Baby, I'm lonely tonight
She sang softly into the microphone
A room full of people
and I know she was alone
She never did live in anyone else's world
But I remember her living in mine
All those years ago
Lying naked under giggling covers
Watching her day dream with night eyes
Closed up tight
Listening as she always was
Her reality
In wake and dream
Whirls of color
Shades of mist
She's added a few wrinkles
And a few grey hairs
But she hasn't aged a day

I see the magic
Within this Indian Summer
And waxing Autumn
Half naked trees are stretching their limbs as far as they dare
With the change that is choking the air

Im not here any more
My body will remain sitting
But my mind has flown far away
I am in a world of technicolor
Dancing in a sea of green
That your perfect vision can not see
Twirling with flowers in my hair
I enjoy your absence and wonder
About this crazed head of mine

Seasons never stay green
The rain always comes
And washed the color away

The green flows into the river
Where we used to spend sun filled days
Leaving loving memory in the mud

A new season starts
Brown and grey stains all optimism
As we fantasize about drowning

Black midnight skies bring out shadows
So we have silent company
A new face to dance into the regretted dawn

We walk to the gallows
To remember all that have moved on
Tears are useless they didn't mean to leave us here

Clover covers where muddy feet tread
A green carpet for our friends last bed
Their sweet smell carries us to the river side

Transparent color flows to fast to grasp
Memories drift back
As the sin sinks and reality fades

We fall into our river
Forever floating in color out of reach
The gallows will never have us, our souls we keep

Grey and hard like rocks weigh us down
Eyes never have color to see
My shadow and I will not rest in clovers
Eyes never have color to see

This mist wraps around me
Freezing my heart to a stop
While curdling my blood
And chilling my bones
Sealing my eyes with frost
So that I can't see the hands sweetly suffocating me
Putting me to rest
In ***** eternal sleep
So I can't feel your breath on my neck
Or your hands around my hips
Or when you toss me aside when your done
Like an old rag doll
This mist wraps around me
Locking the door to my own prison and shelter
So that if I wake
All you were is a nightmare

Running from the past
Hiding from the future
Blocking out eternal pressures
By standing still with eyes closed
Dreaming that it would all disappear
Whether I disappear
If am left alone in my death
To realities of this world
Peoples joy can haunt me
Tease me
No more
Finally cold and alone
Left in peace with my bleeding mind

These are writers hands of mine
thinking in verse and prose
trying to convey my heart to my head
and make sense of it all
they feel the vibrations
of the surrounding
they move like the crow and swallow
rapid
always watching with wisps and twarts
dancing in the sunlight and rain alike
half and half they are
my duality
or practicality and lust
callused and worn
they have been and will be with time
as it whisks me away
age may creek into my bones
the creases may sink
and veins raise
but they will remain to move the same
they are my expression
for often my voice refuses to work
my writing words are able to stay between
while my heart may wander
and my head become frustrated and stuck
perhaps they will be my wisdom
perhaps they will become my eyes
to see every day anew
to smell the flowers
and ignore the hours as they will pass all the same

There is this sadness
Pooling in my heart
In its dark reflection
All I see is your face
Unruly curls
Solum smile
And the saddest of eyes
Where the warm sea
Meets the harsh reality of land
Resting inside of those windows
Haunting me again
While I need you to need me
Lothe me
Love me
Hold me
Hate me
For while I am with him
While I lie
And love him
The hole that rests within my chest
He has never filled
The hand full of flesh and bone
That I hoped you still hold to you

This heart of mine aches for yours
For within you
You hold me
I know I am safe with in your arms
The outside chaos you banish
Taking the lashes for me
You can feel me shaking
And my heart struggling to beat
So you pull me in closer
Whispering, promising in my ear that everything will turn out okay
My shelter and sun
I can't tell you
I can't let you know
How much I love you
And how much my fragile shell needs you to keep it together
But I fear my wings are stretching your heart to wide
And that I only cause you pain
I know you take it willingly
And that you love me all the same
But as my keeper I can't hold you any longer
I may clutch your arms around me
And burry my head in your chest
But my pain is not yours
It shouldn't be your fear that one day my insides will fall apart
One day you will find her
The one that you dream of
And feel at night
She will be able to give you back the love that you hand out so freely
To give you all that you deserve and more
My love, my light
Its time that I go