I’ll tell of a dream wherein I saw
A mermaid on a rocky shore,
who sang to me with words so sweet,
she swept me from my faltering feet
and beckoned me with glistening arm
to join her in the sea so warm,
to frolic in the tumbling surf
in wholesome and good natured mirth,
until at last she led me deep
unto the land where fishes sleep,
where Neptune on a throne of power
adorned withal in green sea flowers
and hung about with pearls and gold,
(of such are countless stories told),
he bade me sit, and served me Mullet,
which flapped and wriggled in my gullet
and made me feel a little queasy,
for eating live fish isn’t easy,
then Neptune, mermaid, fish and all
departed me amidst a squall,
and I awoke midst ocean billows
to find myself overwhelmed by pillows.

I wrote a little poem,
it wasn't very long,
and then I was distracted
by a glorious bird song,
A goose ate my poem,
I hope she can digest it
and it does her some good,
she's a cheeky little thing
and it's not her normal food.

The Lunatic the Poet and the Lover are of imagination all compact.
So saith the bard. (midsummer night's dream) act 1V  Sc 1. by William Waggledagger.  Apologies   are due to those kind souls who read my  puny efforts at poetry and respond with kind comments.
My  response is--- (wait for it) your kindness is amazing, however, my laptop is no more amazing than I am and has had a panic attack-as I have, when confronted with all of the replies and comments , I may never catch up, even when I sit at my musing at 3-20 am., with cramped legs and aching back.  So there it is folks,  I am getting older. (I am already old), and I am not computer literate- someone near and dear to me has just commented that I am not the least bit literate, never the less, I will continue in my own muddled way and  try to shake off the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and persevere, thank you and goodnight (bows to audience) and waves to shouts of geroff ya fool while avoiding missiles.

Summer days are past and gone,
And colder days now hurry on.
The lily draws her  tender bloom
deep into the cloudy gloom, and
soft mists risen in the night,
turn to frost at dawns first light.
In the margins of the pond
The ice holds fast the frozen frond,
and under hill the mole curls tight,
safe and warm throughout the night,
pink paws, pink nose, a velvet coat,
all safely hidden from the stoat!
The swans, clothed in their purest white
glide, like ghosts in black of night
as safely on the lake they sleep,
while the coot and moorhen peep
in their dark and sombre suits,
from the tangled willow roots.
The fox that cunning red marauder
creeps stealthily along the border,
as the weakling winter sun
Announces a new day begun.

I blame the Tarzan films I watched as a kid. Tree houses. If they were good enough for tarzan...!  I chose the tallest tree in the wood, a birch with massive branches and plenty of them. Iwill build my tree house right at the top, no one will notice it unless they look up, I started work, gathering planks of wood where ever I could. I needed help, Barry and Peter were strong, their granddad had a shed he didn't use, it was dismantled and hauled piece by piece up into the crown of the tree. things were beginning to take shape in the dizzy heights above.
It was great, from our lookout we could see all of the wood, and even the turnip field and distant farmer ploughing with the blue tractor. of course we couldn't remain quiet and build our tree house, there had to be a certain amount of sawing and hammering which attracted some suspicious locals, but when anyone approached we stopped the noise and remained undetected. The tree house was twelve feet by six, and we painted the outside green before we hauled it up. Of course it didn't all go according to plan, there was the time that my helpers thought it would be funny to let go of the rope that they were hauling on to hoist one of the panels up, we got it two thirds of the way up when they let go, (they said they were atacked by wasps, a likely tale.)
The result was that I was catapulted up into the tree in spectacular fashion, and left hanging about forty feet above the ground. I managed to swing to a nearby branch, but when I let go of the rope, the wooden panel shot past me, almost knocking me off the branch!  In spite of many setbacks, we finished it in November,  It was very draughty due to the multitude of gaps in the wood panels, "We need an old carpet for the floor, and some dry grass to shove in the gaps, then we should be allright. Slowly the tree house filled with furniture. We had a table, (three legged,)  some chairs, from who knows where, and a bench seat which had a habit of tipping up suddenly when only one person was left  sitting on it. had we known it at the time, this bench seat was a disaster waiting to happen"  The tree house was still draughty, no matter how many holes we plugged with dry grass the wind still got in. Clearly we needed more grass!  Dry grass was beginning to be hard to find. "We can use dry leaves instead." Sack upon sack was gathered, (we had a bunch of willing helpers now, all eager to join us .)
The floor of the treehouse was now about two feet deep in grass and leaves, but it remained cold! On November the fifth, we climbed into our treehouse, fortified with ginger cake, bread and jam, some turnips from the nearby field, (always a favourite) some brought bottles of pop too. We settled down to watch the bonfires, We could see at least three, and some had fireworks!  As it got darker we lit our lanterns. "Candles stuck to the inside of jam jars.)  all went well, to start with, and the party became more boisterous. Then it happened, someone upset the bench seat, and in the confusion jamjars were knocked over and lighted candles fell among the grass and leaves. The speed with which the fire took hold was incredible, I suppose the strong wind helped to fan the flames. The scramble down the tree was frantic, we were showered with burning pitch. (from the roofing felt I suppose) and clumps of burning grass and leaves.  it was all very sad, and very spectacular. Friends still talk about it I believe. We moved from the North East after that, and went to Sunbury on thames, "The Thames! Boats, fishing! now that was more like it!  
                     More anon.

Our shop at Parrot's Corner was quite large and had living space  behind and above the shop. I was nine years old, and I found it all very exciting. From the bedroom window above the shop I could look out and see a huge lake which had formed as a crane with a huge bucket scooped the sand and gravel out. It was loaded onto a conveyor belt, which carried it away to a yard full of huge hoppers for processing.  I used to go wandering around it at weekends when there was no one there, I soon found out that the lake- or gravel pit was full of Perch, and on a moonlit night I could see the shoals swimming by, with the moonlight being reflected from their silvery scales. As our business began to flourish I spent more and more time working in the shop, at evenings and weekends, and by the age of eleven I was making shoes myself. Most of our trade was repair work, and I learned to work quickly My Dad was only five feet two, but he could do the work of three men and had very high standards- so I had a good example to follow! The most challenging part of the day for me was the evening, when we worked on the heavy sewing machine, sewing the stout leather soles on.
I remember well that it took two turns of the handle to make one stitch, and there were two hundred stitches in a sole, four hundred in a pair of shoes and we used to sew about twenty four pairs of shoes every evening except Saturday and Sunday! The machine had an electric motor, but no one could make it work. It was heavy and stiff to turn, it needed a certain rhythm to make it work and I was the only one who could do it!  
I used to go to school tired, (I can't think why) When I left school I was bottom of the class! But it wasn't all work. One of our customers introduced me to the art of fishing and acted as my sponsor, allowing me to join The Feltham Piscatorial Society. I won the first match I ever fished in.
Now that I was able to go fishing by myself I liked to go to various places and my favorite place was the river Thames, where there were lot's of boats to watch. That was when I decided, it was time to learn new skills! I needed a boat, desperately!

I was still a child when the urge to build settled in my little brain.
"A project, what's that?"  I would have asked, wearing my customary frown. "Does it bite?" My first "thing" is to build a secret camp! that took a lot of digging! I toiled all summer. When winter winds blew from The North my secret camp was complete, roofed  with, branches, bracken covered, it was truly snug, deep enough so I could stand, wide enough to seat all my friends, I was popular all winter and warm in my snug. Disaster came out of the blue, in the form of the farmers tractor, it was blue! I came home from school to find it in my snug, where it stayed for two weeks, before it could be got out with a crane!  My lovely snug was filled in and the ground ploughed and put to growing corn!   Then I discovered fishing! Izac Walton was to blame. I discovered his book The Compleat Angler in the school library, it was dog eared and had no cover,
Seeing my interest, teacher gave it to me, not realizing that it would have a profound effect upon my life and family! More anon.

Where was I now, oh I remember, I had outstayed my welcome at Shotton,
"There have been too many complaints, the local farmer had had enough."
"Enough of what" I frowned, surely he couldn't mean me! "Anyway, I have had enough of this place, we are moving South, to a place called Sunbury on Thames, he smiled. "Your mum has your Christmas present, be extra good or you won't get any present at all." The weeks seemed to drag by, Dad had been ill and things had been delayed. Things were moving at last. Dad had bought a double fronted shop, It had been a ladies hairdressers., called Georgina's, it was done out in attractive pink tiles. My brother Jim grinned. "We'r in the pink, at last."  My dad's machines took up a lot of room, we had a sewing machine, a stitching machine , a blake stitching machine , a finishing machine, a cutter ,a skiver, a stretcher, a work bench with two pivot's, and a shelf below with a complete set of iron lasts, from tiny toddlers size up to the largest Policeman's boot. That's a little joke, nearly.  "When we get busy you will have to help, I'll show you how to make shoes, you can start by doing repairs, there is a lot to learn, I expect you to dig in." He frowned. "I can't believe I said that."

Izak Walton, it was his fault!  I was hooked. I read and re read The Compleat Angler. I could have quoted chapter and verse. Something had to be done! there was a brook nearby, at the edge of the wood it's crystal waters contained Red Throated Sticklebacks, I was thinking of something bigger, my mind was full of fifty pound Pike and Carp as fat as pigs, goodness knows where they were to come from, at that age my mind only took one step at a time.  I needed to dam the brook, that was certain, I borrowed Dad's new *****, building a dam couldn't be that difficult, I found a good place to start, where there had once been a silted up pool, If I built a good dam where the brook ran between high banks, it would soon start to form a wide pool.  I started digging on Saturday morning and dug all day. Dad used to call me his "little digger" but he spelled it differently!  After digging all day, I stuck Dad's new ***** into the turf by the dam and climbed an Ash tree so that I could get a good view as the dam filled up, which it did, quite quickly. No one had seen me at work, apart from the mad horse, which used to come charging up from time to time, It had broken the legs of the farmers son, the year before, but I used to jump into a hole in the middle of a very prickly gorse bush, and wait till it got bored, after five minutes it would wander off and chase the geese on the other side of the field. Then work could continue for another hour or so.  I began to get excited as the dam filled and my thoughts turned to fish, where could I get some fish? while my attention was occupied with thoughts of large carp the farmer suddenly appeared walking towards the dam and looking particularly bad tempered. I have to say that he was not the least bit pleased to see the results of my labours! He siezed my dads new *****, which I had so carefully broken in and he cut the dam wide open!  I still remember the roar as the water gushed out of my dam. The farmer had not seen me, I was sixty feet up in the tree, his gaze was focussed on the things nearer the ground. He didn't like me and he wore clogs, they could hurt if if he kicked you, (I speak from  painful experience. )  "Bernard, do you know where my new ***** is?" I shook my head. "Well do you?"  "I can't say that I do dad". Oh the shame of it has haunted me ever since!  Next time I build something, I will need to find a better spot. A tree house might be just the thing! more anon.

Cometh the hour cometh the man
in a white mercedes sprinter van.
cometh the van cometh the power
and all at twenty quid (an hour).

Deep down, deep deep down
in the darkness of the sea
lie the captains blackened bones,
for ‘tis all that’s left of he.
The fish have nibbled his flesh away
and the ***** have scraped him clean,
and now he rests in the Davy deep,
in waters so serene,
hardly a current disturbs the sand
no noise affects his sleep,
only the singing of the whales,
down there in the dark dark deep.
The singing of the whales my dears
and the sighing of the sea
will serenade his lonely bones
for all eternity.
While ashore his widow waits
and still her love holds true,
for her pride and joy was a sailor boy
so smart in his navy blue.
And still she waits, and still she weeps,
for things that might have been,
and all alone her vigil keeps
forgotten and unseen.
And still she waits and still she hopes
though the pain is hard to bear,
she will wait for all eternity
until he comes back for her.

Dear Calpurnia Mockingbird, was it you I lately heard, singing in the night.
You sang so soft, so sweet and low-yet to the high c's you could go. and all below. You sang as in a dream, dark as chocolate- smooth as cream.
A wordless song-yet full of love.
What star gave you birth to sing-to sing your song to men on earth,
dispelling all complacency, and false worth.
Humbled now I will review and try to hone my skills anew.

Dog Daisy's, Taller than their tiny kin
Long stemmed and green in leaf,
reaching up towards the sky.
Now new, with white petalled faces
and a bright and golden eye,
in the Autumn they will wither
appearing then to fade and die,
not so, in the Spring they'll rise again,
to carpet all the grassy borders,
with a promise to renew their duty
spreading over all their beauty,
blowing in the Summer breeze
  playing host to swarming bee's.

My lake which took so long to make
Now yellow with Iris-green with willow,
is a the abode of ducks and swans
-and a lone  circling seagull,
Spring was kind this year,
flies in abundance for the ducklings.
warm dry days  no killing winds,
now a thousand little ducks
lie preening feathers in the sun
or splashing in the shallows.
by late summer I shall see-ducks of every colour!

Iv'e had enough of love's lament
I just can't take it any more,
the constant sigh of jilted lovers
as their feelings they outpour.
Is she true or double dealing
Is she wanting someone new,
If you wish for loving eyes-
and a friend that will be true,
Buy a puppy! you will find
lots of love-adoring-blind
a friend that will ner'e desert you
but in the end that friend will hurt you,
when at last life's at an end-
you will recall your little friend,
then you can sigh, and truly say
I missed my little friend today.

Calpernia, what distant star-ope'd the portal of her soul,
allowing her most favoured child-a goddess of her union,
of which there was but one,  to venture forth and see the sun,
her father, dressed-for her sake ,in grand attire-of burning gold and flaming hair, with full desire and proper pride, to see his daughter, standing there. A  goddess child, with full approval of his kin -who in mortal form, was sent to Earth, that son of man-grown vain with pride, wickedness and greed, wanton and unworthy-should be admonished- taught due regard for womankind. And so she came upon the Earth in beauty, and resolve to do all duty, and dispel all lust and vanity and all other foul inanity, show noble mind and honest heart, were there to play a better part, but man being wicked,  full of greed, did not seem to feel the need. Unworthy he of womankind - sorrowing she left behind in abandonment.
And now, fair Calpernia weeps, while an angry father peeps- and threatens  destruction on mankind, who is only saved by fair Calpernia's tears and pleading, and presence of mans fair companion. So take heed all  men and learn, t'was not for woman men would burn!

Forget your petty woes and gripes
0f who said what- to whom and why.
there is another life beyond
where millions all live and die.
He loves me or he loves me not,
does it matter? not one jot.
Get out there gal and sieze the day.
your heart is broken, it will heal.
You were betrayed,
come on, get real!
Rejoice and live,
you will feel pain.
but think of what you stand to gain!
life and love, all interwoven,
ballet, opera, Brahms, Beethoven!
think how fortunate you are,
how insignificant your woes,
think of children without love
lacking shelter, food and clothes.
put it all into perspective
seek a friend that you can trust,
friendship is so all important,
without it love is only lust!
Don't marry the one that you can live with,
marry the one you can't live without.
Life is there just for the taking,
Time is passing don't delay.
A leap of faith, a little courage,
Lookout gal your'e on your way....!

In ancient times long long ago,
when Ptolemy looked up into the firmament-
with wonder and amaze, to see the heavens glowing there-
he little knew of how the Gods did sport and play!
When Cassiopeia ope'd her ***** and let forth her music in the heavens, with joy the stars did dance and planets in their fundament  strove to eclipse each other vying with all their might to illuminate-the heavens more bright with their ethereal light and splendor.
Andromeda began to dance, then Sirius  and Betelgeuse,
Virgo too with Capricorn- Herculese and Aquila-Regulus with Ursa minor, all the planets danced but one,
and that with angry stance, refused to join the dance,  
Mars with red countenance stood aloof feigning reproof,  
 Look carefully, and you will see,
the stars still dance for you and me.

I never claimed to be a fly-although I'v done some flying.
I never claimed to be a whale- although I'v done some wailing
I'v never claimed to be a poet, though I will admit to trying!
ps. My wife says that I am the most trying man she has ever met.
is that a compliment-or what!!!

Keep honour bright, so says the bard.
You will not find it easy-indeed it will be hard,
But honour is rewarding, in a thousand ways,
it will be of great comfort in your final days.
Keep honour bright-and guard your tongue with care
say no ill of any man-always be fair.
keep honour bright If any man offend you, smile and turn away,
he will regret his words ere the end of the day.
Keep honour bright, cause no man displeasure,
honour has it's own reward and seeks not treasure.

In chapter twelve  We had come to the countdown. I described  in detail in this chapter what happened after that, then as I was finishing my description of the dramatic and frightening spectacle that took place, thereafter, the screen of my computer was suddenly wiped clean! Imagine my frustration and annoyance.  I could not think of anything that I might have done to cause it! I started again, from the countdown on chapter twelve and re-typed the whole chapter almost word for word. While I was checking what I had written, the screen blanked again. I had the strangest feeling that someone was looking over my shoulder! Was Big Brother watching me? I really don't know but I have my suspicions!!!
I feel it prudent to continue without going into any more detail about the test's at Maralinga. After the test's, we had a monumental celebration, and finally boarded an old passenger ship at Adelaide, all six hundred plus airmen eager to be home. The ship was called The New Australia, and believe me when I say that there was nothing new about her! She was formerly used to transport The Ten Pound Pommies  (immigrants) to a new life in Australia. We left Adelaide and sailed across The Great Australian Bight, to Freemantle, where six hundred airmen went off to Perth to avail themselves of the brothels in Row street. I was not among them, instead, I and several others were detailed to various duties around the ship. I was part of the fire picket, (the authorities seemed to think that the ship might self combust at any moment!) We left Freemantle that same evening and headed out across The Indian Ocean, which, if memory serves, took us twelve days. then we stopped for a few hours, (probably to refuel,) before entering The Suez Canal, where The new Australia had a slight contratomp with another vessel in an area called The Bitter Lakes.  She had previously had a slightly more serious contratomp on the way out, and had been obliged to dock at Singapore, where the hole in the bow was filled with concrete (two hundred tons of it). Then we sailed down The Red Sea to Cyprus, stopping only to refuel. We crossed the Mediterranian Sea, we were enjoying a very hot windless day, the sea was an absolute flat calm, overhead the clouds began to form into massive great thunderheads. We were all expecting a storm, but slowly things began to form around the ship and in the space of five minutes we were looking at four separate water spouts which surrounded the ship and dumped thousands of gallons of sea water (and numerous small fish) all over the decks. The Bay of Biscaye was also a flat calm and the days were a little cooler now as we approached the South coast of England. (It was winter after all).
We all felt very homesick at the sight of England's green mist shrouded hills, and I suddenly realized that I had not seen mist since leaving England. We left the ship on the twenty fourth of December, The New Australia was sent to the breakers yard, while we all headed homeward to spend Christmas with our families, on two weeks leave. I travelled by train to London, and then caught the tube to Hounslow East and the Two three seven to Parrotts corner. My parent's were overjoyed at my unexpected arrival, Mum made me a cup of tea, Dad handed me an apron. "Come on Son, we have a lot to do before we close!" I couldn't help smiling, It was business as usual, and I was a part of it, uniform or not.
After a quick cup of tea we worked through to twelve thirty, to finish our work, as usual. Christmas eve or not, we had to finish our work. Tired but jubilant, we settled down to enjoy our Christmas as a family and I had one more important  thing to do. My Alsation Paddy had been missing me as much as I missed him, We went for a long walk in the darkened streets and when he had walked enough he led me home, and slept beside me. After that, at the merest mention of bed, he would dash upstairs and wait under the bed for me to come, No amount of coaxing or threats would get him out, and he would nip me if I tried to pull him out, but in the mornings he used to wake me with a good licking, washing my face, before running down stairs for his breakfast. It felt so good to be home again, even if it was only for two weeks!
                                                         The end, or is it!

I spent hours walking, trying to thumb a lift, no one stopped. Near Slough, I caught the last bus going in my direction- at least it gave my feet a break- but not for long. In the early hours, near Marlborough I saw a car approaching, it's headlights cutting through the darkness along the otherwise unlit road.
It was two o 'clock in the morning and  my weary spirits rose as the car came to a halt beside me. It was a Police car! The two policemen questioned me, checked my twelve fifty, (identity card) rummaged through my belongings and then drove off, leaving me to continue alone in total darkness.
At six thirty in the morning a motor cycle roared up and stopped beside me. He wore an airman's greatcoat! "Where are you heading for mate."
"Innsworth I replied hopefully. "Me too, jump on if you want!" I did want, desperately! I arrived on camp twenty minutes late at eight twenty,  They were nearly finished kitting out, I just made it in time. "Where were you when I called the C's.?" The sergeant asked. " I could have been in the loo"
I didn't sound too convincing but he let it go. "Take off your blue uniform and put this on, then bring your blues back here." I was looking at tropical kit. "There must be some mistake. I am going to the second TAF in Germany."  (The Second Tactical Air force.)
The sergeant grinned. "You and six hundred others, you can get sorted out when you get there." I did what I was told and changed my clothes, and handed in my blues. There was quite a buzz in the accommodation block, Harry came to meet me. "What a monumental cockup! Harry said grinning. It must be ****** hot in Germany, that's all I can say! I spent the rest of the day resting my blistered feet, we were flying out tomorrow. I expected to fly from RAF Lyneham,  in a Dehavilland Comet but I should have known better, life was never that simple! To be continued.

Leaving the camp behind, we sped along the road, in a cloud of choking red dust, proceeding towards an area known as The South Australian Dessert. Barren, almost featureless country where the daytime heat was almost unbearable and night time temperatures were close to freezing.
During the journey, my thoughts drifted back to the time of my call up.
I was one of the last to be drafted into The Royal Air Force
My dad needed me desperately in the shop, he was working too hard. I resented the fact that a certain second rate comedian was excused because he claimed it would damage his career, what about my career, and my family? I was chosen-along with six hundred plus airmen, to be a part of Task Force Antler, of which you will hear later, In the mean time, we were waiting in transit in a camp in Glostershire, ROYAL AIR FORCE INNSWORTH.  There was nothing to do on camp really, except clean latrines that had been cleaned thoroughly already, I was bored, and my dad needed me. I soon discovered a gap in the system, which allowed me to go home every Wednesday afternoon, and return on Sunday evening. My dad was very pleased with my help, and it became a regular routine, until one Wednesday evening. I had just walked into the shop when the phone rang. It was my friend Harry who had been covering for me. "Bernard, get back to camp, we are being kitted out in the morning!  I was very tired, after spending the afternoon hitch hiking approximately one hundred miles, much of which I had covered on foot! I had a quick cup of tea, kissed my mum goodbye, and left holding a sandwich in one hand and my holdall in the other. I was going to need a miracle  to get me back on time, it was a notoriously bad route for hitch hiking!  more to come.

We enjoyed two days of rest and good food and discussed between ourselves all the possible reasons why we had been shipped out to OZ, instead of The Second Tactical Air Force in Germany! Neither of us had a clue, and try as we might we could get no explanation from any source.
Towards the evening of the second day, we received instructions to wait by the admin office at nine thirty the following morning, with our belongings. "What next," Gordon asked. I could only shrug my  shoulders,
"After what we have been through, anything is possible." An orderly was waiting for us,  to check our twelve fifties. "Come with me  please."
He escorted us out to where our aircraft was waiting, Our Pilot and the two fitters were busy loading equipment on board. "Climb aboard guys, we won't be long!"  "Can you tell us where wer'e going?"  He grinned, "Yes, of course, but not just yet, let's get airborne first, shall we."
He changed the subject abruptly. "You will be glad to know that our friends have fixed the problem with the reduction gears, and have replaced the seals on the fuel tanks, fingers crossed, we should be ok."
We were ok, the aircraft lifted off and we gained altitude quickly.  The pilot drew our attention to something below. "Do you see that road? "
We could see a black ribbon stretching away in front of us. "We follow that for about six hundred miles, that's the end of the line for you!"
I looked at Gordon, our eyes met, he nodded. "But what are we doing there?" The pilot's grin widened grin widened. "You will join the rest of your friends on Task Force Antler, you will be testing Atomic weapons, and good luck to you."

We reached the island in the late afternoon, it was no bigger than a cricket pitch to my eyes.  The runway was a sick joke. There was none!  There was a strip of land that was clear of jungle, (the runway) started in the sea, and finished in the sea, and was full of big potholes. It had been a Japanese airfield in the second world war, now it was covered in cows, goats and children.
We flew very low over the island twice to warn them of our intention to land.
We were very low on fuel and needed to land as soon as possible. "Here we go," the pilot grinned *hit or bust! we  almost landed in the sea, and bounced down the runway, we were less than fifty yards from the surf when we turned and trundled over to the refuelling station. I watched in trepidation as the second aircraft attempted to land, bounced twenty feet in the air and took off again, skimming the sea. It managed to land at the second attempt, bounced several times, and turned with it's tail wheel almost in the sea.  I turned to say something to Gordon and saw the pilot and aircrew looking up at the starboard engine and wing of our aircraft, which appeared to have gone green. "Looks like the reduction gears have packed in."  That was the opinion of the air frame fitters. "Can you fix it?" That was the pilot.
"Yes, but not here." the fitter said shaking his head, "It's stuck in coarse pitch so you'll need to take it easy." The pilot laughed. "If it's stuck in coarse pitch we will have to be flat out to get her off the ground!"
A little old man dressed in a loincloth, ragged shirt, and sandals manned the fuel pump and began to pump fuel into the fuel tanks located in each wing.
When that was done, about three hours later, the pilot  had him douse the wing and engine cover that was covered in the green grease, and we did our best to clean it up. As soon as the other aircraft was refuelled, we took off again. "Next stop Darwin, fingers crossed." He laughed. I could only admire his happy go lucky attitude and determination, I think he would have got us safely to our destination, even if we lost a wing!

Our next stop proved to be margially better. It was Karachi, a civil airport.
Surely there would be better amenties there, we were going to a brand new hotel! there were four of us in a room, I was first to attempt to take a shower, I stripped off and turned the shower on , There was a noise like a loud cough, and a horrible foul smelling watery mud blasted out. filling the room with an unbearable stench. Fortunately I Just managed to step back in time to avoid being sprayed with it. I dressed quickly and joined the lads in the bar. One of the aircrew spoke to me. What ever you do, don't drink the water, stick to beer.!  I had a serious Migrain problem, and I was not about to drink beer- it tended to bring on severe attacks. I and a corporal friend opted for bottled orange juice, not knowing that it had been (home made) in the hotel, using their polluted water, under the most filthy conditions. We were going to pay dearly for our mistake!
Our next stop was Singapore, This was a much nicer place. and we were given a good meal and settled in to catch some much needed sleep.
I began to feel ill. I was doubled up with massive stomach cramps. I managed to dress myself and headed for the doctors surgery, but collapsed before I got there, and ended up being stretchered in to the examination room. Gordon, my corparal friend was also there, and we found ourselves being admitted to the wards of the Isolation Hospital. !
                           more anon.

I slept like a log, inspite of the pains from my blistered feet. Harry woke me at six thirty. "Time for breakfast, better jump to it or i'll tickle your feet."  The thought of that was enough to set me in motion. After breakfast we assembled for role call beside the waiting coaches. Then we boarded, and left the camp heading for the airfield. Every one was expecting to fly from RAF Lyneham, we had heard that we would be flying in the new Dehavilland Comet, the first passenger jet. It was not to to be. The comet had crashed into the sea, there were no survivors!
Instead of that, we were driven to a remote airfield in Wiltshire, I believe it was called Cliff Pypard,  there we boarded an ageing hastings transport and set off into the wide blue yonder heading on a more southerly bearing than one would expect for a flight to Germany.
I tried to keep an eye on our progress by following coastlines, it was difficult, clouds obscured much of the coast line. I had the definite feeling that we were travelling in a South Easterly direction, and I asked one of the aircrew about it. "Don't worry, I expect we'll take a turn to the north soon." A little later, I suddenly realized that we were flying over the Med- Germany via the Med, never in this world!!
We ate chicken wings lettuce and bread for lunch, still flying at a steady one hundred and eighty miles an hour at mid day, below us dessert! We were all confused. Where on earth were we going?
Our first stop was at a place called Idris, it was an airstrip in the Libyan desert. There was nothing there only tents, and a place to refuel. I was a squalid stinking dump, and that was all. We left early the following morning after a laughable breakfast that no one ate. Our ext stop was a similar one but even more so, It was a place alled Habanya, I think, I went to use one of the two toilet's and discovered that the horrible brown stains in the toilets were actually enormous heaving masses of huge cockroaches, I went out into the desert insted. when I got back to our tent I was told off. "this place is crawling with snakes, don't stray about!" we didn't need telling twice! The tents were just as bad, infested with huge spiders, no one slept. We were glad to leave it.

We were all anxious about the takeoff. With one faulty engine and a short rough runway, we neded all the airspeed we could muster to get airborne. We hung on and braced ourselves as we roared down the runway. The bouncing suddenly stopped. We were airborn! we seemed to skim the wave tops for ages before we started a slow climb to our normal cruising altitude. This was another boring featureless flight, over the sea towards Darwin. I don't know what I was expecting, but whatever it was, I was dissapointed. Darwin was a mosquito ridden dump at  that time. We ate slept and took off after refuelling. Still with a faulty engine. The other aircraft did not come with us, this time we were alone and heading for a well known town in the outback. Alice springs. Now we were flying over some great country, it seemed so crisp and clean- even if most of it was desert. We landed at alice springs to refuel, and then took off with full tanks, heading for the Australian Air Force base near Adelaide, I think it was at Edinburgh Fields. Gordon was sleeping, or trying to, I was sitting by the window gazing at the countryside below. I began to see what looked like a vapour trail coming from the wing, there was one similar coming from the wing opposite too, it was very slight, was I seeing things, perhaps it was moisture in the air, I sat and watched for half an hour, it was more noticeable now, and it seemed to be coming from the fuel tank filler pipes. I thought it was worth a mention, and I went to the cockpit where the pilot and radio operator were talking to the fitters. The Pilot was thumping the gauges on a panel. I told them what I saw. Christ! the pilot and the fitters looked worried very worried.
He patted me on the shoulder, "Well done, we thought the fuel gauges must be faulty. He turned the aircraft around and headed back to Alice springs for another refuelling. The tanks were filled again, the filler caps were ******* down tight, and we took off again!  Twenty minutes later we were back for more fuel and the filler caps were checked and rechecked and finally ******* down as tight as possible. We took of again, and landed again, took on more fuel,and  tightened the filler caps. "It's too late to continue with the flight now, we'll stay in town tonight and try again in the morning. "That was easier said than done, we had no money and no credit, we managed to get a room at the pilots expense , but there was no food but a packet of biscuits.
I lay on the bed beside four others and wondered what tomorrow would bring.

It was a new day, the sun shone in a cloudless blue sky.
It was a special day-one to be long remembered.
I was seventeen, serving Queen and country
in a distant land, a far distant land.
As far from England's shores as it was possible to go.
Two covered trucks awaited us-their engines running.
"Climb aboard chaps, we don't want to keep Dr. Penny waiting.
The corporal sounded tense, we all felt tense- tension was in the air!
In the rest of the camp, the  six hundred men would soon be assembling, every man to be accounted for- except for myself and thirty nine other airmen, we had a different role to play. We left the camp. "good luck" someone shouted. "God help us" the white faced corporal said quietly.
                                                      To­ be continued.

Gordon and I waited outside, while the Australian soldiers were carried onto one of the transports. They were all stretcher cases, men who had been shot or blown up by Malayan terrorists I think. When every one was taken on board, Gordon and I were told to board the other Dakota type aircraft, along with a large chest of spare parts, and two air frame fitters. Both aircraft were identical and equally sparse and noisy, described as flying pigs by the pilot of our aircraft, who was a Flight Searjeant. There were two nursing sisters on the other aircraft, looking after the injured men,  our aircraft was almost empty by comparison. We took off with the engines roar filling our ears, and turned towards Ceylon, now renamed Sri Lanka. I prefer the former name personally. That part of the flight went ok, although there was no sight of land until we touched down in Colombo.
Colombo was quite beautiful and I can't recall where we were billeted but I do recall that there were rows of wooden bungalow's set amidst cocoanut palms. There were lot's of nuts on the ground, still in their husks, but we could not break them open without some kind of tool. We were also warned to keep clear of falling nuts, which could be lethal to anyone below.  The following morning we left Ceylon and headed out across The Java Sea, looking for a small island which if memory serves was called Koepeng.  That's when things started to get a little hairy!!

"Congratulations" The head nurse was an attractive lady with the rank of squadron leader, I think." You have Amoebic Dysentery, that means you can't eat and you must drink at least eight pints of chilled water every day until you are clear, when you have eaten your first meal without any problems, you can go, until then keep drinking the chilled water, and under no circumstances must you eat any food at all"
We remained in the isolation hospital for about five weeks, It was tedious in the extreme but it had to be done, After the indignity of a medical, involving a swab of cotton wool on a pair of long nosed forceps, we were both given the all clear and discharged. We were instructed to go to the transit block and wait there for further orders, we would be sent for when a flight was available to take us to rejoin the rest of the unit in Australia.
the transit block was a huge empty three storied building that had once been used as a prison camp by the Japanese.  We chose a smaller room at the end of the ground floor, it was a bit more comfortable there.
We used it as a base, for exploring the camp, no one seemed to want us, and as the days passed we spent a lot of the time swimming in the pool at the Selarang barracks. which was only a couple of miles down the road.
The walking and swimming was good excersize, but we needed to keep our eyes open, there were often snakes on the road, ready to bite the unwary.
One afternoon, we were stopped by a redcap. He demanded to see our twelve fifties ( identification cards). "Where have you two been for the last three weeks." "In the transit block Sergeant."  "No you haven't, I have checked it every day." Where is your gear?"  "In the transit block Sergeant."  "Show me." he demanded. We did. "This is not the transit block, this room is reserved for fire pickets!" We have been searching for you two for weeks."  I couldn't help smiling. The sergeant was not amused!  Two days later we climbed aboard a twin engined transport .
We were bound for Australia via Ceylon and a small Island somewhere in The East Timor Sea. Of course nothing could go wrong, it was just  going to be a routine flight!

The Australian desert can be very cold at night. It was the cold that woke us early in the morning. We were all eager to be off, and we soon found ourselves drumming along the metalled road leading to the airstrip, in an ex military four by four open topped vehicle. By the time we got there we were all frozen, and waiting for the Sun to warm us up. The pilot asked us if we would donate a shirt, the fitters were doubtful whether they had been able to stop the leakage, they intended to stuff rags into the filler pipes  to see if that would help. The pilot had second thoughts, and decided to try without, he thought there might be a danger of blocking the fuel lines, so we took off again to **** it and see,(an old tried and trusted technique in The Royal Air Force, aparrently.)Twenty minutes later, we were back on the tarmack once more ,stuffing the remains of my shirt into the fuel filler pipes. This did not cure the problem, but it did alleviate it to a degree.  The Pilot calculated that instead of being able to do twelve hundred mile (hops). we could manage three hundred miles. and there were small airstrips with refuelling facilities within range. "We should be ok, fingers crossed." I liked his confidence, and sat watching the wings slowly leaking our fuel into a thin vapour trail, as we flew along over the outback desert land. We landed several times I think, by then I was so tired that my brain craved sleep. The only stop I can remember was a cattle station at Leigh Creek, it was the last stop before Edinborogh Fields,near Adelaide. I wondered "And then what?" No one was able to tell us why we were in OZ!!

We followed the road for six hundred miles, there were no turnings off except one in all that length . The South Australian desert seemed endless.
We eventually landed at Maralinga on a newly constructed runway with new buildings and workshops, we were impressed to see it all, but we were not allowed to hang about, a peppery little sergeant directed us  to a waiting vehicle, and we were driven to the camp, there were quite a few buildings, offices and stores mostly. But there were three messes, an officers mess, a seargeants mess and an airmans mess, all of the buildings were temporary- corrugated iron roofs and walls, which could get hot enough to burn any unprotected skin. We reported for duty and were allocated a small two man tent each. My tent was located at the end of a long row, there were about three hundred tents I believe, Gordon's tent was located at the opposite side to mine, he was required to work in the decontamination unit, I was to work in the cookhouse- a humble cook's assistant. I grew to love cooking and still do! At that time all national sevice men were only allotted assistant trades, that was ok by me, I loved to eat as well as the next man! Working in the mess was unbearably hot during the day, but pleasant enough at night. The Australian food was excellent, and there was plenty of it. One thing that surprised me was the size of the potatoes, you only got about thirty to a hundred weight, and they were often hollow, caused by the rapid growing season and the sudden start of the dry season. I had the tent to myself. Almost! During the night, a large Iguana-which lived under the duckboards in my tent- would come out of his hole and climb up the side of my tent, between the actual tent and the fly sheet, then it would slide down the other side. this was repeated half a dozen times every night! Some times I used to drop pieces of meat down for it. Then I discovered that there were other less welcome guests! So I stopped feeding them. The first night that I slept there I was puzzled to see a great pile of blankets on the bed, thirteen in all, I thought that must be for two beds. That night when I lay down  to sleep, I only used one blanket, the night was reasonably warm at that time, I woke up later feeling cold, and added another blanket.  This process continued until I had all of the blankets on my bed. The night time temperature plummetted almost to freezing!  One morning when we were off duty after working all night, I and my friends climbed the one hundred foot high water tower to sunbathe. Big mistake, the silver painted tank grew hotter until by ten 'oclock it was too hot to touch, fortunately we had a blanket each, but decending a one hundred foot tower when all the metalwork, including the steel ladder is too hot to touch is a tricky and dangerous pastime!  More anon.

So that was what all the mystery was about! and the reason why we were kept in the dark, Task Force Antler was set up to test Atomic weapons!
I don't think Gordon and me had missed anything exciting, the early days of the task force were just a matter of preparation for the real events that were to come later. The tests were scheduled to take place in October and November, It was rumoured that we would be home for Christmas!
I was impatient to get back home, I worried about my dad's poor health.
I was beginning to put a bit of weight on now, after the spell in hospital,
The food was excellent. There were some Aussies stationed on the camp perimiter, they lived in air conditioned  aluminium units,
we of course,(being British,) roasted and froze on a daily basis, and thought little about it! The days passed quite slowly at first, until we were ready to carry out the first test, It was on a site forty five miles away. We were all assembled on the day of the test. We all wore our sunglasses, and were assembled for the countdown, If memory serves me right it was supposed to be a seventy two hour countdown, but I think the catering staff may have been excused some of it. We all needed to eat, after all!  The first test was like a damp squib, we hardly noticed it. It consisted of a little thunder and a cloud of black smoke. Rumour had it that the touch-paper was damp!
After a week or two the second test loomed. This was much bigger but less than we had expected, both  of the atomic devices had been mounted on towers, the next and final test was to be the biggest.
They asked for volunteers to observe the test from a roadside position some six miles from ground zero, forty five men out of six hundred plus volunteered, I was one of them! Maybe you can work out the percentage ratio, idiots to normal cautious men, It might prove useful to the military. On the day of the test, we were transported up to the roadside position where we began the countdown linked by radio to the headquarters. Half an hour before ground zero, several wagons  full of troops left the forward area. The corporal in charge radioed headquarters, "Has the test been cancelled?"  "No hold your ground, the test is imminent, you know the drill- we are commencing the final countdown."
It was rumoured that there were a number of soldiers in the forward area, in slit trenches, An officer told me later that Dr. William Penney, the chief scientist in charge of the whole test, did a quick calculation on the back of his *** packet, and said "This may be bigger than we expect!
Better bring those troops out of the trenches." It was certainly a wise decision,(probably the only one,ha ha.) We were now the nearest to the bomb! The bomb- or device, was suspended in plain sight, hanging under three barage balloons, (I kid you not),  which were tethered about one hundred and fifty feet above the  desert. The count down continued, Ten, Nine, eight,!!!!

My Dear Calpernia Mockingbird- once again your voice I heard, singing in the night.
With joy my heart was over filled, and deep within my soul I thrilled, to hear such joyous sounds, echoing the glades around, serene, profound.
I wish I had the sight, to see you dancing in the night, with graceful step to delight, the eye, but mist and moonlight both combined to hide your form, and make me blind and I could only stand and stare- and be content to hear you there, singing in the night.
Being charmed I fell asleep, lulled by your song in slumber deep- to dream of you once more ascending, to that starlit realm unending, there to take your ease.That you are mortal I am aware, and know that you are truly fair- so please don't make me wait too long, to find enchantment in your song!

Some thoughts I have I cannott put to paper,
they are too sad to read or hear,
Iv'e carried them inside for ever,
yet  sadness lingers, as at the start,
undiminished- hard to bear
wounding the heart.

A shimmering lake of my own making,
a flash of blue across the water,
twelve spotless geese conversing
in private tones, reflected.
Coot and moorhen feeding chicks,
This is my delight,
to look upon nature
in the glorious Sun
and smile, contented.

Once I had a Trilogy-a curious little thing
it had but three tiny legs and a little wing,
it used to flutter round the floor, in a manner most amusing
and settle snugly on my lap when 'ere it felt like snoozing.
It's little eye would follow me as I went about my duties,
and all my friends admired it, for it had a curious beauty.
But now the little fellow's gone to a better place,
which abounds with Trilogies, that curious three legged race.

Midnight and the house is still, you are alone in the near darkness.
A solitary candle flickers before you making the shadows dance.
In front of you, on the table, lies a blank sheet of paper.
You long to write but words elude and subjects are sparse, elusive.
Concentrate on the page before you. Nothing,
Try harder now, imagine that you are looking through the paper, to a world beyond. Did you hear that cry? was it a lamb looking for it's mother, or the cry of a frightened child?
You hear another cry, and the flash of a gunshot illuminates the  edge of the distant forest. In the darkness you can hear many voices calling in the distance. They are angry strident calls.
A horseman gallops out of the darkness, he is bleeding from a head wound. He cradles a little girl in his arms. As he turns his mount out of the field and onto the road he is approached by a young woman, who was waiting there, tear full and apprehensive.  She cries out in anguish as she takes the child into her arms and sobs with relief.
The horse man lifts her up onto the horse and they hurry off along the Dover road. All but one of their pursuers give up the chase, but he is more determined, spurred on by hatred! He will never give up ever! Keep looking now, where are they going, and from whom are they running and why? What does the future hold for them, disaster or happiness? Realize that their future is now in your hands, so WRITE ON!

Oh fender on the ocean brine
could it be that you are mine,
why did you slip and run from me?
had you longings to be free?
Return at once and I will vow
to place you on the very bow,
where you will be before all others
of your smaller rubbery brothers.
Return to me and cease your lark
or you may end up in a shark.!

See the boy as he wanders hands in pockets around the harbour,
Observe how he watches the vessels moored against the harbour wall,
Admiring this one, frowning at another.
Watch his face as he studies each in turn,
Frowning at neglect or smiling at a well found vessel,
Admiring the clean lines and seaworthiness of another.
This one is too fine in the bow, and will bury her nose in heavy weather,
The next is too bluff bowed and a good wave will stop her dead in the water.
That other, he notes, has good solid rails to hold onto in a blow,
The next has only guard wires, harsh on the hands and set too low to be of any real use!
And this one, spotlessly clean and as smart as paint,
But it never goes to sea poor thing! It is cleaned and polished daily and the engine run, but for what?
But this old fishing boat now, see how well it is cared for! Note the grease oozing from the bearings of her tackle, see how staunch and tight her boards are! And how well painted, take note how well organized she is, a place for everything, and everything in it’s place.
This is a proper sea boat, he thinks, and calls down a greeting to the skipper.
“Hi Dad, ready for gannin oot?” “Hi son. Aye ready!”

Those were the high days, the jolly days of yore,
the dim and distant past that will come again no more.
With our sweethearts and companions we would while away the hours,
laughing, sleeping, teasing ‘neath the woodlands florid bowers.
Sometimes we’d take to singing or climb the highest trees,
but often lying quiet we would simply take our ease.
Perhaps we’d roam through cornfields or paddle in the brooks,
laughing and romancing ,exchanging tender looks.
We’d often stay out very late and wear away the night
with talk of all our hopes and dreams until the dawn’s first light,
then off to try and catch some sleep ‘fore church on Sunday morn,
to the little village church which now stands so forlorn.
The bells would ring  to summon us ‘oer the county wide
oh come to church good people come, there’s room enough inside!
We’d fill up all the choir stalls, our voices strong and clear,
Sunday after Sunday for many a happy year.
It seemed that things would never change,
(they’d stay just as before), but then we heard the bugle call
And went  to join the war.
Leaving sweethearts far behind and families and homes,
we went across to France to die in friendless foreign zones.
The old church bells are silent now the steeple fallen down,
no more their cheerful ringing will peal the county round.
Those trusty souls I knew so well, are silent now just like the bell,
their broken bodies buried deep, far away in France’s keep.
In ranks they take eternal rest, of English youth, the very best!
Some comrades lie ‘neath poppy’s tall, while I alone am left of all
Those smiling lads from dale and hill, the farm, the village shop and mill,
I missed them then, I miss them still…

LA LA LA LA LA LALA
DI DUM DI DUM DI DUM,
DU DIDY DUM DUM DUM DUM
DO DO DO DA DO DOO.

On a south sea Isle by a sandy shore
She bathes in the surf for evermore
And sings.

She sings of enchanted blue lagoons
Of cocoanut groves under the moon
And things,

Of things a sailor most desires
Like a pretty girl and a glowing fire
And love.

And later when she tires of you
She’ll send you off o’er the blue
To roam.

But you’ll never escape the siren call
Of the dusky maid that so enthralled
Your senses.

So sailors all beware the guile
Of the dusky maid with the winsome smile
Who bathes in the surf by a sandy shore
Whose sole intent it is to lure the sailor.

For if you fall beneath her spell
She’ll break your heart and who can tell
Of the consequences.

Do you heed the call of the sea my son, do you hear it’s voice?
No sir, only a murmuring whence the silver fish rejoice.
Do you mark the sound of the sea as the tide o’er flows the strand?
A little I do I think sir, for it speaks of a foreign land.
Does the sound of thunder affright you, or the flash so vivid and bright?
No sir it does not affright me, it fills me with wondrous delight.
What think you the life of a sailor? could you leave those you love on the strand and stride off over the shingle to face dangers in far away lands?
Plainly that would be hard sir, and my heart would be broken in two,
but I think I should just have to bear it, for that is what sailors must do!

Lonely the lot of the sailor, on the desolate watery ways,
for danger follows his footsteps e’en on the calmest of days.
But when the sea sparkles in sunlight, or the moon on the water doth dance,
why then the sea touches his spirit and softly his soul doth entrance,
for the call of the sea is persistent and the pull of it lasts a life long,
he’ll make little of nautical dangers just as long as he hears the sea’s song.

Do I inspire or am I dire?
Amusing or just boring.
Oh humph you say and turn away
Good gracius, are you snoring?
I really thought that you would have
a little understanding-but all you say is go away
and don't be so demanding!
If that's the case old funny face,
there will be no nights of passion,
until your churlish ways improve
in a politer fashion!

We'd grown accustomed to the rain. The incessant rain.
The waterlogged ground, the standing water all around.
Long weary months, no sight of sun, underfoot the soil is mud.
The seasons change from Winter into Spring; But still the rain,
still the lashing days, the night's when lulled to sleep by natures tattoo upon the roof.
Birds, rain soaked, dishevelled, find little shelter amidst the rain soaked leafless trees.
The industrious ducks, madly dibbling, turn the soaking ground to pools, their ever probing beaks sifting mud.
The despair of weather's dreary cycle, month after month. And then, the sun!  at last the sun!
How we rejoice; the rain has ceased at last.
Now the sun is here to warm the earth,
Trees and grass grow green again, embracing the warm, life giving rays. The countryside is growing beautiful again.
Now the lakeside is thronged with downy ducklings, brown and yellow ***** of energy, darting at the rising Mayflies.
The Geese also have their young and parade in line astern, a guardian in front and one behind.
The lonely Swan has made friends with a white Duck, and the Carp, great and small, are basking at the surface, warming their backs in the welcome rays. The soggy earth is turning hard, and new cracks appear daily.
No rain now, only the blazing Sun.
People lately clad in raincoats and boots, now roam about in lighter garb, bare backed, bare legged, turning redder  with each day.
The lonely country walks are now awash with sturdy hikers and the parks are thronged with Sun worshipers, stretched out to brown, like drying fish.
By the Hall, the lake shimmers like a mirror, and from my window I see the Swallows swooping low, dipping their beaks to the water for sedges and  and mayflies. The first Bats, from the culvert spread their wings and join the evening Swallows in their search for food.
Sun wind and water are in harmony.
How glorious the Earth with teeming life! How wonderful her colours and her creatures; I cannot truly comprehend so great a beauty.
All life is miraculous! the elements surely blessed.

The Firethorn Tree stands in the garden
by a latted  wooden fence
festooned o'er all cascading flowers
with a whiteness so intense.
In the freezing winter months
her scarlet berries cry come hence
to the ever hungry birds ,in residence.