If you don't want to be friends

anymore, just leave

Hopefully I'll stop

noticing you in the halls

Yes tell me when

you begin to want

to push me away

'cause it's completely okay, I know,

my laugh is annoying, (tell me when

you've began to find

i have bigger flaws than that), and
                                                                                        

Pretty boy, if you don't like me

(anymore)

it's alright

We should be getting on with our lives

I pull the pink flowers

From the mass of black hair

And they fall to my hands

As I release a breath



                                                                              

I shrug off your shining words

And the glow of your eyes

As I shut myself away

Again, the world

In the deadness of mine



                                                                                            

It's hard to believe in

Anything

When nothing and

No one ever stays

I am always left dark and gray

Or brown at the edges and

Fading, crushed



                                                                  

Like the flowers in the palm of my hands

a person is
his silhouette
crooked teeth
or not-
beautiful is beautiful

a man is the outer
edges of his soul
the crinkles around his
eyes
the corner of his
smile

a man is what lies
at the tips of his
fingers
what’s falling out
of his pockets
what extends into
where the eye cannot see-

the heart,
          is the man

the man,
          is the heart

it is what it is
        what we are

beautiful is beautiful

i want to quickly fade away like

the flowers or the butterfly,

something inside

me is too beautiful to remain

in the world for long

yearns it to be free and



                                                                                          

something inside me

is ugly

ugly ugly ugly

and I don’t want the cotton on my skin

your eyes on me

your fingers inches away--

keep away!

              

                                            

i want to fade

i'm trying to be my own hero

whispering "it's okay"

out to the cold night and in

to the chill

that seems to line my veins nowadays
                                                                          

"it's alright"                                                
                                                    

holding in the sighs

shying away from eyes

how many times have i

told myself "you'll be fine"
                                                                          

"it's okay to cry"                                                


but i drench my pillow every

night, and beyond the eighth-

floor window is a world

separate from

here (consider the fall)


"smile"

i do smile,

my own hero,

remember?


(well, only fairytales have

happy endings;

and twisted storylines

are beyond saving)

you gave yourself up to the video games

and nothing i do can draw you out now

and maybe you flaunt indifference
to mask the loneliness
maybe it’s eating you up-
but you refuse to be within reach

maybe when you’re over it all
you could find the time to smile at me
say hi when you pass by

maybe when i’m beautiful
you’d go and seek me out
and i would find the time to smile at you
and i could introduce you to
some boy, who wrote me a song
some boy you could never draw me away from

but in the scheme of things, i suppose i'll be fine

you don't have to be happy, you just have to survive.