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Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
BLINDED EYE

1995

Uncertainties
That faint
In their sudden life
Beginning to create
A passionate being
That suffers
From an embarrassing
Self-hatred
That begs to ****
Her only
Eye’s belief.
Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
BIRTH OF SORROW

1995

From my life
I gave in

Surrendering to
A sudden
Realisation

Of such
Serious Sorrow

That so wrecked
My once
Secure life

And therefrom
I did
Suffer.
Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
BATTERED CHILD’S TESTIMONY


Ayad Gharbawi

1995

A sunshine that sparkled quietly
Rainbows of necessary ambitions that wilt
Oceans of hate collapse in evil
Evil for fun, evil for no reason
A sunshine someone dreamed of
Dreaming from the sorrows of the crooked,
Twisted and repeated years
Where a little girl receives **** as Man’s
Reason and desire’s needs.

Life anywhere continues
Ancient woman weeping
Modern woman crying
The intervals and gaps mean nothing to me
For the bleeding ones
They march in circles
Circles vague as their lives prescribed.

Irrelevance is a powerful concept today
I exist here today
Soon, I shall be as ancient as the others
While the intelligent people continue
With their words of reasons and smugness
Students in classrooms I have never seen
Pour out their literature on sanity and its values
And are repeatedly taught
The intricate values of zero;
Out there, children on drugs and dull careers
And learning Evil’s persistent wisdom.

Trust the none
Hate the all
Survive for the only one
That is you.

And you may feel
And achieve a measure
Of dust’s worth
While the storms of the powerful
May stampede upon your heart and love
What you feel, my imaginary friend
Is an act of irrelevance
Irrelevance to the globe of toiling people
What you feel, you must forget
What you love, you must abandon.

And, as you shall wilt soon
You too must turn away
And face the death of the Meek
The death of the unknown Christs.
Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
DEATH OF MAN

Ayad Gharbawi



BOOK ONE
November 25, 2009 - Damascus

So let me speak now on my thoughts that have been gathered from the years of my experiences and from the years of my thinking.
I have come to many conclusions, in a conclusion of my own life.
Let me talk about every subject that concerns you all.
You think of ‘religion’ – and that word has more than one meaning – and I must say that it is not ‘good news’ as so many religious and evangelical people propound.
I tell you my friendless friends that there is NO good news to speak of – at all. It does not exist. That does not mean to say that religious people are lying to you – no, it is just that they are idiots, that’s all.
Why do I say there’s no ‘good news?’ because life is a pile of broken glass, blood, hysteria, panic, depression, failures and ultimate pointlessness.
Let me start from the beginning.
In the beginning, Man was created and he and she are a truly, unbelievably DESPICABLE entity.
That’s my starting point for Man, his History and his so-called Civilisation.
That is my starting point for WHO Man is today as he interacts and talks with other people.
Don’t trust Man!
Don’t believe in Man!
Remember and remember firmly that Man is fundamentally EVIL and you must act accordingly.
If you trusted Man, then you must pay the price.
Why do you then cry?
Didn’t you guess or understand or fathom who this repulsive entity was and is and will be?
Now IF you can actually comprehend that Man is fundamentally evil, then you should be on the Right Path.
Now when I tell YOU that Man is evil, that means that everyone that is around your existence is EVIL.
Your family are evil; your beloved ‘friends’ are evil, your ‘lovers’ are evil, your children are ultimately going to be evil – and this fact particularly HURTS.
The humans in your job are evil. Basically try to understand that EVERONE in your life is evil and act accordingly.
What do these words mean?
These words mean that when your beloved ‘friends’ speak to you then you must pretend and act that you too ‘like’ them. But within your heart, BEAR NO ILLUSIONS! Your ‘friends’ are nothing more than sickening creatures who will one day stab you in your back.
Remember that when humans ‘talk’ to you they do not understand what and why they speak.
Ask your friend this question, ‘Who exactly are you?’
They ought to answer you honestly, ‘I know NOT myself. My Unknown Self’.
ADMIT you humans that you know not who you are!
Think that perhaps you are NOTHING?
Can you understand that question?
Jew Christian Moslem Buddhist Hindu ------- ‘who’ are ‘you’? What is your Self?
What is your Identity?
How can we – we, who do not know you - RECOGNISE you?
And what if we cannot recognise you precisely because your personality is completely unrecognisable?
What if your Self & your Soul are Unrecognisable?
Do you ever – at any flickers of Time – sense & feel that you yourself are Completely Unrecognizable?
Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
DEATH OF INSPIRATION

Ayad Gharbawi

1995

Forgive them
Those who fall
Failing in their grasp
To touch beauty’s breath

And so,
Tenderness suffers
From her abused brain
Boxed so many times
By intending fists
Splintering without
Pause.

--
Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
Death Of A Friend


Ayad Gharbawi

Say to us
Hurtful Words
Of changes to come
Impersonal

Waves
A-wash
Upon hearts
Mortified –
O days;
Gone?
Or are you
To become?
Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
CONTRADICTIONS IN LIFE!

May 1995 - London

A love
Ends
And a truth
Suspended
No longer
Finally
Begins to
Laugh
At herself.

Unbelieving eyes
Come to feel
Here
This now moment
That has so
Despised
Your only lifetime’s
Achievements
Of worthlessness.
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