicals lyricals questioned insane
was the girl who slid down the mountain and landed in shame
at the foot of the grave of the days that made gains
at the back of her head, memories plated in fox fires and red
cheeks
creeps
cheap - you gotta be to survive, sometimes,
right? Freak?

Strum, I'll strum my fingers numb
or teach myself how
Now
The window is breaking under the pressure
A million pieces of my heart are plastered on the walls,
on the floor, in my calls
lost to the no ones I shouted to

Pillows
Things to grasp onto
Holes to tip-toe-topple into
What have you got to lose?
said the girl in the straightjacket whose
shards of hair flew past your periphery
like diamonds shattering in the moonlight

out of sight
out of sight
what is sight?
I heard a shriek-

stricken sighs
eyes
eyes
i's

Stop predicting bad things.
Blink.
Step forward or you'll sink.

The air is around us
The air is surrounding you, you're alone
The world is around me, am I home?
openness - vast, deep, incomprehensible
swallowed my stencils and connected
my pencils to paper and then

opening my mind to the stars
'thank you' spoken softly
unguided but for the shadows cast
on the ground by the clouds

ghouls glittered in the moonlight and
drifted into the cedars

Security.
Confidence, competence, common sense,
purity.

I'm caught in my own obscurity.
I'm terrified of finding the truth-
Running distraught through the
questions I've sought after,
tired of playing the sleuth

to find facts that I don't want to know.

The stage is set for the show
and I don't want to go.

The sheen, shining silver of metal
warped reflections

The unseen spider creeps
from
        corners
                     unquestioned

                 infecting
            
        thoughts


A foreign liquid fills the test tube, let's drain it
take it in shots to change the world
take in in red eyes and wrinkles and teeth


Nicotine


Smoke down the drain, emotions in the air,
creeping fears with spindly legs
down my neck
swallow the mucus
Entwine into a cobweb
Die internally several times

This is the roundabout way of discovering life
This is my roundabout way of saying I'm stubborn
and hurt, and confused
and completely fine.

Come
Let your contents drip out and mix with the paint-water
and clogged gutters and spit
come put your feet up before the flood

of times when the wind blew through
the curtains of your heavens
and song-sounded rain-washed
hard hats rusting like ravens' calls

rushed the rivers through your rocks
of granite and quartz and obsidian
and gold, under your fingernails
flaked and speckled the clouds

for shocks, the lightning stole your thoughts
the wind battered your brains
and tore your notes into colors
your keyboards and tablets and text-
message-rants with a time delay

flew off into the hurricane

The surface of the raindrop in the fading light told me,
as it fell and seeped into the soil,
that perfection is attainable,
but not physical

Through bubbles expanding,
refracting rainbows -

I see how I've glowed in perfect ways

in now, this one sphere's landing
and disappearing
pop
death is beauty beyond sight

as a child I learned to hold onto those things
(wouldn't you like to swing on a star?)
but if you touch a soap bubble you lose it
like the sight of the sunset the first time you're content with the silence

I do
feel the break of your
most true, shining, unreserved smile
coming over the horizon


No one can hold bitterness inside the
lines of their face forever
lined with memories and broken memories
and truth-be-held-for-fear-to-see
and broken backs for fear to be
and the haunting of eternity
and waking up, refuse to be
standing up, your tears are free
your soul is free

your determination
sparked at dawn revealed
to run from this damnation
hard
fast
harder
waking up your eyes without a stretch
seeing for the first time the ones that knew you best
all along inside your beaten heart repressed
now walk inside the lines of appreciation
and outside the lines of classic creation

were those moments that you spoke of once
a child
a voice
a call
here suddenly aside the spot you left behind
with nowhere to hide
nowhere to hide
you don't want to
hide

you're here for the ride.
Your face shines of joy.
The wall was inside but before
you died behind it
you said "Yes" for the first time in years

You don't need to hide, there's still brightness
inside where you left it, still held
for release with your tears


And I feel the break of contagious happiness
and my most true, shining, unreserved smile
coming over the horizon.

I pay attention
Words are in my head
Like roses
Like thorns, from roses

We notice, as humans, without acknowledging
Secret moments
I noticed
You noticed
The silence of
you didn’t sign my card and I noticed
you missing at the congratulations party
and I, moving away
from you
and I, making connections that needn’t be

mentioned - forgotten?
Or stored, perhaps, away with other reasons to feel lonely
Or swallow away loneliness
On a Saturday night in January.

Search terms “shallow”
Shallows shadow sorrows
Foregone by furrowed brows and questioned messages
Shallows bury questions
I tried to bury shallowness with fury

I'm trying to listen

Copy and paste, print, sign, scan, send, print, sign, fax
I suppose your strange routes of communication are only as complex as my ways of receiving them