CHAINS MENTAL

Ayad Gharbawi

December 5, 1989 – London

See angels
In your mind
In their paths undefined still
See the mirror
Staring at you
Yes, you
All along
I knew that was my message
I tried to give within you
In the eyes of hatreds
That saw somewhat too much
I tried to explain
In my life limited
By chains mental
Ah but you ought to have known my
Friendless friend!
Somehow I deemed all others
Somehow more understanding
I guess I misunderstood it all
All in all

BEGGING SOUL


Ayad Gharbawi




Come to hear
A tearful word
That so begs
An unheard Hatred
To begin to love
In her blackened life;

If only we can
Live
In this trial
Of such a beautiful
Ending.

A WIFE’S PLEAS

1995

Come to please
This life
That so suffers
Her insides
Out:

In my life
That you love
I can only see
What truths
Can be so
Killing me.

A MADMAN’S GESTURE

1995

Ayad Gharbawi


In rooms of a time I called yesterday
The evenings were red I felt
The sunsets meant something final to me
A pointless hand gestured meaningfully
A sentence expressed passions
Where else did I paint scenes of life
You saw the conversations
The attempts
In instances hopeful
I cried once or twice
To create
The hope of love
And fulfilment, how strange
Glancing nowhere
Walking somewhere
Where do I exist?
I can be, I can love
Yet, in loneliness’ laws
Who is there
To love?

AN OLD SUICIDE NOTE

1995

From my eye
That once
Used to win
And now
Getting to be
Upset
In my own blood
That is still
So unreal.

So goodnight to all
Farewells!
Now I can gossip
About Death
That so far
May happen,
Just happen
Tonight.