one day i would pack up my things,
and leave u a note by the door.
and everything u thought i’d stay for,
will be gone in a couple of words.

i always feared this would happen,
still, for u, i tried anyway,
to ignore the calls of wandering,
but a leaver never stays.

in sleepless nights
i dream of u
wide awake.

and when my lips meet urs,
will they know they’re home?

i’ve been called
every word
but never
lovely

today i was granted
this sense of solace
that maybe
in some other world
fate wasn't as cruel
to the both of us

that maybe
somewhere out there
existing freely
in the unknown
is a version of you and i
who ended up making it.

and if he’s
finally happy
please,
nobody tell me

let me wonder
in secret
what he’s become
and how
it came to be

don't flood me
with memories
or burden me
with regret

on how he’s got
everything
he’s ever wanted
and i wasn't there
to see it.

as i writhe
in the devil’s grasp
and the eternal
flames of tarnation

from the depths
of my obsidian heart
lord, grant this sinner
her salvation

should i be tried
in the court of god
my only crime
was to live this life

and shall at last
the verdict comes
i’ll embrace the abyss
with open arms.