Criss cross
Applesauce
Spiders running down your back
I climbed out my window
and jumped
I acquired a few bruises
but not from the fall
His breath reeked of stale beer
The first time I had no where to turn
The outcome of abuse and soft kisses
a mean look in your eyes
pumpkin pie
I hope you survive
quite whispers of melodies
your mother used to sing
salt water tastes like childhood
Cool breeze
Tight squeeze
Now I've got the shiveries

I peeled back the mask and gazed into
the endless portals that made up my eyes
Dipping fingers into the pools of water
cheek bones
piano keys
teeth
self-discovery
The water rolls down my fingers
but I can’t seem to get it off my skin
It clings to me and stings
This water is holy and I am paper thin
A demon lies within
I whisper to myself
A reminder to hold myself at night
but not too tight
do not wake my sin
Crack me open
But gently
I will spill
A pool of galaxies
Infinity
And everything that makes up each and every one of you
Something deeper
Something beautiful

Double shot of expresso
and I'm screaming inside
You're tearing yourself open right before my eyes
and I am nodding my head
as if to say it is all alright
And I know that you love her
and that I am the
confidant
you spill secrets to me in dimly lit rooms
and with the children screaming
we run away
with the one I should keep you from
and he flirts from the front seat
Batting eyelashes like the pretty girls do
We are catastrophes
but we just can't let go
and maybe that's the reason
my heart is so ******* full

We watch them sing from stages
laughing behind cupped hands
and they give us what we've always wanted
a single connection
We're driving fast
trying to stretch the moments
and save the tears
for later dates when we're all alone
to sink like weights in water
For now we'll sing songs we don't know the words of
and look at each other like we've been blind from the start
What is it with these shaking hands
every time I refuse to look back

I've lost myself
rhyming with reason
and listening to the abivilant symphony
of what it feels like to be
They are calling me back
while I argue with the past
and tell them no
I have moved on
They will not take no for an answer
I try to find rest with in this
but  always seem to wake up screaming
I am finding my own way
to make do
with the cards I've been handed
and the time I've been given
to make things right
one foot forwad
but I'm taking twelve steps back

Do you feel yourself giving in
or does it happen so gradualy
that you wake up one day
and you find yourself in too deep
Our arms are swinging back and forth
Screaming for fun like children
and spining in circles until
our legs give
I am writing the past down on napkins
in restaurants
with old coffee
and I am at the point of realization
that everything means nothing to me
with the stale smell of smoke
I fall backwards
and hope someone will catch me
for once this seems to be the right thing
it never is