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B Nov 2013
I glance out the window
It’s still there
The wall
I built it there last winter
After you left
I thought you would stay for good that time
I know better now
The snow is beginning to fall again
So I know you’ll be by soon
This time it will be different
The wall is strong and steady
You won’t be able to break it down
Thanks to you, no one ever will
B Nov 2013
It's impossible to like you

I never truly did


It's impossible to like you

when I’ve always loved him
Even though we're not together,
we’ll always have this thing
Me for him
him for me
We’re simply meant to be.
B Nov 2013
Down by the water you'd find her,
Humming a happy tune
Laughing with the wind and swinging from the trees
Dancing with the grass and painting pictures out of clouds
Wading into the water and making faces at the fish
The girl no one could ever figure out
And the one whose smile made it all okay
Until the world anchored her
Vibrant colors to pale grays
Loud laughter silenced
Wild hair tamed
Down by the water it’s empty now
No longer a sight to see
Vacant of the free spirit that once lived in me
B Nov 2013
I scratch the surface
Where is the purpose?
I call, I scream, I shriek, I yell
But it can’t be found, as far as I can tell
I am one, the world’s the rest
It treats me like an annoying pest
I only want one thing I shout
To find the purpose-what life’s about
It roars back “you silly girl”
And is gone like that, in a whirl
For all my years I look and look
As time creeps upon me, like a crook
I’m done, I give up, I can’t search anymore
The thought, no purpose, fills my core
I howl and scream and behold it returns
I say “my soul, my flesh, my being burns”
Youth has left me, gone as quick as a fire
So will you fulfill my one desire?
It laughs, “Too late, you’ve missed the purpose”
I scratched the surface
B Nov 2013
Do you remember
When we’d climb the old oak tree
Sit atop it and look
Look out at the world
Our world
Ours to conquer
Together, of course
Side by side, hand in hand
It’s different now
We’re both grown
I still visit the tree
And
I secretly hope I’ll find you there
Sitting atop, waiting for me
Our eyes would meet
It’d be as though we were young again
We’d join hands, and jump
Into our world
Together again, together at last
Yes, I remember
B Nov 2013
I reached out
I grasped a handful of sand
I held so tight
The small grains fell right through my fingers
I tried to catch them
They ignored my attempt
Crashing to the ground
I fell with them
Buried my face in the sand
And let the ocean pull me in
B Nov 2013
I keep trying to quit you
And start over new
So time and time again I erase you from my life
But always come back because only you can solve all my strife
I tell myself life without you will be fine
But when my blood turns to alcohol, I need to call you mine
I want to find the we, we are destined to be
That’s why you still find your bed warm with me
But another side of me is scared to be all in
Afraid I’ll ruin us before we even begin
Will all my second guessing ever cease?
Will my brain and my heart ever make peace?
I don’t have the answers to pull me through
So I keep trying to find them all in you
Please, I beg you, do something to fix it
Don’t you have some kind of tool in your tool kit?
I like you too much to just let you go
Cause I'm your starry night and you’re my van gogh
There must be a reason we always come back to each other
And a reason for why I never look the same way at another
I think it’s because I know we’ll be great
Please tell me, my dear, I’m not too late
B Nov 2013
Astronauts dance across you
Leaving trails of star dust and milky way paths
Illuminated by the glow of the night
I trace the patterns with my earthly fingertips
Jumping from star to star and moon to moon
I say you belong in outer space
You're far too perfect for the world I'm bound to
I star gaze at your eyes, the planets of your soul
Smile, see what I see, my dear
For you are my beautiful atmosphere
B Nov 2013
I can’t get to sleep
Because my brain over thinks

I wish I could shrink it

For a night at least,
Just close my eyes and drift off 

But my mind is racing
Steadily chasing
The thoughts overcoming me,
The thoughts keep outrunning me
I wish I was with you
I can't help but miss you
I try to tell myself otherwise
Keep piling lies on lies
I wish the lies were true
I don’t know why I want you
Alone the sleep won’t come
But you’re not coming either
B Nov 2013
Time ticking on the wall
It enters my thoughts, consumes them all
Envelops me, body and soul
It simply devours me whole
Why do I care? Why am I concerned?
I wish I had never learned
Then I wouldn’t know what the ticking meant
And to my mind it wouldn’t make the slightest dent
I need to tear it down, that petrifying sound
Break free and live my life unbound
So here I go and down it crashes
To me all time turns to ashes
I am free - free to soar
Inside I hear time’s distant roar
B Nov 2013
I wish I didn’t want you
If only it was a decision
A conscious one anyway
Why you out of everyone?
You’re nothing special
Is what they all say
But they don’t know you
I speak as if I do
Maybe my mind is tricking me
Playing a harmless game
Only it’s not harmless
I'm falling
I’ve fallen
For you
You look me in the eyes
And
Walk away

— The End —