hey Dad

there really were some good times way back in the beginning ........
weren't there ?
before things got so ******* up
yeah
I know you really meant well
didn't you
but you just couldn't
stay outta trouble
could you
you did a whole lotta
bad things Dad
it really made us all so
sad

still I remember you
taking us to the lake
to feed the ducks
and those trippy old musty
antique shops in downtown
San Francisco ......

you taught me many things
Dad ........ even though you
turned out to be so bad

I think I must have been
the only 9 year old girl
who knew how to load bullets
and was a regular
at the rifle range
discern the grain  of walnut
from that of cherrywood
or birch
the only 9 year old who new
how to drive an old army jeep
you taught me to appreciate
music and made me laugh when
you played your trumpet
to your big band era 78's
and had us dance along ........

so today Dad
I remember you
for the first time
in a very long time
and I stop
to give you credit
for trying ........

there was a time
I thought you were
the smartest most lovable
and down to earth man
in the world Dad
all those years ago .........
Happy Father's Day

BCA
06/15/14
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