While we are little we are told we can grow up to be whatever we want.
As we grow older we start to discover new things.
Plants, powder & rocks.
Some fall into depression while others follow their dreams.
We start to realize this isn't what it seems.
Rushing to be a grown up thinking it is all fun & games
Only to realize it is really ******* lame.

When I think of you, I think of a beautiful girl that doesn't know her abilities.
When I talk to you I can't help but to keep a smile on my face.
Even though you are away, away from me
I feel like you are as close as can be.
This thing between us will truly never end
Even though we know we can only remain friends.
I love you with all my heart I never want to loose you,
If I could be with anyone in the world I would choose you.

It can be the best of times and the worst of times.
You have thirteen years to prove to everyone that you can do it.
You try and try your hardest to make sure you don't quit.
When you think back to the beginning you can't help but to tear up,
Thinking about how much you have grown up.
You meet a lot of new people along the way, it's like a water fall.
So beautiful and so peaceful.
Yet so ugly and horrifying.
Scared out of your mind, you feel like you are blind.
Afraid to be on your own.
Afraid to be out in the grown up world alone.
Happy you made it all this way by yourself.
A beautiful soul becoming a flower.

Butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.
I try my hardest to get you out of my thoughts,
But you're the only thing that my heart truly wants.
I just wanna hold you
Look deep into your eyes,
And try to figure out why you are the only thing that is on my mind.
Baby you are so perfect, perfect for me.
Even though you are away, away from me
I still want you, want us, you see.
I just want us to be that couple everyone  is jealous to see.

In my head all I can think about is you and how you have made all my emotions blue
I would have never thought this is how it would end but maybe this is better that you and I aren't even friends
My heart keeps telling me to keep trying with you but I can't be with someone that makes all my emotions blue
I thought you were going to be the one until the end but it turns out we can't even be friends
They all say your first love is your worst but maybe it was just lust
All my memories for you is now in the dust
Blowing away with the wind mixed up with the dirt you can't even imagine how much I hurt

When I think of you I think of pretty things.
The way our hands fit together oh so perfectly.
The way my heart skips a beat every time you touch me oh so gently.
The way you look in to my eyes oh so deeply.
I hate myself everyday for not leaning over to kiss you.
But I know if I did so I would have been a fool.
I wish you didn't play me..
I really started to like you.

You wake up in the morning ready to take on the world.
(You wake up in the morning wishing you didn't have to leave.)
You put your best outfit on that'll impress your girl.
(You take one look in the mirror and try not to heave)
Smiling and giggling at how excited you are to see her.
(Horrid and timid at the thought of even leaving.)
Grabbing your purse and rushing out the door it must have been a blur.
(Starting to feel pathetic you fall to the floor and can't help to start weeping.)
Standing in front of this girl you haven't seen in weeks
(Knowing you haven't seen her in almost two years)
Beautiful, engaging, and teasing.
(Aching, bruised, & distressed.)
You can not imagine your life with out her
(You know reality finally hits you when you're by yourself)
Us against the world
(Me all by myself)
I love you
**(I want to forget you)

It's the darkness that really gets to me.
The feeling of loneliness that creeps up on my soul.
The monsters that are in my head, screaming out "I wish you were dead"
I sometimes can't figure out what's real and what's not.
I'm scared to tell people what's really going on in my thoughts.
So instead of telling them how I feel,
I keep it all bottled up as if it wasn't real.

I knew a girl that loved herself
Loved the person she was
Didn't care what people thought
Didn't care how she looked
She had her life planned out
Knew in her mind that she was going to be something one day
I wish her thoughts didn't destroy her
She started to change
Slowly
Stopped going out
Didn't want to go to school
Insecurities ruled her body
She had everyone by her side
But yet felt so alone
She wanted to end it
As she thought of ways to leave
She couldn't bring herself to do so
Family is what stopped her
The thought of her sister walking in  the house & finding her body helpless
Scared her
She ended a relationship that was dear to her heart
Now she just feels trapped
Wishing for a way to get out
Screaming for help
No one can hear her
She looks around for a hand to grab
An ear that'll listen
Someone
Anyone
She just wants to get back to normal
She just doesn't want the darkness to win
She wants the old her back
She wants to be able to look in the mirror and loves what she sees
I want to be me

You lay down in your bed
Trying to get all the bad thoughts out your head.
You toss and turn all night
Knowing deep down in your heart that your mind is about to take you on a terrible flight.
You grab your phone looking for someone to call
But in reality you know no one is going to answer at all.
You turn to the right and see something that'll make you feel better
First you get your pen and paper out to write a letter.
You write down all the things that are causing you this pain
But you finally realize it is only making you more insane.
You grab the yellow pill bottle that's hiding under your bed
Crush up all the pills because you feel like you are dead.
You snort up all your troubles
Wipe away your tears.
You take one last look in the mirror
And think to yourself "all I wanted to do is sleep"