Frozen

Solid ice

That's what I wish to become

Not feeling emotions

Not needing them

Everything is so much easier

Without sadness

Or anger

Disappointment

But still I end up feeling

Stinging through the numbness

Like pins and needles

Constantly there

A feeling of needing

Missing

Weakness

Need to cool it off

Numb it down

Snow the cold onto my soul

Make it go away

Too bad things don't work out

Too bad I'm completely alone

Too bad that numbness won't come around again

Great...

Ironic
The ones you let in the most
And tell everything to
They take the time
To understand


Understand your troubles
Happiness
Despair
Humor
Needs
Grief
Life

Those are the people and friends
That seem to take time
They seem to care
Pretend to care
I wish they would care
But these seem to be the ones
That end up letting you down the most

Letting you crash all the way down
I wish you were here again
What I have inside
I can't do it alone
You let me down
Disappointed

Such an illogical word
Full of questions
But never simple answers

Always present when times get hard
Keeping minds running
And emotions stirring

You're a word that follows grief
Perhaps anger
But always death

Hardly ever lighthearted
Always questioning
Seems to gnaw at your insides

Emotions never stifle the pain
That you seem to bring about
You're just three tiny letters

Learned to pronounce
At such a young age
But never fully learned to answer

Such a short word
That I can't find an answer for
Why?

Why am I constantly
Forgiving
Missing
Moving on

Not accepting
Blocking
Moving on

Shutting down
Sheltering
Moving on

Crying
Needing
Moving on

Protecting
Forgetting
Moving on

Such a routine cycle
Day by day
I move on

But as my life moves on
My emotions stay the same
but still I move on.

I call it stupid
You drank before you drove
You didn't know your consequences
Could have such a great toll

I call it reckless
You swerved across the road
His Honda stood no chance against you
How could you do this

I call it selfless
You never considered the others
The fun you wanted
Caused the death of another

I call it ******
Even though you didn't plan to take his life
He's gone now and with him
You murdered a piece of me

I call it unforgivable
The 24th of any month will never be the same to me
That was the day you took that wild ride
And took Ben with you